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A good weekend for British winners!

by Claire8. July 2013 11:24

 

This weekend has been a delight. Not only did I have the Bear back but we had sunshine... lots of it including high temperatures as well as many sporting successes for Britain... The British and Irish Lions won against Australia; the first time in 14 years and Andy Murray won Wimbledon! Come on! It feels so good and is such a lift to everyone in the nation. We needed a pick me up and wow how moving.... I think everyone found a way to watch tennis in their gardens yesterday. Ha ha! We did. We rigged up our TV outside and watched whilst we sunbathed and paddled in the paddling pool... brilliant weekend.

The weekend was full of love and the Bear looking after me; feeding me well. It is nice to be back home and getting into my routine again.

I started this week with a strong yoga session. I am now shaking and I don’t think I can lift my arms! Ha ha! Back to work today too. I don’t mind missing some of the sunshine. I think I have had plenty in the last few days and by the looks of me I look like I have been abroad for a fortnight!

The heat does have some down sides. It’s very stifling at night and Pete and I didn’t get any sleep last night. I think an early night is in order. I also think maybe I should have a detox bath and use some Epsom salts and oils to really balance myself.

I’m off to meet a new acupuncturist tomorrow. Closer to where I live and been highly recommended so I’m looking forward to feeling really balanced again.

I had an email from HD brows head office on Friday informing me that they are making me an HD brows ambassador! I don’t really have to anything other than what I already do. I spread the word and get other ladies involved in it too. Yay! Lucky me!

 

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Triple Negative

Research me! I'm a living breathing medical trial.....

by Claire5. July 2013 11:15

 

Had the sad news today that Bernie Nolan has died from Breast canSer. It makes it really hard when a household name dies so young. I hope she fell asleep peacefully. Thoughts and prayers go out to her family.

I got to meet Ellie Copson today who is featured on the specialist consultant’s page. She is a senior oncologist at Southampton Hospital. I have been in touch with her th9ourhg my sister since I was diagnosed with metastasis last July. She was kind enough for me to meet her and discuss my options as they stand. I have concerned with being on chemo for so long and she did things are working and the canSer is stable that she would personally if I were her patient let me more lenient on the time in between chemo cycles maybe extending the break from one to two weeks., especially as I have been on for it more than 6 months.

She said the difficulty in that they have little evidence of patients on immunotherapy so can only base their plan on what they know which is chemo. Obviously chemo strips the bone marrow so it isn’t ideal. The other problem is  if I was to take a longer break of say a few months off chemo is that it could be when I start it again it wouldn’t work any longer. Now I believe that there are no definite answers and they really don’t have evidence of any of the outcomes.

Ellie spoke about some young patients just like me that look really well and are living life to the full. This does make me wonder how many of her patients has she had that are still living years on with a stable disease or maybe no sign of disease? Or have they in fact all died?

There never seems to a finite answer and it does always seem that there is an underlying thing that I will almost certainly die from this disease eventually. God I want to talk or even see someone that is living well ten years on from their diagnosis of terminal disease! I can’t believe that they have all died? Where are they?

Ellie was very kind to me and has said any time I have any questions that I can ask. I pray that my body doesn’t give in and that all that I am doing will win this battle. I am a living breathing medical trial.

I think that if I continue to have good scans and they come back being clear one day that I will have to risk stopping chemo. When I mention the drugs and the reishi I am on, Ellis just looked bewildered. It’s so far out there for a scientist to understand. She is currently researching how breast canSer in young woman especially obese women don’t survive or at least cope as well as those whom are a healthy weight and lifestyle. They are now admitting lifestyle is a factor in treating the disease.

I want to offer myself as a trial for her. Research me!

Anyway hoe today to see my bear. I’m so excited and I’m thrilled we are going to be having a heat wave. Tra la la!

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Triple Negative

You can conquer canSer

by Claire4. July 2013 14:45

Yesterday I took mum to have a pair of eyebrows tattooed on! Sounds extreme but is a real boost for the self esteem for those who have no eyebrow hairs.

After that we decided to be ladies what lunch and then had a lovely walk along the beach. The weather has stayed dry but not sunny. Can't complain. I am missing Pete terribly but it's nice to be here. 

I have had plenty of time thread and finally finished my book, You can conquer cancer. I really feel my ten point plan is so similar to his program. He focusses a lot on meditation and recommends that idiot two to three times daily for up to an hour at a time!  I'm not sure  I can manage that but I do feel working harder at it as it is very healing.

He mentions in his book that he feels close loved ones should also adopt a few elements such as meditation, exercise and diet.  It helps them become more aware, go through the process of healing and be more grateful too. I like this. I think I'm going to try and get Pete to be more involved and make positive changes. He needs peace too. I think doing a guided meditation would help someone just starting out. Deepak Chopra is a good starting point. I am going to try out some of Ian Gawlers mediation CDs too.

Ian Gawler writes summary points of what to do enhance treatments and surgery:

Mental preparation:

After choosing your plan of treatment commit and prepare mentally. This will help with side effects, maximise the benefits and make the whole experience meaningful. Aim to create a healing environment physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Step2- immediate practicalities:

Eat well-Choose a healing diet. Keep fluids up include juices and smoothies.             

Exercise regularly at least 20-30 minutes per day. Minimum of 4 times per week.

Meditate daily.

Use imagery- white light or visualisations especially when receiving treatment

Supplements

Support your bowel using probiotics.

Check your vitamin d levels regularly.

Emotional preparation:

Be authentic

Communicate

Practise gratitude

Spiritual preparation:

Generate acceptance

Make time for big questions. Contemplate the meaning of life and what life is all about.

I think it all sounds like sound advice and a really great place to start by covering so many elements.

I have now started reading The Power of now by Eckhart Tolle. It's a bit heavy duty but I hope to get a feel for it soon.

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Triple Negative

Surely it's not been a year already!?

by Claire3. July 2013 15:23

Today is a monumental day for me and my Bear. It's a year today we got the tragic news that I had incurable canSer. A year...Already! Oh my..    

For me it feels like only yesterday but also a lifetime ago. I can vividly remember being at hospital then calling Pete. I remember the panic, the sadness and the look in Pete's eyes when he came in from work beside himself. It's weird I'm not holding onto that day and those memories so that I can relive them or be a victim. I want to let it all go so that I can move on. I don't blame anyone, most of all I don't blame myself. It is a distant memory and a time and date that year on year forever more I will look back and think that was the day my life changed forever. Strange then you'd think it would have been when I was told I had canSer first time round three years ago, but no. That day I didn't go home and think my life will never be the same again- for the better

This day last year was the day I came alive and woke up from my slumber of a life. Took the bull by the horns, picked myself up and dusted myself off. But if it sounds like I'm gung ho and strong I'm not. Without Pete, my Bear, my One then I am certain I wouldn't be sat here now blogging.

 He is my inspiriation, my drive, my reason for living. He gives me strength every day. He brightens my world and gives me hope. And what would life be without hope?

Then there's everyone reading this including my mum, friends, family, friends of friends and complete strangers who have given me the passion to keep going. It's amazing how small simple comments, emails and entries on the visitors page make such a difference. Just knowing people want to know what's going on in my life, feelings, in my head and heart, inspires me daily. I want to thank everyone because without them, you I wouldn't be as healthy (as I can be) and happy.

I live a life without regret, blame, sadness and fill it with a future, hope, happiness and gratitude.

 My health is better now than a year ago. The canSer is apparently still there but when it got worse last year I have batted it back and I believe that I am in a stronger position than that fateful day.

There have been many dark hours and days and who knows whats yet to come? But that's how exciting life is!

Ive had a year of opening my eyes, heart and soul. And so has Pete. I've learned about the need for a less acidic life physically and emotionally. I practise yoga, exercise regularly, take supplements, medicinal mushrooms, travel to Germany for immunotherapy and use heat and air daily. I have rekindled my love of drawing and getting back to work. I have had huge success selling wish bracelets for charity and been a lingerie model for the day. The most memorable thing is the kindness I have experienced and love from absolutely everyone. I hope I've helped teach people with my words and that I can offer some help to anyone who wants to improve their life and comfort to those in a similar situation.

So the last thing to say is Thank you!

 

 I'm still away at Mum's house and hope my Bear can wait just a little while longer for a big old' squeeze on my return.. Not long now.  Mmwwaaahhhhhhh! Xxx

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Triple Negative

Lost without my Bear....

by Claire2. July 2013 16:46

I have caught up on my sleep... Ten hours! Woohoo! Started the day doing meditation and yoga with mum. Followed by a green smoothie.... But then I got tired again. I can't decide if it's because of chemo or because I am out of my comfort zone and doing my daily rituals at home. I feel a bit lost. It's weird how I feel so lost when I am not with my One. He woke me up this morning on his way to work with my morning call. Morning! I don't think I would have woken up otherwise!

The day has been spent doing what I do best..... Shopping! (don't worry Bear I haven't spent much! Not a Karen Millen in sight!) it's bizarre how I even enjoy looking round DIY stores! Ha ha!

Off out to dinner with my mum and sister tonight so that should be nice..... Then back to bed again. Yay! I can try out my new pyjamas..... :)

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Triple Negative

Death comes to us all.....

by Claire1. July 2013 16:31

Had a terrible night sleep. bear was poorly and it was ultra hot. Such a shame too as it was my last night with the Bear for a few days as I'm visiting mum in Dorset. We didn't get to see each other on my birthday and it's hers this week. We always have such a lovely time together. As per we got stuck in doing jobs as soon as I arrived! This afternoon we did a spot of gardening and then chilled reading for an hour. Mum is always keen to eat like me when I am down so this evening we had a plate of veg! Sounds basic but that's essentially what we had. I really feel the need to eat well as I feel I've been polluting my body. The problem is I constantly feel like I want to celebrate or have a treat! I need the switch in my head to go so that I become really strong and focused. I need will power.I need to stop wanting treats and realise that giving myself pure foods is giving myself pure foods is giving myself a treat. It goes back to Kris Carrs' theory that sugar and white starchy carbs are like crack cocaine! So addictive. I think I'm a bit hard on myself though...I just know I could be better.

Ive been reading about death- facing it, preparing for it and dealing with it. I'm trying to understand that death doesn't have to be something we are afraid of. By dealing with those thoughts make life even more exciting and worth living. I want to feel calm about it. I think if I dealt with the fact that we all di eventually and that there could be something very blissful and exciting ahead of us then I could let it go. No need to expel thoughts, fears or worries in it. I'm starting to get it. I'm afraid of there being nothing. And fear of never seeing or feeling my loved ones again. I don't want to be without them...or be alone and scared. It gives me more drive to be alive and to to accept and prepare fro death mentally and spiritually. Bear isn't afraid. He's so sensible. I miss him. I know he misses me. :)

 

Xx

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Triple Negative

CanSer doesn't own me.......

by Claire30. June 2013 12:28

 Happy Sunday! We’ve been having a lovely weekend with my Pete's youngest son and luckily for us the sun has come out to play too! We did a spot of retail therapy yesterday followed by sunbathing in the back garden. Bliss. The evening followed with good food and a movie then off to bed for a very hot night. It’s unusual to have such humid weather here in the UK (I’m not complaining). I slept like a log although a bit disturbed right through till 8am again this morning. I’m sure I wouldn’t wake till ten am if Pete didn’t get up!

There have been lots of Google alerts on some research found for triple negative over the last few days. It seems there is an enzyme called CD73 which makes breast cancer more resistant to anthracycline chemotherapy, a treatment that works by killing tumour cells and activating the body’s anti-tumour immune response.

More importantly, the study revealed that over expression of CD73 stops the body’s immune system from responding to cancer. Additionally, elevated levels of CD73 bring about a higher risk of distant metastases, the principal cause of death in patients with breast cancer.

By examining its effect on laboratory animals, Dr. Stagg’s team discovered that the combination of anthracycline and anti-CD73 therapies prolonged survival by over 50 per cent. However researchers have to investigate further to see whether or not anti-CD73 treatments are effective with other chemotherapy treatments. Human trials of CD73 inhibitors may begin within as little as five years, bringing hope to the thousands of women and men battling breast cancer presently and in the future.

This research was jointly led by Professor Mark Smyth of The Queensland Institute of Medical Research, Australia, and was funded by the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, the Cancer Research Society, the National Health and Medical Research Council (NH&MRC) of Australia and the Susan G. Komen Foundation, USA.

This is exciting news as it seems this keeps coming up in the news.

 Also a lady who has been reading my blogs has contacted me regarding dendritic cell therapy and some info she has found online from an Australian company.

"In order to make a dendritic cell therapy vaccine, tumour associated antigen needs to be obtained. This can be either from a biopsy of the tumour or part of a specimen removed at operation. Or, it can be obtained from the urine during any treatment programme, which destroys tumour cells, such as chemotherapy, or in our case at our clinic, we use high dose intravenous vitamin C and Ukrain (Chelidonium Majus and
Thiotepa).
 
In conventional chemotherapy maximal tumour cell death occurs from one day to six days after a chemotherapeutic dose. It is during the first two days of this that the patient is instructed to save their urine and by a special filtration process saving molecules of a particular molecular weight, we are able to isolate tumour antigen specific to that particular patient and use this in order to make a dendritic cell therapy vaccine."
 
"Therefore I would advise any patient following a conventional treatment programme, to save the urine and deep freeze it during the time of maximal tumour cell destruction and to look into having a dendritic cell therapy vaccine made, as this lessens the chance by
approximately 50%, of tumour recurrence. Just stimulating the immune system is too crude, in dendritic vaccines you stimulate the immune system to recognise specific tumour associated antigens, that is the key. General immuno-activation may not work. It has to be specific against that particular tumour, in that particular patient."

I will ask Dr Nesselhut what his thoughts on this are in due course. I am sure Dr Nesselhut knows what he is doing but it’s always worth asking.

How do I feel today? Good... I have been considering my daily routine with the diet and exercise and everything else and wonder if it’s something I can continue forever? I think the motivation for it is there but keeping it up is another thing. I like change and the feeling of growing and improving myself and wonder if doing this is enough?

Am I missing anything or is my body getting used to it and therefore not responding as well?

I have adapted my morning juice as mentioned before to get the best of both worlds of juicing and smoothing. I am going to call my Smoouice! Ha ha! I can’t stomach having powders in my juice so I have been juicing cucumber, ginger and celery then adding that juice to the blender with spinach and avocado with flaxseed and my other powders. It looks good and taste pretty good too. I think this is a good compromise and since I have been doing it I haven’t had an upset stomach. Phew.

Sometimes I think I just want a break from it all. But I can’t stop now. I still have fleeting thoughts of what’s round the corner and keep reading that stage 4 triple negative survivors are living longer but not going into remission. Maybe there are some out there but I am guessing they don’t bother going online telling people about it once they have become well. I don’t blame them. Living and breathing canSer is consuming. I’m lucky as I don’t feel ill and I don’t worry like I used to but I cannot believe it has almost been a year since the day they told me it is ‘incurable’. Pah. I still think it. How can they know with all the treatment that I am having that I will not be cured one day?  But that’s the thing with canSer. Are you ever cured?

I have just read on my visitor’s page a lady who has got secondary canSer ten years after having breast canSer. That sucks... but I guess it’s a constant reminder that you never know what’s round the corner. All I know is that I don’t want this illness any more. I don’t want to live on red alert and always wondering if I am going to be well in six months time.

I suppose I am in control of all of that. CanSer doesn’t own me I own it and as far as I am concerned it has lost the battle and I fight to live another day better than the last. So there!
 

 

 

 

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Triple Negative

New development; Dendritic cells primed with tumour cells... the way forward?

by Claire28. June 2013 15:05

 

Back up the hospital today having my bloods taken in preparation for my next cycle of chemo. Exercise was hard this morning but at least I am having good amounts of sleep! Luckily everything went my way today. Despite there being a car accident I sailed through the traffic, was seen almost immediately and then went to the pharmacy thinking I would be waiting for the usual hour for my drugs to be prepared but NO... they actually had them ready for me. Sealed

I should have started taking chemo on Wednesday but as we were away I couldn’t have a blood test .I am not overly concerned about it and I think I will start after the weekend. I’m not going to have the full two week cycle either this time. I’m being a bit cheeky but it will give me a little extra time to recover I feel.

I called the radiology department when I got home and talked about having my ct scan moved to August instead of July.  They were reluctant to do it as the doctor had recommended it but I explained that I have them every three months and there is no reason why I should have it any sooner I feel. She agreed and we have moved it to when I get back from a week in Spain... That’s something to look forward to then!

I bumped into a friend at the hospital who has just been diagnosed with canSer. I feel gutted for them. Such a nice person and it makes you realise that canSer really does strike anyone. I hope to be able to impart some comfort by sharing my knowledge but also by being me. I figure if I look well it keeps other people positive and maybe it will give them the focus and energy to have a brighter outlook on their own situation. It does make me think though, why does it happen to such nice people? But that’s life I guess. One learns from these life experiences. I could do without it to be honest but let’s face it it has been the making of me. I’m so much more grateful and thankful now for the life that I have been given. I work hard; I play hard and love even harder! Ha ha!

A lady who has been reading my blog emailed me some really interesting information this morning. It is an article on how doctors in the U.S have been using patients own tumours cells to prime their dendritic cells in order for the body to fight back and kill the canSer. I knew vaccinations would become more popular. This just proves it. I sadly cannot have this kind of treatment as I cannot have a biopsy but there’s hope for many others! We are getting ever closer I am sure of it.

Here take a read;
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3278117/pdf/bh0803031.pdf

 

This weekend we have Pete’s youngest coming to stay. So a weekend of rugby, cricket and any other kind of sport I am sure!

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Triple Negative

Back from our exciting European tour...

by Claire27. June 2013 16:01

 This is the longest I haven’t blogged before but it has been a busy week. Having friends over last Thursday our little trip and ‘holiday’ started with a lovely meal that evening. Friday morning we had a really early start to the Eurotunnel hoping to hop on an earlier train. Sadly it was ultra busy and we didn’t get to France until about lunch time. We decided this time for our visit to Germany for my treatment that our friends could come too and we could make a little ‘holiday' out of it. Of course the trip took many hours in the car and I was happy for someone else to be navigating!

We had a day in Brugge where we took a horse and cart ride and climbed hundreds of steps up the clock tower, ate chips and mayonnaise (apparently that’s important in Brugge) and drooled over Belgian chocolate!

The next day we drove to Reims the champagne region in France. Here we went to the Notre Dame cathedral and took a champagne cave tour... oh and drank champagne!

The day after we took a long journey into Germany and stopped in Heidelberg a bustling touristic town and had a break in the sun (albeit fleeting) then we cracked on our way to Duderstadt where we would be for the next few nights. There was a small hiccup as the hotel didn’t have our bookings but luckily they had two rooms for us... phew...

During all of this there was plenty of banter and many laughs. Pete seemed so happy touring around and didn’t once get tired... bless him.  During our visit to Duderstadt we showed our friends around the local town and we made use of the spa... bliss. We travelled to the Harz Mountains, ate German sausage and went back to the river that Pete and I found last August. It seemed different though this time. It was incredibly peaceful with little movement and very little water. Many rocks were exposed so we decided to climb across them and have a little explore. It was here that all the excitement started. I noticed that another part of the river seemed much more energetic than where we were and then I noticed that it had gotten really noisy where were standing.. Thinking nothing much of it we heard someone shout from above but didn’t understand what he said. Then Pete noticed that water was rising and that the channels we had crossed were filling up! Making a dash for it across slippery rocks we made our way back to safety but only just. Pete got a little caught up in it and wanted to save the camera rather than himself! It was exhilarating but scary at the same time! Right before our eyes the river started to fill up. Then the rain came and we got soaked. It was moving being back there again after the year we have had... Pete and I had a cuddle and soaked up the atmosphere of our little special place.

Treatment went well as usual. Dr Nesselhut senior was on vacation so we saw his son Jan this time. He said that since I have been having two injections each time they will run out of my cells and serum to use after my next trip there. Because they hadn’t planned in advance I couldn’t provide any new serum there and then as they needed to do a hepatitis blood test again therefore I have to pay an extra 300 Euros for a donor serum. There are pros to this apparently. It seems by having a donor serum means they have different antibodies which could be very effective when trying to fight infection and of course canSer inside.

I have booked for August as I will now be going Bi monthly. They advised against monthly as this could over stimulate the cells in my body therefore creating canSer and seeing as it is working bi monthly is the way forward then this may be reduced to every three months. They have advised me that I am to provide more cells when I go back in October. This means that I am to have leukapheresis (remove all my white blood cells) all over again. Now I know what to expect I am little nervous! But I have plenty of time before that.

After our two days in Duderstadt we made our long journey back. We stopped off in Brussels the night before last and that should have been a lovely little evening in the city checking out their nightlife. The traffic however had different plans. Our seven hour journey ending up taking eight hours and all of us left feeling very fractious when our sat nav kept changing its mind. Sally Sat nag as I call her let us down... I was actually shaking with stress from it and Pete’s head was going to explode. Luckily for us Pete has a natural homing pigeon programmed into him and found his way round the city despite Sally Sat Nag.

We have driven something like 2000 miles in five days. I felt a bit bad for our friends who were really looking forward to a relaxing time away... I guess it was in many respects... sat in our car driving across Europe! We certainly squeezed a lot into a few days and it was a lot of fun.

I also made the most of our time away by breaking my dietary rules. I ate meat, I ate sweets and cakes and drank alcohol and as fun as it was at the time I feel rough. I did eat plenty of garlic though as mentioned in my previous post. This pleased everyone in the car for the last five days! Ha ha! My tummy has been in a state and I was so pleased to be back on my juice this morning. Yesterday we went shopping and bought a trolley full of veg.... mmmm. Oxygen rich foods that will cleanse my polluted body which has clearly put on weight.

Once we got home we got our lives back in order and Pete is now back at work and I have been back working with my clients. I love normality and I love coming home. Kitty has been ultra affectionate too. Leaving her with Aunty Sarah must be making her feel loved and safe. Normally the cat can be very feisty and weird on our return but she sat with me this morning during meditation, yoga, exercise and whilst I was having my heat and air. Bless her.

I have been feeling mentally a bit weak recently. I am happy and positive but I have been having confused thoughts too. What I want is to be told that I can be canSer free. I know it shouldn’t matter if it’s said to me or not as it’s up to me to keep that thought process but I guess I feel a bit beaten at times when doctors simply say that once canSer has spread from its primary site to other parts of the body it is incurable. I just find it hard to believe. I have read so many stories of those that have done just that; had incurable canSer and no longer have any sign of it in their bodies. I don’t know why it’s bothering me now though. I want to feel that I have a future and can plan my life for many many years.... I know it doesn’t matter as no one knows what tomorrow may bring but for all those with children you plan your life to bring them up and give them the best life you can. You never imagine that you may not be there for them one day. Life isn’t like that. I want to be living for 40, 50 more years well and happy. Its pointless thoughts but never the less I am not in the position that I was two years ago when I had the chance at being fully canSer free...supposedly.

It makes for planning your life and what you want from it so hard. Everyone rests easily or in ignorance that they will have their retirement plan and wherever they want to be all planned out. Most of the time I am like that now but I feel the nagging knowledge that at my next scan everything could be different. Pete just says to enjoy now and not think about anything else but my life has always been about the next thing otherwise what do you do you every day? What’s the point of working and doing courses if you live day to day? I think I need to work on my head and what really makes me happy. Maybe I am forgetting to be thankful and grateful and just really happy to be alive and well right now. I get a bit lost not having any major plans. And always being good and thinking about my diet and making sure I exercise although being really good for me sometimes I just want to forget it all. Just for a fleeting moment. What I need to do is actually just forget that I have a chronic disease. It’s by someone telling me that I have it that I know about it. Ignorance is bliss and it would be so good to not know....sometimes...... I need to read some positive books. Hey ho.....

I have had the loveliest clients in today. They have all given me such a big kiss and cuddle. I feel very loved. It makes everyhting semm worthwhile.SmileI can't wait for my Bear to come home. More cuddles. X

 

 

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Triple Negative

Hit the road Jack!

by Claire20. June 2013 15:07

 

I have had a great start to the day today. I’m not sure why some days are better than others but I had a real smile on my face. It may be because I have found a new way to have my essential juice and powders in the mornings without dreading them. As mentioned I always have vegetable juices as they are best for me and full of oxygen which is essential in my diet. The trouble is adding powders such as wheatgrass and Dr Schulz’s super food and linseed makes me want to wretch. Include that with my supplements and reishi well I am in a state some days, especially the last week or so. My tummy has been really struggling with it all and I have either had a major urge to rush to the loo for urgent number two’s or I have had a tummy ache. I know this means my body simply cannot hack it at the moment. Any signs like that and I am sure it’s not good for anyone!

So this morning I decided that I would have a veggie smoothie instead of juice. I find smoothies don’t make me cringe as much. The reason I go for juice is they are much better than smoothies but smoothies are still really good as alternative. But then I had an epiphany... why not add green juice to my green smoothie and have the best of both worlds/!

I always have to add some kind of liquid to the smoothie or else it will be lumpy and hard... so the anme smoothie wouldn’t be relelvant at all. So today I juiced up lots celery (which tastes bad in smoothies) cucumber and ginger and added it to my smoohtie. So this morning I had a jam packed breakfast full of everything green; avocado, spinach, celery, cucumber and ginger (ok not green but a must!) Genius... not sure why I hadn’t thought of it before... Now I am on a roll. This put me in a good mood.

I’ve registered on the Macmillan forum today. There were entries from other ladies like me who are terminal and all sorts of chemo’s all wanting advice. I thought if I shared my story then they may be inspired to read my website and possibly take something from it. That’s how I feel today... I want to inspire people.

So feeling all positive (a bit more than normal) I thought I’d text Nilam (founder of HD brows) and ask her what course she thinks I would benefit from next. I know she invited me to train but I think doing courses is good practice and really keeps you at the top of your game. Her husband, also Pete, replied on her behalf and has given me details. So without any thought I have booked for July for one of the courses then I will book for the master’s course in September. I love my job and I love doing brows. I want to be the best that I can be.  I’m still getting enquiries from new clients so I’m feeling really lucky.

I’ve been making a list of things I need to focus on more as I feel things are slipping recently. Here’s the list;

Eat more garlic and turmeric. This is essential and I don’t think I am consuming enough of the good stuff.

Try new vegan recipes out and post on my blog. Here’s a start; http://www.takepart.com/photos/meatless-mondays?cmpid=tp-ptnr-kriscarr

Draw a picture every week. I haven’t done one in a while and I really get a lot from it.

Pranic healing. Book for regular sessions and see if this benefits me.

That’s it so far.. I have had a nagging feeling of wanting all this canSer stuff to be gone today. I just want to live my life without thinking about whether I will be well enough or will chemo get in the way etc. But then I read some posts on the forum and read what I already know. Incurable canSer is just like any other chronic disease. Living every day like this isn’t so bad... at least I’m well.

Right well I'm packed for my next trip to see Doctor Nesselhut.. Here we come. Luckily my kitty has a lovely 'kitty sitter' to take care of her and eat my home grown strawberries. Be back in five days. Hopefully I'll get time to post whilst I am away. Love going a driving tour with my Bear... XXX

Ta'ra! X

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