It's always good to have more options....

by Claire25. September 2013 17:11


Today has been another lovely day. Another filled with great TV, The Great British bake off being one of them. It makes me laugh that under no circumstances can I eat the bakes but I do love to watch them create! Another lengthy night’s sleep and the reluctance to live my wonderful bed but it has been another good day. My days do not have to be filled with experiences for them to be good. I simply like to potter. Prepare meals, organise bits and bobs, clean the house and sort through photographs as well as clients tucked in between.

I have been replying to a few forums offering my advice and experience to other triple negative survivors and have come across a doctor whom I have heard a lot of recently. His name is Prof Dr Vogl. Another German doctor who has a clinic in Hallwang near Frankfurt. He specialises in radiology in particular transarterial chemoperfusion or TPCE. I know sounds ‘out there’ right?

The long and short of it is this; It is where under local anaesthetic catheters are passed into the tumour, in my case, my lungs and a large dose of chemotherapy can be applied directly into the tumours. It is apparently far more effective than giving the whole body chemotherapy because you can a0 use a much higher dose as it is localised and b0 it doesn’t leave bad side effects and c0 can be done as an outpatient. Also he can stop the flow of blood to the tumours therefore making them die. Of course this isn’t a cure for canSer but can obviously elongate a patient’s life. I thought to myself it was worth investigating and found an email address to the Prof. So I emailed him. And within an hour I had a reply with him explaining that he could offer me the treatment depending on my CT scans. Well, well, well... this does give me options. I am intrigued and following my next Germany visit if my CT scan doesn’t look as I had hoped then I think I will send him a copy and see what his thoughts are.

So another option... it; s always good to have more options... Germany seems to be rocking great treatment.

I saw this inspiring article online earlier today that I thought I would share with you...
15 wildly successful people who overcame huge obstacles to there. Kris Carr is one of them J





In the Mood....

by Claire24. September 2013 14:52

 I had the weirdest night last night. We went to bed nice and early in order to catch up on much needed sleep. Well that’s Pete who needed it really but you know me always need more! But I couldn’t sleep and didn’t until about 2am.

Whilst lying there the moon poured in through the clouds and I thanked the Universe for everything as normal. I then began visualising. I imagined the lymph nodes being polished and scrubbed to keep them clear. I thought of blue force fields around all other parts of my body so that do not get infected and I imagined me using a really cool Dyson hoover with a really strong pipe nozzle to suck up each and every entire tumour. It’s the first time I have actually seen the whole thing be sucked up and fully removed. Whilst all this was going on I had such warmth in different areas of my chest and back. So much so it was throbbing. First of all I thought it was me perhaps making it happen. But when I got up to go to the bathroom it was really thudding. I couldn’t help but think that maybe I was being healed by someone else, maybe John of God still? I felt really positive about it. I hope that when it the CT scan comes round my feelings are right.

I was reading an article in my therapist magazine yesterday and they have a feature on a lady called Patricia Peat who was an oncology nurse before starting her own business in helping canSer patients with treatment and advice. She helps advice on all aspects of treatments from orthodox to complementary. Some of the information she provided for the article was very in depth therefore I have decided to email her and see if she has any nuggets of advice or treatments that may help me. I am guessing she must know the cutting edge treatments and who provides them. This could be really helpful for not only me but for the other ladies that have been contacting me.

I saw a notification on Google from someone trying to find out what treatments are available to stage four triple negative cancer patients. The message seemed so strained that I couldn’t not help. So I have registered with the forum and given my details and offered my assistance where possible. If I am doing so well surely I can help someone else.

Today has been lovely so far. I dragged myself out of body nice and early to go to an acupuncture appointment. I try to keep all appointments to the afternoon however today was different. I was advised by my acupuncturist that today I had to have it as a morning appointment due to the five elements. This time of year is the Earth element and on this day at 10.30am. By working specific points related to the Earth element balances and nourishes that particular element. Mary called it a 'harari' or seasonal treatment. I felt incredibly sleepy whilst having the treatment and I am pleased I haven’t had any clients booked for today so that I can take it easy and let it do it’s thang!

You'll be please dot know I have got over my grumpyness from yesterday. I have adjusted my mood and now feel totally at ease with starting the nutrition course at the end of October. Sealed

So to use my time wisely and plan for the future I have made some changes to my mood board as prompted by Polly Noble. I have altered some things and there is still room for more to be added... As you can see the focus is on healthy mind and body as well as some goals for the future. What do you have on your mood board?


Triple Negative

Be awesome today....

by Claire23. September 2013 17:30


I got up today with big intentions to crack on and get really tucked into the nutrition course I am going to be studying online. It started a bit too soon for me as I was away on holiday and a new module opens each week so I have already been falling behind. So today I thought I would dedicate an afternoon to it and catch up. Unfortunately in my haste and panic last week I emailed the course administrator to discuss the possibility of postponing the start of the course till October so that I wouldn’t miss too much as I am away in October for about two weeks and wasn’t sure f ii would be able to get anything done whilst away. Bearing in mind I simply asked to see what their thoughts were. Unfortunately they have already gone and moved me onto the October course and as I sat down today to get cracking on the course content I found I couldn’t log on. Boo! I have felt frustrated all day. I think I have made a boo boo. I should have stopped worrying and just got on with the course... Now I have to wait until the end of October to get started. Ever since I have booked myself on the course I have been having doubts. I get a bit like that when I am nervous. I think I am anxious of the expense spent on the course and I am feeling pressure as I really want to succeed and put it to good use but I doubt my ability and my drive and motivation.

I decided instead to crack on with other things that have been on my to do list such as updating my mood board. The more I think about what I want to achieve out of life the more I get frustrated. I don’t think I have a clear set of goals. The thought of canSer hanging over my head makes me feel restricted. I won’t let it stop me from my daily life and my aspirations but I am a simple girl with simple needs. All I want is for Peter and I to be happy, earn a good living and be in love. I want the nice things like see the world and have time out and to continue my work as a therapist. I'd like to expand my repertoire every now and then but I am now not sure what I really want?!

I want to inspire people. I want to help people. I want to be a person who is calm and above all happy with myself. I want to be healthy and canSer free. To do these things I think I am on the right track with my daily routine of exercise, meditation and yoga. I know I need to up the ante with my diet and really become ultra focussed. But when things become second nature I forget that they are good for me and that I am actually making a huge effort and being a ‘good’ girl!

I also did a coffee enema today, the first one in over a month. As expected I am buzzing from the caffeine. I do feel clearer though. It’s great to have a clear out but one must have probiotics after.

I have also been de-cluttering my study drawer. It’s definitely the time of year for a huge change. I feel colder and the lack of daylight has an impact on the way I feel. I know I have been abroad only recently but one of the main things on my mood board is foreign holidays and destinations. I want to see the world. I would love to have a few months away with Pete but then I forget that it would be impossible for me to do that as I have to have my bloods taken every three weeks for chemo to start again. CanSer sucks. Although, I can’t feel sad. I watched This Morning today and a lady was on there that has canSer and has her nose and roof of her mouth removed. At that very point I thought to myself how very lucky I am. There are always people much worse off than ourselves. I am so grateful for the way I feel and the fact I am actually very well considering my diagnosis.

Time to put things back into perspective and stop moaning. OK today didn’t go as planned but I did get lots of good things ticked off my list. I am just a bit cross at myself for having doubts and now will have to start my course at a later date. It’s the old saying of, 'be careful for you wish for’....



Triple Negative

A perfect end to a perfect week...

by Claire22. September 2013 16:05


Well what a fun filled week and weekend I have had. No sooner had mum gone home my best friend from school arrive. As expected we chatted like hyenas for many hours as well as filling our faces in between. We nattered about our lives since we saw each other which was about twenty years worth! It’s mad what people remember and as Clare and I used to live together when we were doing our GCSE’s there were some very funny memories! It’s amazing how much you can talk without taking a breath! Haha!

This week with family and friends has been so good for the soul. I feel enriched and happy and now on balance ready for anything. The week ahead looks busy but I feel settled.

At night before I sleep I have been saying thank you to the Universe even if it’s for one little thing during that day. It puts everything in perspective and makes me feel complete. I actually feel less like have canSer today than I ever have. I am treated as if I am well by everyone and I talk about the future and what my retirement years will bring. This is a shift in me. I have always looked to the future but for once I am not letting my health stand in the way. The possibilities are endless and I, as well as thousands of others, are simply waiting for a cure...

I have been bowled over by the generosity of my new friends too. I have received huge donations from people I only met briefly on holiday. I must have made an impression on them!

It’s only one week today that my friend Alex runs the Robin Hood half marathon in aid of my chosen charities. Here is a link to the race details; I couldn’t even contemplate running that far so I am thrilled and touched that she is making such a huge sacrifice to do this to raise more funds!

If you would like to donate to support her and Breast Cancer Breakthrough and The Cancer Vaccine Institute then please click the link:

Well the sun is out and it’s 23 degrees. My Bear is on his way back from a boys weekend and I feel he may be a little delicate... so I am getting everything ready for him to crash when he walks through the door then a cup of green tea in the back garden... A perfect end to a perfect week.



Triple Negative

Today is World Gratitude Day.. what are you grateful for?

by Claire21. September 2013 12:20


I twisted mum’s arm to stay another night and she has just left this morning. I didn’t take much to convince her to stay. We had a lovely day yesterday having tea and flapjacks with my friend whilst we exchanged eyebrows treatments for haircuts.  Then off I went to the farm shop then onto have my nails done. It was warm and sunny enough to have the top down on my car too so a really treat getting some late summer vitamin D.

The week has flown by with mum being here and last night we had a real giggle watching TV comedy. I will miss and always hate her leaving but there is always next time...

Pete has gone away for the weekend with the boys from work to a chilli festival! So I am eagerly waiting for my old school friend to arrive for a few days of chatting and girly stuff.

I spoke to Pete early this morning whilst he snuck out and left the boys all snoring from over indulgence last night. I’m sure he won’t me saying that he has a lot on his mind and that amounts to worrying about me. He so wants me to be well and be healthy but the fear and the worry about finances and what will bes can just get too much at night. When he shows his fears and worries I can’t help feel overcome too. It brings it home doesn’t it when your nearest and dearest are fretful. It’s so hard on family to have to sit by and also feel what I do. I strongly urge anyone going through this with a loved one to also embark on mediation and spiritual practice. Pete hasn’t yet factored meditation into his daily routine but everyone is different and cope in their own ways.  I know for me that despite all the work I do I still feel very overcome at times. I read so many success stories of people that had only one to live but then the canSer has gone and they are alive years later canSer free. I just get the feeling whenever I speak to an oncologist at hospital that this isn’t the case for me. I guess they don’t want to give me hope. It is hard for anyone around me and for me personally to actually believe I have a life threatening or worse terminal illness. For all the hard work and the treatments that I am having you would think it only fair that I should be one of the lucky ones but that’s how weird life is. Things could get much worse before they get better. Or they may simply stay the same and I should be thankful for what I have got; a great life, perfect (almost) health surrounded by love and many prospects for the future.

Deep down I know we have made the right decisions and I know we will continue to do what we can. Pete 100% believes in the cell therapy. I am willing to give it a break and see what happens on chemo alone. On our next visit to Germany I will ask Dr Nesselhut if we can extend the times between appointments. This could be useful to us financially and emotionally. It takes a lot each trip to get time off work and re gig our diaries. I just feel grateful for having the opportunity to travel there with such a supportive and loving husband.

Today is World Gratitude Day. I think this is a lovely way to tell those you love how much you care and thank them for everything they have done for you. What are you grateful for? I am grateful for so much this list is endless. I am grateful for the life I have been given and to all the support from all well wishers and fund raisers. I am grateful to Dr Nesselhut and his team and to the loving care I get from my Bear. He knows this but it still is nice to be told. Make sure you tell those around you how grateful you are today.



Triple Negative

Flapjacks are calling my name!

by Claire19. September 2013 12:42


Every morning this week I have been getting up later than usual and doing meditation, yoga and exercise with my mum. We have been trying meditation with chanting. I actually quite like the repetitive chants and have found I feel quite grounded and alert after them. It’s nice having someone to do it with also.

Yesterday I had clients all afternoon but in the small time frame beforehand I decided to get my healthy cookbooks and experiment with some recipes. We baked some healthy seeded flapjacks made with nuts, dates and agave. Obviously I try not to have any sugar where possible but these looked so good I had to give them a go. In future I will try altering the recipe and add stevia and fewer dates. But at least it is all natural products. We made loads of them and now they just keep calling my name! Ha ha. I also made almond butter. It’s very tasty and a great alternative for me as I do lack things to spread on ryvita or rye bread.

I have seen a lot of research in the last few days of some really positive news on treating triple negative breast cancer of all stages. It seems they are finding that TNBC is very treatable with chemotherapy of different kinds but also that the fixing the faulty DNA is also a great solution.

I have also been hearing a lot about Heidelberg in Germany. Pete and I visited there for a day in June. Pete seems drawn to it. Then on holiday a friend mentioned that her friend was going therefore alternative cancer treatment. So me being me I decided that was enough to look into it further especially when Pete sent me an article on a guy who was told he couldn’t be treated or have surgery by the NHS because the prostate cancer he had was so entwined that they couldn’t operate. He paid £4000 and had the surgery in Heidelberg and he is now cancer free! The website seems to have a lot of information and expertise in treating many kinds of cancers and I can send my medical information along and they will advise me if they can treat me or not. I am not suggesting that treatment I have had recently with Dr Nesselhut isn’t working or that the next step in a few weeks time there isn’t going to work. Quite the opposite. I have a really good feeling about it but it doesn’t hurt to keep my options open. I think when I go to see Dr Nesselhut next I will ask him what he thinks about Heidelberg and their clinics. It gives me more hope though. I think I will fire Professor Harris an email and see what his thoughts are.. If you don’t ask you don’t get.

I have also been sent some info from my friend Wayne who has lung cancer who has seen some really interesting information on photodynamic therapy. This is already featured on my website but I was advised that it was something I couldn’t have here but on reading the article Wayne sent me it could be something worth investigating further. I was told that I had so many tumours that they were so small and too close to airways that it could be dangerous but I think this is worth investigating further also. I now don’t have any in my lymph nodes and the ones in my lungs are so small that it could be a good time to get rid of it?

Mum, Pete and I went out for a cheeky mid weeky meal last night to a local pub. Boy, I find it hard trying to eat vegetarian let alone vegan in so many restaurants. It was also a struggle initially not having an alcoholic beverage. But by not having any by the time I got home I felt really good about myself and know I just don’t need it. Good thing really considering I am now going to be tee total for at least forty days.

I received my herbal remedy from Brazil yesterday with a message from John of God in it. He said ‘Having been a gem miner, I have learned that in order for a precious stone to show its true beauty, it must first suffer the process of refinement, likewise each child, a rare diamond of creation, must be polished in order to realise their superior destination.

Great suffering is generated as consequence of the world going through great transformation. In the midst of this, the ability to sustain our lives and strengths must reside in our trust in the Supreme Being who is God.

Finally I leave you with the words of Christ in the gospel of john (ch.15 v.12) ‘This is my commandment: Love another as I have loved you’.

The remedy is passiflora which is passionflower. I have taken this information from a website;

Passiflora is the perfect herb for nourishing the nervous system, working gently and safely to reduce anxiety.

Many people find the pace of modern life extraordinarily fast, throwing up continual challenges as to how to cope with the continual demands on their physical, emotional and mental resources. This brings up the need for remedies that can soothe and strengthen the nervous system and spare the adrenal glands.

Passiflora is the perfect herb for nourishing the nervous system, working gently and safely to reduce anxiety. Instead of sedating the nerves, which can cause other effects such as drowsiness and a feeling of being disconnected, Passiflora reduces levels of anxiety in the body. This makes it easier to deal with everyday situations that would otherwise be draining.

Passiflora works on the physical body, relaxing muscles to reduce tension and that unpleasant knotted sensation that brings your shoulders up round your ears when you're tired or stressed! It also works on the emotional symptoms of stress, lessening the feeling of being on edge with a nervous system that's continually jangling. Keeping things calmer during the day means that the body finds it easier to switch off at night, allowing a more peaceful sleep that will refresh all the systems for the morning. This is extremely important because the restorative action of sleep, both physical and mental, makes the body better able to deal with the demands of the next day. Not sleeping well makes everything far harder to deal with.

Taking this remedy for stress or nervous anxiety and tension is extremely easy because it has no contraindications or side effects. It won't create physical dependency and doesn't cause drowsiness or problems with concentration. In fact, as it promotes better sleep, it may increase energy and improve memory and mental focus.

Much of the strain of dealing with on-going pressures can be reduced if you have more confidence in your ability to cope, and this feeling is promoted by seemingly small improvements in areas such as memory and concentration, which come from a better nourished nervous system and more refreshing sleep.

I am sitting here smiling, thinking John of God is a genius. It makes so much sense to prescribe this following his treatments. Anyone going to see him or receive healing is clearly worried and under immense stress or else they wouldn’t want or need healing. I also understand now the need to remove alcohol. I am not too sure why chilli has to be removed but can only imagine that it inflames the body and disturbs sleep.

Well I have a big tub of the remedy and I will add it to my daily supplements.

The week is flying by and mum is going tomorrow... Well maybe... I may just twist her arm to stay another night... Laughing




Triple Negative

A lucky streak at hospital...

by Claire17. September 2013 18:36


This week I have the pleasure of my mum staying with me. It’s always nice having your mum about. We don’t have anything planned really as I need to get back to work and start earning some money and tending to many ladies brows before they get out of hand! But even so we have been making the most of our time together. Well actually I have been roping her into trawling through cook books with me and making a list of recipes we are going to try out. I love nutrition and I love food but have never found cooking and combining flavours as something that comes naturally to me. So I have made an executive decision that there is only one way to change that and that’s to take the time and learn. I love eating veggies and I want to eat fresh natural foods so I have been referring to books such as Honestly Healthy, Crazy Sexy Kitchen and Guilt free Gourmet to get my kicks. Today we bought our ingredients and extra special tools... I plan on making myself a little recipe book with my own tweaks and recipes eventually, things that will really help everyone not just us canSer babes!

I went to hospital today also and had a blood test in preparation for my next round of chemo that starts tomorrow. I was feeling very luck y when on arriving at the pharmacy my prescription was ready for me. This normally takes over an hour to prepare as they never have the confirmation from my oncologist. Then when I walked into the blood test area there wasn’t a single person waiting. I was asked by the phlebotomist how long I had waited... I said I didn’t! But then I thought my luck had changed when I saw on the screen that there was a 90 minute wait to see my oncologist. Boo... I couldn’t believe I had so much planned today and this was going to seriously hold me up. Knowing the nurses I decided to ask if it was necessary for me to see the doc as I had my drugs, had my blood test and I felt fine. Luckily my oncologist called me to see him in the corridor in between patients and we had a corridor consultation. He gave me more paperwork, asked how I was doing and how the website and communications were going and said that he felt having looked at my recent scan that it was stable. That the miniscule increase in one the tumours in one lung were too difficult to see if they were actually a real increase or not. However despite this he said he wants me to have a ct scan sooner than normal. He said that there are plenty of other things we can do if there has been an increase or spread. I don’t didn’t want to hear this to be honest. I don’t want it sooner. Anyway I am not sure when sooner it can be done. I go away to Germany in two weeks and coming back from there I am advised not to have a scan for at least two weeks. So I am guessing it will end up being in November when I actually want it to be. I will have to organise that with Prof when I get the letter from the hospital.

So I was lucky after all. I skipped having to wait hours for my appointment and we went about our afternoon with a skip in my step! I had a visit to my favourite health food store, Bean bag in Witney. I bought a few new items that I have been reading about and just came across by accident. I bought Maca powder and Coconut Manna.

Maca powder is a Peruvian root vegetable containing a variety of nutrients such as vitamins, minerals, enzymes and every essential amino acid. Maca powder is perfect in smoothies, juices and protein drinks.Maca powder can be stirred into your daily smoothie, juice or protein drink. It is also particularly delicious when combined with raw cacao products.

Coconut Manna is a delicious whole food, made of pure, dried coconut flesh. This tropical "melt in your mouth" treat contains 16% fibre and 7% protein and nourishing fats. Warm it up to spread the goodness. I think I am going to use is purely from the jar as well as spreading and in smoothies for a creamy texture.

I have cupboards full of ingredients I have barely used and don’t know what to do with. I have a mission of experimenting in the next few months.Watch this space....

I simply cannot believe that I will be starting round 14 of chemo tomorrow! .... Blimey this year has flown but also feels like so much has happened. And so much to come...... 

Breaking news! Pete Just sent me some really this exciting news. There is going to be vaccine being trialled to prevent the reoccurence of breast canSer including triple negative breast canSer. It is in the US but wow.. things are happening.. For more info click on the link;








Triple Negative

Changes are coming.....

by Claire15. September 2013 14:34


Our trip up North was brief but jammed pack full of laughs and love. We are already home and I feel in need of getting my life back in order. I have had a very sensitive stomach the last few nights and I think my body is telling me to really start knuckling down and be kind to myself. Food as ever is a sticking point but being good all the time takes effort and will power and I can’t help but want to live a balanced life like everyone else.

I’m looking forward to the week ahead as my mum is coming to stay and she loves getting involved with my morning rituals, exercised, meditation and eating healthily. Starting as I mean to go we are going to do some healthy cooking to extend my repertoire. I do have a busy week too with clients booked in plus hospitals visits. It seems my week off chemo has once again flown by and the next cycle is looming. I have to be grateful though as to how well I feel and for the lack of side effects I have suffered. I pray that it is working though.

With the change in weather I definitely feel a shift in me. The way I feel, I think it is time to start a fresh and start making new clear goals for the near future. I aim to attend the HD brows masterclass this autumn, as well as start the nutrition course. I want to enhance my life by having more treatments and trying out pranic healing and reconnection healing. I have a long visit to Germany coming up and I know that this can leave me feeling out of balance to but I think my new challenge will be to live as healthily as possible when travelling. I am sure if I set my mind to it that it is possible. But I have to remind myself that actually I have been following my mantra, ‘I flow with life’, maybe being less strict and letting things flow without so much of a second thought is healthy for me?

I have so much to look forward to. There are big things coming and I hope that I can continue to live such a great life. It has been a monumental year and I don’t think that is going to change any time soon.

A good friend emailed today, as I hadn’t heard from for some time and he said, ‘Stay hopeful and remember, as I think C.S Lewis said, that our lives and the decisions we make in them become more important as we get older’.


Back to the land of the living and there's much to see and do!

by Claire13. September 2013 12:51


We’re back to the land of the living. I’m feeling a bit emotional from tiredness and sad at leaving there for yet another year and having made such strong bonds with complete strangers who we can now call friends. There are too many highlights to the week for me to mention but if I had to it would be spending time with our old friends and making new ones. Of course Marsha, our friend’s daughter really made it for me. I mentioned her in my last blog. She has been living with her new parents for 12 years now. She was adopted by Patricia Messenger and her husband Brendan who live in Ireland. Patricia is a radio star and during a work venture to visit orphanages in Russia she saw Marsha. The conditions were unthinkable and unliveable but even though I am sure Patricia would have saved all the children if she could, on seeing Marsha it left her feeling haunted.

Today Marsha lives a rich life full of love and fun and makes the most of every second. They as a family are so lovely to be around. I find myself wanting to sit with Marsha and ensure she is ok but she seems to really take everything in. Her parents treat her so kindly that it fills me up every time I think of them. Such selflessness inspires everyone they meet. I can honestly say most people couldn’t do what they have done and to think that they will care for Marsha for the rest of her life as she needs one to one attention. It certainly puts things into perspective and nothing seems hard really when you see them. I feel honoured and so very grateful.

The moment I walked through the door I started to get my life back in order. The washing has been done. The food shop has been done and my week planned for clients. The food shopping was all important as although we didn’t eat terribly it isn’t the same as eating our foods. My fridge is full of fresh green veggies and fruits and my first home made smoothie today was just great.

I have had time to plough through my emails and there has been a lot of activity with Google alerts on all things triple negative. There is a new phase two clinical trial in the US for a combination of two drugs. See the article here:

As well as a very interesting article by Lord Saatchi, introducing a bill aiming to help find a cure for cancer 18 months after he lost his wife to a rare form of the disease. The peer claimed the current treatment was "medieval, degrading and ineffective" and the law was a barrier to a cure. His Medical Innovation Bill aims to prevent doctors from being held liable for clinical negligence if they innovate during cancer treatment. Watch this short film about it;


Things coming up in the calendar are, of course, Breast Cancer awareness month in October but also Macmillan Cancer Support are holding their national coffee morning on Friday 27th September. Last year just from holding the coffee mornings and people making small donations they raised £15 million! Macmillan is an integral part of cancer care. They help so many people right from diagnosis to end of life care. Any excuse for tea and cake!! I best try to see if I can make some healthy ones!
Here’s the link to find out more and get your pack to hold your own coffee morning;


Even though we are back from holidays and the summer here definitely seems to have gone our fun hasn’t. We are heading up north this weekend for more friend antics. I honestly can’t remember having so many friends before! How lucky are we?


Triple Negative

Meeting old friends and making new ones.....

by Claire10. September 2013 11:54

I'm sat here in sunny Ibiza. It hasn’t been for a few days but thankfully now it is. It’s weird how the weather changes everything.

For the first few days we met some amazing people whilst basking in the sun. Our life stories unfolding. I find it incredible that such strong bonds and friendships can happen in such a short space of time.

But from experience and previous visits here, the friendships we make are life long ones. Every time I come here I go home richer, blessed and so grateful. You wouldn’t think that of such a place where it’s thought to be chaotic and hedonistic.

We have had the pleasure of meeting our good friends who we only met a year ago. They are also incredible people having adopted a blind/deaf child from an orphanage in Russia. I feel humbled and amazed at their strength and unity and above all love.  To be honest it’s been an honour to have their company. And their daughter Marsha has been through so much but seems so switched on and astute and has a hunger for living. Marsha gave me a gorgeous gift including a little glass angel and handmade pot with candle. These have pride of place on my meditation station.

My feelings on arriving in Ibiza were those of nervousness and fear. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I’ve realised that all fear is created by me. I put too much pressure on myself. No one expects anything of me but I do of myself. I don’t want to let myself down by drinking too much and not getting enough sleep for example. I have actually done both of those things and I feel fine about it. Pete says it about balance. Wait till I get home and everything is back to normal. I do worry that I will be ‘punished’. Silly really. I make my own choices and I’m to blame if the outcome isn’t what I want. It’s hard feeling well but knowing you have an illness.

We did toy with this being our last visit to Ibiza for at least a few years but now being here in company of friends, because that’s what the staff here have become, I find it hard to not come back again. The reason for making this decision was that we have so many other places to explore but the magnetic pull of this place is immense. My only wish was that I had will power to stick to water and have early nights!


Triple Negative