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Flapjacks are calling my name!

by Claire19. September 2013 12:42

 

Every morning this week I have been getting up later than usual and doing meditation, yoga and exercise with my mum. We have been trying meditation with chanting. I actually quite like the repetitive chants and have found I feel quite grounded and alert after them. It’s nice having someone to do it with also.

Yesterday I had clients all afternoon but in the small time frame beforehand I decided to get my healthy cookbooks and experiment with some recipes. We baked some healthy seeded flapjacks made with nuts, dates and agave. Obviously I try not to have any sugar where possible but these looked so good I had to give them a go. In future I will try altering the recipe and add stevia and fewer dates. But at least it is all natural products. We made loads of them and now they just keep calling my name! Ha ha. I also made almond butter. It’s very tasty and a great alternative for me as I do lack things to spread on ryvita or rye bread.

I have seen a lot of research in the last few days of some really positive news on treating triple negative breast cancer of all stages. It seems they are finding that TNBC is very treatable with chemotherapy of different kinds but also that the fixing the faulty DNA is also a great solution.
http://www.curetoday.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/article.show/id/2/article_id/2157

I have also been hearing a lot about Heidelberg in Germany. Pete and I visited there for a day in June. Pete seems drawn to it. Then on holiday a friend mentioned that her friend was going therefore alternative cancer treatment. So me being me I decided that was enough to look into it further especially when Pete sent me an article on a guy who was told he couldn’t be treated or have surgery by the NHS because the prostate cancer he had was so entwined that they couldn’t operate. He paid £4000 and had the surgery in Heidelberg and he is now cancer free! The website seems to have a lot of information and expertise in treating many kinds of cancers and I can send my medical information along and they will advise me if they can treat me or not. I am not suggesting that treatment I have had recently with Dr Nesselhut isn’t working or that the next step in a few weeks time there isn’t going to work. Quite the opposite. I have a really good feeling about it but it doesn’t hurt to keep my options open. I think when I go to see Dr Nesselhut next I will ask him what he thinks about Heidelberg and their clinics. It gives me more hope though. I think I will fire Professor Harris an email and see what his thoughts are.. If you don’t ask you don’t get.

I have also been sent some info from my friend Wayne who has lung cancer who has seen some really interesting information on photodynamic therapy. This is already featured on my website but I was advised that it was something I couldn’t have here but on reading the article Wayne sent me it could be something worth investigating further. I was told that I had so many tumours that they were so small and too close to airways that it could be dangerous but I think this is worth investigating further also. I now don’t have any in my lymph nodes and the ones in my lungs are so small that it could be a good time to get rid of it?

Mum, Pete and I went out for a cheeky mid weeky meal last night to a local pub. Boy, I find it hard trying to eat vegetarian let alone vegan in so many restaurants. It was also a struggle initially not having an alcoholic beverage. But by not having any by the time I got home I felt really good about myself and know I just don’t need it. Good thing really considering I am now going to be tee total for at least forty days.

I received my herbal remedy from Brazil yesterday with a message from John of God in it. He said ‘Having been a gem miner, I have learned that in order for a precious stone to show its true beauty, it must first suffer the process of refinement, likewise each child, a rare diamond of creation, must be polished in order to realise their superior destination.

Great suffering is generated as consequence of the world going through great transformation. In the midst of this, the ability to sustain our lives and strengths must reside in our trust in the Supreme Being who is God.

Finally I leave you with the words of Christ in the gospel of john (ch.15 v.12) ‘This is my commandment: Love another as I have loved you’.

The remedy is passiflora which is passionflower. I have taken this information from a website;

Passiflora is the perfect herb for nourishing the nervous system, working gently and safely to reduce anxiety.

Many people find the pace of modern life extraordinarily fast, throwing up continual challenges as to how to cope with the continual demands on their physical, emotional and mental resources. This brings up the need for remedies that can soothe and strengthen the nervous system and spare the adrenal glands.

Passiflora is the perfect herb for nourishing the nervous system, working gently and safely to reduce anxiety. Instead of sedating the nerves, which can cause other effects such as drowsiness and a feeling of being disconnected, Passiflora reduces levels of anxiety in the body. This makes it easier to deal with everyday situations that would otherwise be draining.

Passiflora works on the physical body, relaxing muscles to reduce tension and that unpleasant knotted sensation that brings your shoulders up round your ears when you're tired or stressed! It also works on the emotional symptoms of stress, lessening the feeling of being on edge with a nervous system that's continually jangling. Keeping things calmer during the day means that the body finds it easier to switch off at night, allowing a more peaceful sleep that will refresh all the systems for the morning. This is extremely important because the restorative action of sleep, both physical and mental, makes the body better able to deal with the demands of the next day. Not sleeping well makes everything far harder to deal with.

Taking this remedy for stress or nervous anxiety and tension is extremely easy because it has no contraindications or side effects. It won't create physical dependency and doesn't cause drowsiness or problems with concentration. In fact, as it promotes better sleep, it may increase energy and improve memory and mental focus.

Much of the strain of dealing with on-going pressures can be reduced if you have more confidence in your ability to cope, and this feeling is promoted by seemingly small improvements in areas such as memory and concentration, which come from a better nourished nervous system and more refreshing sleep.

I am sitting here smiling, thinking John of God is a genius. It makes so much sense to prescribe this following his treatments. Anyone going to see him or receive healing is clearly worried and under immense stress or else they wouldn’t want or need healing. I also understand now the need to remove alcohol. I am not too sure why chilli has to be removed but can only imagine that it inflames the body and disturbs sleep.

Well I have a big tub of the remedy and I will add it to my daily supplements.

The week is flying by and mum is going tomorrow... Well maybe... I may just twist her arm to stay another night... Laughing

 

 

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Triple Negative

A lucky streak at hospital...

by Claire17. September 2013 18:36

 

This week I have the pleasure of my mum staying with me. It’s always nice having your mum about. We don’t have anything planned really as I need to get back to work and start earning some money and tending to many ladies brows before they get out of hand! But even so we have been making the most of our time together. Well actually I have been roping her into trawling through cook books with me and making a list of recipes we are going to try out. I love nutrition and I love food but have never found cooking and combining flavours as something that comes naturally to me. So I have made an executive decision that there is only one way to change that and that’s to take the time and learn. I love eating veggies and I want to eat fresh natural foods so I have been referring to books such as Honestly Healthy, Crazy Sexy Kitchen and Guilt free Gourmet to get my kicks. Today we bought our ingredients and extra special tools... I plan on making myself a little recipe book with my own tweaks and recipes eventually, things that will really help everyone not just us canSer babes!

I went to hospital today also and had a blood test in preparation for my next round of chemo that starts tomorrow. I was feeling very luck y when on arriving at the pharmacy my prescription was ready for me. This normally takes over an hour to prepare as they never have the confirmation from my oncologist. Then when I walked into the blood test area there wasn’t a single person waiting. I was asked by the phlebotomist how long I had waited... I said I didn’t! But then I thought my luck had changed when I saw on the screen that there was a 90 minute wait to see my oncologist. Boo... I couldn’t believe I had so much planned today and this was going to seriously hold me up. Knowing the nurses I decided to ask if it was necessary for me to see the doc as I had my drugs, had my blood test and I felt fine. Luckily my oncologist called me to see him in the corridor in between patients and we had a corridor consultation. He gave me more paperwork, asked how I was doing and how the website and communications were going and said that he felt having looked at my recent scan that it was stable. That the miniscule increase in one the tumours in one lung were too difficult to see if they were actually a real increase or not. However despite this he said he wants me to have a ct scan sooner than normal. He said that there are plenty of other things we can do if there has been an increase or spread. I don’t didn’t want to hear this to be honest. I don’t want it sooner. Anyway I am not sure when sooner it can be done. I go away to Germany in two weeks and coming back from there I am advised not to have a scan for at least two weeks. So I am guessing it will end up being in November when I actually want it to be. I will have to organise that with Prof when I get the letter from the hospital.

So I was lucky after all. I skipped having to wait hours for my appointment and we went about our afternoon with a skip in my step! I had a visit to my favourite health food store, Bean bag in Witney. I bought a few new items that I have been reading about and just came across by accident. I bought Maca powder and Coconut Manna.

Maca powder is a Peruvian root vegetable containing a variety of nutrients such as vitamins, minerals, enzymes and every essential amino acid. Maca powder is perfect in smoothies, juices and protein drinks.Maca powder can be stirred into your daily smoothie, juice or protein drink. It is also particularly delicious when combined with raw cacao products.

Coconut Manna is a delicious whole food, made of pure, dried coconut flesh. This tropical "melt in your mouth" treat contains 16% fibre and 7% protein and nourishing fats. Warm it up to spread the goodness. I think I am going to use is purely from the jar as well as spreading and in smoothies for a creamy texture.

I have cupboards full of ingredients I have barely used and don’t know what to do with. I have a mission of experimenting in the next few months.Watch this space....

I simply cannot believe that I will be starting round 14 of chemo tomorrow! .... Blimey this year has flown but also feels like so much has happened. And so much to come...... 

Breaking news! Pete Just sent me some really this exciting news. There is going to be vaccine being trialled to prevent the reoccurence of breast canSer including triple negative breast canSer. It is in the US but wow.. things are happening.. For more info click on the link;

http://www.wkyc.com/news/article/314672/3/Cleveland-Clinc-team-develops-breast-cancer-vaccine%E2%80%8F


 

 

 

 


 

 

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Triple Negative

Changes are coming.....

by Claire15. September 2013 14:34

 

Our trip up North was brief but jammed pack full of laughs and love. We are already home and I feel in need of getting my life back in order. I have had a very sensitive stomach the last few nights and I think my body is telling me to really start knuckling down and be kind to myself. Food as ever is a sticking point but being good all the time takes effort and will power and I can’t help but want to live a balanced life like everyone else.

I’m looking forward to the week ahead as my mum is coming to stay and she loves getting involved with my morning rituals, exercised, meditation and eating healthily. Starting as I mean to go we are going to do some healthy cooking to extend my repertoire. I do have a busy week too with clients booked in plus hospitals visits. It seems my week off chemo has once again flown by and the next cycle is looming. I have to be grateful though as to how well I feel and for the lack of side effects I have suffered. I pray that it is working though.

With the change in weather I definitely feel a shift in me. The way I feel, I think it is time to start a fresh and start making new clear goals for the near future. I aim to attend the HD brows masterclass this autumn, as well as start the nutrition course. I want to enhance my life by having more treatments and trying out pranic healing and reconnection healing. I have a long visit to Germany coming up and I know that this can leave me feeling out of balance to but I think my new challenge will be to live as healthily as possible when travelling. I am sure if I set my mind to it that it is possible. But I have to remind myself that actually I have been following my mantra, ‘I flow with life’, maybe being less strict and letting things flow without so much of a second thought is healthy for me?

I have so much to look forward to. There are big things coming and I hope that I can continue to live such a great life. It has been a monumental year and I don’t think that is going to change any time soon.

A good friend emailed today, as I hadn’t heard from for some time and he said, ‘Stay hopeful and remember, as I think C.S Lewis said, that our lives and the decisions we make in them become more important as we get older’.

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Back to the land of the living and there's much to see and do!

by Claire13. September 2013 12:51

 

We’re back to the land of the living. I’m feeling a bit emotional from tiredness and sad at leaving there for yet another year and having made such strong bonds with complete strangers who we can now call friends. There are too many highlights to the week for me to mention but if I had to it would be spending time with our old friends and making new ones. Of course Marsha, our friend’s daughter really made it for me. I mentioned her in my last blog. She has been living with her new parents for 12 years now. She was adopted by Patricia Messenger and her husband Brendan who live in Ireland. Patricia is a radio star and during a work venture to visit orphanages in Russia she saw Marsha. The conditions were unthinkable and unliveable but even though I am sure Patricia would have saved all the children if she could, on seeing Marsha it left her feeling haunted.

Today Marsha lives a rich life full of love and fun and makes the most of every second. They as a family are so lovely to be around. I find myself wanting to sit with Marsha and ensure she is ok but she seems to really take everything in. Her parents treat her so kindly that it fills me up every time I think of them. Such selflessness inspires everyone they meet. I can honestly say most people couldn’t do what they have done and to think that they will care for Marsha for the rest of her life as she needs one to one attention. It certainly puts things into perspective and nothing seems hard really when you see them. I feel honoured and so very grateful.

The moment I walked through the door I started to get my life back in order. The washing has been done. The food shop has been done and my week planned for clients. The food shopping was all important as although we didn’t eat terribly it isn’t the same as eating our foods. My fridge is full of fresh green veggies and fruits and my first home made smoothie today was just great.

I have had time to plough through my emails and there has been a lot of activity with Google alerts on all things triple negative. There is a new phase two clinical trial in the US for a combination of two drugs. See the article here: http://www.cleveland.com/healthfit/index.ssf/2013/09/new_triple_negative_breast_can.html

As well as a very interesting article by Lord Saatchi, introducing a bill aiming to help find a cure for cancer 18 months after he lost his wife to a rare form of the disease. The peer claimed the current treatment was "medieval, degrading and ineffective" and the law was a barrier to a cure. His Medical Innovation Bill aims to prevent doctors from being held liable for clinical negligence if they innovate during cancer treatment. Watch this short film about it; http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-21045287

 

Things coming up in the calendar are, of course, Breast Cancer awareness month in October but also Macmillan Cancer Support are holding their national coffee morning on Friday 27th September. Last year just from holding the coffee mornings and people making small donations they raised £15 million! Macmillan is an integral part of cancer care. They help so many people right from diagnosis to end of life care. Any excuse for tea and cake!! I best try to see if I can make some healthy ones!
Here’s the link to find out more and get your pack to hold your own coffee morning;

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Aboutus/News/Latest_News/JointheWorldsBiggestCoffeeMorningonFriday27September.aspx

 

Even though we are back from holidays and the summer here definitely seems to have gone our fun hasn’t. We are heading up north this weekend for more friend antics. I honestly can’t remember having so many friends before! How lucky are we?

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Triple Negative

Meeting old friends and making new ones.....

by Claire10. September 2013 11:54

I'm sat here in sunny Ibiza. It hasn’t been for a few days but thankfully now it is. It’s weird how the weather changes everything.

For the first few days we met some amazing people whilst basking in the sun. Our life stories unfolding. I find it incredible that such strong bonds and friendships can happen in such a short space of time.

But from experience and previous visits here, the friendships we make are life long ones. Every time I come here I go home richer, blessed and so grateful. You wouldn’t think that of such a place where it’s thought to be chaotic and hedonistic.

We have had the pleasure of meeting our good friends who we only met a year ago. They are also incredible people having adopted a blind/deaf child from an orphanage in Russia. I feel humbled and amazed at their strength and unity and above all love.  To be honest it’s been an honour to have their company. And their daughter Marsha has been through so much but seems so switched on and astute and has a hunger for living. Marsha gave me a gorgeous gift including a little glass angel and handmade pot with candle. These have pride of place on my meditation station.

My feelings on arriving in Ibiza were those of nervousness and fear. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I’ve realised that all fear is created by me. I put too much pressure on myself. No one expects anything of me but I do of myself. I don’t want to let myself down by drinking too much and not getting enough sleep for example. I have actually done both of those things and I feel fine about it. Pete says it about balance. Wait till I get home and everything is back to normal. I do worry that I will be ‘punished’. Silly really. I make my own choices and I’m to blame if the outcome isn’t what I want. It’s hard feeling well but knowing you have an illness.

We did toy with this being our last visit to Ibiza for at least a few years but now being here in company of friends, because that’s what the staff here have become, I find it hard to not come back again. The reason for making this decision was that we have so many other places to explore but the magnetic pull of this place is immense. My only wish was that I had will power to stick to water and have early nights!

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Triple Negative

What's really important in life?

by Claire4. September 2013 16:47

 

So I’m packed and ready for yet another holiday as everyone keeps reminding me. It may seem we are away on holiday a lot but not so. We have only a few days to a week away at a time unlike others that have a whole two weeks off work! And bearing in mind we are away in Germany often but that is not out of fun.  Even though I love travelling I actually have this longing to stay at home this time. It hasn’t helped seeing the weather forecast for our destination. It’s going to be rainy apparently. I normally wouldn’t mind as there will be plenty to do plus I will be away with my man. But I really love the day times there and all I want to do is sit in the warm September sun.

Life is funny isn’t it? Are we ever truly happy with what we have? I think I love being at home because I feel safe here. I know I can manage my diet without any distractions and I love my ‘spaces’ in my house. We spend all our evenings in the snug and I love my meditation area in the lounge. I clearly love my bedroom as that is where my bed is!

But there I go again worrying about the future. What will the weather be like? What if it’s rainy? And so on. The most important lesson any of us can learn is that today is more important than anything.

It’s like we all plan for the next experience and then the next. Nothing is ever good enough anymore. I have noticed it’s harder to arrange to see friends these days as everyone has so much booked in their diaries months in advance! I wonder if we are all so uncomfortable in ourselves that by constantly planning and doing we ignore the scary truth that is within us. I have always wondered though what would I do if I didn’t have something to work to or look forward to? The reason we work hard is to have nice things and nice times. It doesn’t define me but it really does make you think what’s really important. I am just happy to be with my Bear. He deserves to have a relaxing time away. We love meeting new people and always do when we are in Ibiza.

I think maybe I am nervous. Yes that’s what it is. I am nervous about leaving my nest.. and my kitty and my work and my home comforts .. and my bed............ Is that a bit sad?

 

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Triple Negative

I change like the weather!

by Claire3. September 2013 17:19

I have decided today that despite my negative head that has been lingering for a little while now (I don’t understand it I should be so happy. I am healthy, have so much to be happy about yet still dwell on things. Sometimes I can’t work me out!) That I should try and start making a few changes to make life even better. I am dwindling at a few of the things I should be doing. I am not beating myself up about it but think maybe I should have more control over things and maybe it will keep me focused. I have been doing the same sort of exercise although rotating it for some time now.  The same goes for my morning rituals and my food. I like order but maybe planning things would be better. I have decided that making weekly plans on a Sunday would set me up for the week ahead. I have decided to make a plan of the meals I am to eat during the week. This gives me a chance to experiment and try new things out. Keep it fresh. I will also make a plan for each days exercise. I will do days where I focus mainly on cardio or go for a cycle and another day I will focus purely on weights and so on. I haven’t been doing as much yoga either as I found doing both exercise and yoga was taking too much time in the morning and actually stressing myself out more! Ha ha!

I may even find a yoga class to attend once or twice a week. Maybe that would be good for me. But then I feel the time pressures of having to get there and back. I am a fool to myself. I find things so difficult unless it’s in the comfort of my own home.

I want to schedule doing some art in but then that encroaches on doing work. I can’t schedule everything that would be crazy but I keep forgetting to do things that I love.

I have been feeling a little disconnected recently. I can’t tell whether it’s from being away, feeling odd after having treatment in Germany or if it’s from stopping the anti sickness tablets. All I know is that I want to feel grounded and connected with my spirit. When I’m connected I feel alive and have so much clarity and drive for the future. Today I have felt really within myself again and thought maybe that I spend too much time alone or without talking to someone. When I talk to my clients I forget all my life woes and really enjoy myself. I realised that I actually spend all day without a sound in the house. I don’t play music and don’t have the TV on. So that was it I cranked up some happy disco tunes and did my ironing to them. I felt instantly better. There is a lot to be said about how music affects the soul and uplifts.

I have nothing to be miserable about. I have nothing to worry about. I have to live in the now. Yet I still find my old self dragging me back into the doldrums. It seems so crazy. I have to enjoy now as no one knows what tomorrow brings. I keep thinking it cannot be this easy. I cannot get away with it this lightly. But then I have to adjust myself and think has it really been that easy?! And have I got off lightly at all?! No. I deserve every happiness and the success that comes with it. The old me still thinks I am not doing enough and cuts too many corners. I am not as strict with things like my diet as I have been in the early days but then I was so afraid of everything that I just att greens.

I read yesterday about a guy in Australia who writes a blog and also goes to the same doctor as me in Germany. He also goes to lots of others and lives of a ketogenic diet. It sounds extreme and then started to gt overwhelmed. What if I shold be doing that? A ketogenic diet is where you stop all carbs as they create glucose and we know that glucose is turned into sugar and canSer feeds on sugar. This kind if diet has a high protein element and that includes meats and fats. This is so conflicting to how I feel about diet. I don’t feel eating animal is healthy and eating a more vegan/vegetarian diet with the occasional fish thrown is the way to go. I put so much on diet as I really believe it is completely healing but I obviously don’t put that much into as if I did I would do just the diet thing instead of the conventional treatment and complementary route. I do feel a sense of ‘I’ve had enough’ some days. Not that I want to give but I really don’t know which way to turn. I try to remind myself that I must be doing something right as the canSer has gone from my lymph nodes and it isn’t growing that much which for an aggressive form of canSer is pretty good I think. But I want it all. I want no evidence of disease. I want it to be in remission. And I want to be a miracle! Miracles happen every day, I keep telling myself that. But then I think how hard it is for other people. One lady had to go to John of God six times before her illness went completely. But then I don’t know the facts. Was she having conventional medicine as well? You know I could sit here thinking all day long and still come back full circle.

I went for acupuncture today. The lady I see does fifth element acupuncture. Chinese philosophy recognises five distinct elements of cyclical change called water, wood, fire, earth, and metal. These five elements can be related to our four seasons (with a fifth late summer season). The elements can also be related to different colours, emotion, taste, voice and various organs. These can also be related to the selection of food and herbs. Each person's physical and mental constitution can be described as a balance of the elements in which one or more may naturally dominate. The proportion of the elements in a person determines his or her temperament. Oriental medicine considers the ideal condition as one in which all the five elements are in balance or in harmony. Wood is said to be the mother of fire and the son of water. (Water allows wood to grow, wood provides fuel for the fire). Using these relationships one can describe all possible yin-yang imbalances within the body. The thrust of five element diagnosis is to isolate and treat the imbalanced element, because an imbalanced element is like a weak link in your energetic chain that can undermine the strength of your mind, body and spirit.

At my appointment today I was told that I was either earth or fire. The dominating element is yet to show itself fully as she is still working that out. I am not surprised if it is earth as I often feel out of balance and want to feel grounded.

Mary worked a lot on my digestive system today as I have been feeling out of sync and my appetite hasn’t been normal over the weekend. I desperately want to feel connected to my spirit again and hope that over the next few days I will start to feel like good old me again; full of beans, full of smiles and full of positivity. I don’t suit being subdued. I sparkle when I talk to other people. Maybe it’s the change of the seasons coming I said yesterday that something big feels like it is going to happen and I can’t put my finger on it.

Ever since I have booked to do the nutrition course I have started to worry about getting the work done and have I made a mistake. This is not helped by my state of mind. But maybe it isn't my ego or fear getting in the way. Maybe I am just being practical? I am going to going to Germany for almost two weeks in October for further treatment and there are many things in the pipeline that could potentially trip me up. On the other hand with winter coming it could be good to get myself stuck into something.

So in order to find out if I should postpone I asked the school if I could delay starting if I needed to. They have said that I can start at the end of October, January, March or May. This is great news. I will think about it over the week ahead. We are off on holibobs again. I know it seems like we are having so much fun away all the time but actually we have only had one week away a month ago. I am packed and ready. Just tomorrows clients to do then we are off for a week in the sun and some time to think or not. I’m not sure thinking is good for me!

I already feel so much better and now I have written this I am back to my old self. It's crazy.. I would almost say it's hormonal like.... I am a woman after all! I change like the weather!

 

 

Tags:

Triple Negative

An unsettled weekend and an unsettled me....

by Claire2. September 2013 11:53

 

We decided that we should have some time at home this weekend. So we spent a few days doing garden chores and really just taking our time.
We went out for dinner on Friday night to a local pub which turned out to be ghastly food. Very disappointed and worst of all we felt yuk. Going to bed feeling full and unsatisfied is not good. That put me on a bad foot for the whole weekend with food. I had lovely fresh fruit juices and vegetable smoothies as I always do but I simply did not have an appetite. Normally I am starving but I just didn’t feel like eating. This of course isn’t good as I need food as my medicine. I normally crave foods and can imagine lovely crunchy salads but nothing was doing it for me. Even when Pete made a fresh fish curry full of rustic veggies and tomatoes I was that off my food that I started feeling very shaky and eventually was sick. I’ll say it again... it's so unlike me. Yesterday wasn’t much better. We bought lots of lovely vegan fresh tapas bites but I just didn’t fancy a thing... except a scone with cream and jam! I could have gone without that too but it was calling my name! I know I mustn’t eat sugar or dairy but sometimes even I have to give in. Of course the lack of food this weekend has an impact on my weight. I’ve dropped a few pounds but I think the thing I notice most of all is my mood. I’m lacking something. I feel disconnected from my intuition and I don’t ‘feel’ like I am feeling anything. It’s very odd. I can’t put my finger on it but things feel different at the moment, like changes are coming...

We had two lovely morning lay ins and I didn’t get up till nearly eaten am yesterday! That’s like 12 hours in bed! It wasn’t all spent sleeping though. Peter spent many hours reading in the night and has been feeling unsettled. He has been giving me so much love and at night he whispers how much he loves me and squeezes me tight. I know all this is so hard on him and we do talk about how confused we are with life. We know that it’s all about love but it’s sad to think that one day one of us will be without the other. It just doesn’t seem fair. It poses that question, what is life all about? It doesn’t bare thinking about really and now is all that is important. I know all this, yet it still seems to be lingering in the air. We both feel like something big is about to happen and have been feeding each other’s energy all weekend. Despite having a great time together we both seemed so unsettled. It’s as if we haven’t got anything major planned we are both very aloof. I normally love just milling about and yesterday ended up being a great day. We ventured over to Witney and bumped into our friends briefly, who always cheer us up. Thenwe did a spot of retail shopping buying things like a mixing bowl and measuring cups for cooking (I will be making something very soon I know it!) as well as few items for my next holiday. (I know, I know I shouldn’t but let’s work on one thing at a time!) We then made our way to Millets Farm. To our surprise they had a chilli fiesta on. There were many stands with something containing chilli such as plants, jams, chutneys, beers, sauces,  jewellery and the list goes on. Pete was in heaven trying out samples. I, thankfully, am not eating chilli at present ever since my distant healing with john of God. It says in the notes that I shouldn’t have chilli for forty days... um ok then!
The reason for our visit to the farm to was to stock up on frozen berries for my morning smoothies. It gets very expensive buying fresh fruit and eating them within a certain time so that they do not go off. Having frozen berries means they last longer, are fresher and are lovely and cold which is perfect for cooling smoothies without the need for ice. I bought blueberries, strawberries and raspberries. All considered super foods and full of antioxidants.

On arriving home I started getting myself ready for our holiday later this week. I did my toenails and waxing and started dragging everything out of my wardrobe.

I finished reading Spirit Junkie by Gabby Bernstein this weekend too. I really understood her lessons and can take a lot from it. I understand when I am feeling negative that it is my ego butting in and trying to make me dwell on the past and fear the future. Sometimes I simply cannot believe that I am so well and my ego creeps in and tries to drag me down and become miserable again. I am this lucky because I love myself and work hard at being well I deserve to feel better so I have to keep reminding myself that it doesn’t all have to end in misery. I don’t have to be another statistic.

Whilst lying awake at night the mind plays silly games. All our fears and worries are escalated and that’s what happened to Pete and I this weekend. We even started doubting the treatment I receive from Germany. We started wondering why is it that now I am going to have the gamma delta cell treatment. Does it mean that the dendritic cell treatment hasn’t worked. Or does it simply mean it’s the next step? Could I still be this well if I didn't have the treatments and simply had chemo on its own? I guess the only way to know would be if I gave the foreign treatment a miss for some time and see what happens. But neither of us is willing to do that. The last thing we want is for canSer to take a hold.

I have spent my last minutes before sleep and sometimes when I awake praying to Dr Jose Valdevino, the entity that John of God said would heal me. I have had a few odd pictures come to my mind when praying, such as men’s faces. I hope that he is helping me and that on my next scan, which will be a few months away, that the tumour are gone. I can but hope because, that’s all there is.

I have also been working on visualisations. I still see lots of mini me’s hoovering the tumours and the lymph nodes being polished so they are shiny. I try to see nothing there but then I would simply stop hoovering so I figure it’s best to keep imagining me sucking them up. I have a very powerful Dyson!

After I have finished work today I am going to have reflexology. Ahhh I can’t wait. I have had quite an upset stomach today. No need for a coffee enema. I haven’t had one for about three weeks now. No need when I have a tummy like this. I need to be kind to myself and I need to reconnect. I have so much to be happy for and I have to keep reminding myself of this. Onwards and upwards.....

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Triple Negative

Whats the Universe got in store for me?

by Claire30. August 2013 11:35

 

I have been having a lovely week with clients. I really love my job and I can’t seem to get enough. I have however had a few cancellations this week that has left my diary gappy. I normally see this as an opportunity to fit other things in. Usually it happens when I just need it for example if I am feeling unwell, tired or am trying to squeeze in other things. The Universe usually sorts things out for me one way or another. I was unsure why I was being given the time this week though. I figured it was so I could get my homework done. Yes, homework even before starting my nutrition course! Well I have ploughed through it and am ready to get going on the course, starting in a few weeks. I am yet to receive my pack though. I’m excited and nervous all at the same time. I wonder if I have bitten off more than I can chew? Time will tell I guess.

I have had some great night’s sleep this week and I love my bed. I never want to get up. I have spent some time in the early hours when waking to visualise.  My visualisations have changed again. I now see many mini mes' inside working on each individual tumour in my lungs and one in my lymph nodes. I am using a powerful hoover to suck up the canSer cells and the tumours finally disappear. The canSer cells are grey and floppy. I then see big strong cells bowling around guarding the area to ensure no canSer cells come back. I see myself polishing the lymph nodes and making sure no more canSer cells get stuck to them and turn on a tap to ensure they are working properly. Bizarre, I know!

I have noticed that I feel really sleepy soon after taking my chemo drugs and think that it could be the anti sickness medication. So I have taken the plunge and stopped taking the anti sickness drug. A bit risky I know but I thought as I take the chemo drugs with food I should be ok. So far, so good. I haven’t experienced any sickness and the way I see it the less my body has to try and process, the better.

Today I have a few clients and then I’m off to have my nails done. My treat to myself. This weekend looks pretty good weather wise but I have plenty of things to be getting on with. One thing I really want to get back into is doing some artwork. It’s been ages since I used my ipad and did some scribbles. I feel like I have a mental block with what to draw. I want a theme to work to. Hmmm must get thinking and be more creative?

 

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Triple Negative

Dr Jose Valdevino is healing me....

by Claire28. August 2013 16:37

 

Yesterday I went to hospital for my blood tests...This day comes up so quickly. I started chemo this morning after finding out that my blood cell count looks fine and so does my bio chemistry. Good news. I was a little worried that it may not be after last week’s illness. So another course of chemo... of which number round it is I cannot remember...

Pete however isn’t well. Nor are his colleagues that did the Spartan race. They have all come down with sickness and diarrhoea and it now makes me wonder what was in that muddy water that they have all clearly ingested! Yuk! It doesn’t seem fair after having gone to so much effort for charity to then be ill. Poor things. I hope they all feel better really soon.

I received an email from Adrienne the guide from the Casa in Brazil last night with my results of the distant healing. My photograph was passed by John of God in entity.  It was Dr. Jose Valdevino, he is known as the compassionate father of the house.  I am still being treated, the healing is very powerful and the entities have different ways of doing the work. This is exciting! I like the fact it is still working and that it will continue to for 55 days. I guess there is no way of knowing until I have a scan?!

Today I have been ultra tired weird considering I had a really long sleep last night. Pete wonders if I am fighting something also. But today has been a bit of an odd day. I have had some clients with gaps in between so have been working on some pre course work for the nutrition course.

Digressing slightly I just wanted to let you all know about the lovely juice bar in Brighton that I went to last weekend. It has just opened and is called Juice People. Here are some shots of the shop and their blackboard with a choice of juices on. If you are ever down that way you must try it out!

   

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