I don’t know what is wrong with me but I only slept for 3 hours last night. I am at this moment a bit jaded. Although, first thing this morning I was wide awake and raring to go... Don’t ya just hate it when that happens? I don’t think I am preoccupied but I must have thought about absolutely everything last night.... such a shame. I feel cheated. The night before however was a completely different story. I had to go to bed at 8pm. I was falling asleep trying to watch a TV show. I just didn’t feel right. Every day is so different. I think I am very sensitive to what my body needs and when I need to sleep I just have to listen to it and go for it. I had such a good day though with my clients. A whole afternoon of working and I loved every minute of it. I really do look forward to my next day of working.
I definitely feel that I am eating too much at the moment too. I’m not sure if I am doing it out of boredom or what? But I don’t like it. I like eating only when I am hungry and I don’t want to let my head take over and get the better of me. It’s my head that got me into this whole mess in the first place!
Yesterday was a good day, after seeing Ray for a visit I had my reflexology session. It was amazing as usual... I simply can’t get enough of it. She really feels things are working well and that my lungs are good. That’s what I like to hear. Needless to say still no appointment for the CT scan but that’s ok as I am in no hurry to have one!
It dawned on me today that all I ever wanted was control and the more I tried to control things and my life the less I had. In fact all I had was anxiety and would rush around like a looney. Now I am trying to control everything in my life less and I think I have more of a handle on it... weird how things go...... A good example is my kitty. I tried to make her a lap cat for so long and would grab her for cuddles and she hated it, and me! Now every morning she leaps on top of me in bed and sits facing me with a big smile on her face. All the years I have had her and all I wanted was to have a lap cat. I stopped trying and there I go getting what I want. There’s a lesson in there.
You know it has made me think would it really matter if the canSer didn't go fully? I will still have to have a CT scan regularly and as long as I am well I will be fine. I am starting to understand that canSer is a chronic illness not necessarily a life threatening disease. That's a real thought.....
Today we have friends visiting from Nottingham. They are staying with us for the weekend. If the weather looks good tomorrow then there is nothing better than punting and swigging champagne out of the bottle but I fear we may need to take a brolly or do something more suited to the weather. It’s been raining here all night long. I don’t mind as my garden needed it but I could do with some bright warmth. I feel like a wilting flower. I am striving to go into full bloom but without the rays it ain’t gonna happen!
I saw this link today and thought I was the only lucky girl in the world to have a bear but it seems there is another lucky triple negative survivor with a Bear.
This article featured on American news is really heart warming...
‘Pandora's Josh Huffman was one of five people honoured Wednesday in Columbus as one of Stefanie’s Champions.
The program annually honours those whose dedication and strength were powerful influences in the lives of cancer survivors. Huffman was nominated by his wife, Laura, a breast cancer survivor.
This is not the first time Huffman has been honoured. In August 2007, he was recognized for saving a woman and child from a van submerged in a flooding river near their home.
“I felt his strength and calmness … it went straight to my soul during a time when my strength and sense of peace was nonexistent,” Laura Huffman said about Josh. She did not tell her husband she was nominating him for the award.
“If she would have, I would not have let her enter my name. I like to stay in the background,” Josh Huffman said. He learned about being selected as one of the champions on Valentine’s Day. “She gave me a card telling me about the award."
Laura said she learned about the award while reading a book by Stefanie Spielman. Speilman wrote about how her husband, Chris, went above and beyond his role as husband to care for her throughout her battle with cancer.
“It embodied everything Josh was for me,” Laura said. “Josh didn’t skip a beat. He learned everything about breast cancer including the terminology and treatment plan. He always was able to tell me what to expect and what was next.”
At age 31 with a husband and three small children, Laura was diagnosed with advanced triple negative breast cancer. Laura said Josh was at every appointment, making the drive from Pandora to Columbus, regardless of work commitments or how big or small the appointment was.
He rallied Laura through 16 weeks of dense dose chemotherapy, bilateral mastectomies, 38 radiation treatments and two stages of reconstruction. He started a binder, filling it with notes, asking questions and researching everything possible.
Josh Huffman said the hardest part about being a caregiver is seeing your spouse going through the treatments, pain and challenges of having cancer.
“The blessings we received though are all the help we had from our family, friends and church,” he said. “The good part of people around you shines through when you’re struggling.”
Prior to the banquet at Ohio State University's Archie M. Griffin Grand Ballroom, the couple were interviewed for several hours to allow the “Stefanie’s Champions” staff to prepare a video on their story. The video was shown at the banquet.
Josh Huffman was presented a glass plaque during the awards ceremony. Accompanying the Huffman’s to the banquet were their three children; Laura’s mother, Kathy Green; Josh’s parents, Charles and Jayne Huffman; and his sister-in-law Amber Huffman. Laura’s father, Don, was out of town and unable to attend.
“We had the opportunity to meet Urban and Shelley Meyer, who were the honorary chairs during the ceremony,” Josh Huffman said. “We really enjoyed that. Especially our children.”
The couple said they will continue to advocate for cancer research and urge their friends to get screened for early detection.’
Awww she is a lucky girl as am I. Bless our Bears. Light and Love. X