Flex the mind muscle

One of the ten point plan is mental fitness. This for me has been the hardest point to crack.  (That along with giving up alcohol!) everyone says how positive and upbeat I am and I am- most of the time but as friend said I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t have a wobble.

Some readers may think mediation and yoga are not for them and question how can it really help? O a physical level maybe it’s easy to understand but to be honest my initial thoughts for learning them was the breathing element. I have canSer in my lungs therefore I should make them as strong as possible. What I didn’t realise is how very important they are for my mind and inner strength on an emotional level.

I can honestly say that I have never felt so calm, happiness and love in my whole life. Calming the mind and pushing away worries and fears is the hardest thing I’ve had to do. The mind is like a muscle and it takes practise. 37 years of negative, acidic thoughts are hard to quench but I’m finally getting there.

Every new pain or lump or bump I see and feel- its hard not to immediately think its not more canSer. I urge anyone (especially with canSer) to try and learn to exercise the inner voice and trust your heart.

Ive said it once (twice, three times maybe) just remember to enjoy the moments you are having now. When feeling afraid think, yes but right now I’m fine.

Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want to happen. Reading and learning is the most positive thing. Remember to look for the positive in every situation. Think what lesson am I being taught?

Eventually that fear can be controlled when it does rear its ugly head….

Listen to your heart your truest guide. X


As Mark Twain said, ” I’ve been through some really terrible experiences in my life and some of them actually happened”.


Magnetic and mystical

Today after a day of relaxing and enjoying the sounds of music, laughter, wind in the palms and the splashing of water we decided to take a trip to Es Vedra which had been highly recommended a visit.

We had been told it is very mystical. Well that was enough for us! We had to go…

Its a small rocky island on the southwest coast of Ibiza. The island is said to be  home of the Sirens who lured Odysseus from his ship. It’s also the holy island of Tanit, the lunar goddess- Ibizas patroness.

Fable has it that two brothers had to travel to the island to collect rock samphire to heal their father of an I curable disease. In their way stood the giant of Es Vedra. The two brothers cleverly disabled the giant with the help of sea urchins and were able to collect the samphire and heal their father.

Whats really interesting about Es Vedra is that due to high concentration of minerals it’s the third most magnetic field on earth known to disturb compasses in the surrounding area. (Ours went mad!) It’s also said disturb sensitive individuals.

Apparently Es Vedra is meant to be sitting on top of Atlantis!

Some people experience a feeling of human littleness which makes it great for meditation. Some people have said they experience cosmos powers but all visitors experience a mysterious force that surrounds the place. We certainly did. (I could taste metal in my mouth!)

Such a beautiful place. I want to go back again.

Hippies, Light and Love

I’m reading ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’ by Richard Carlson. In it are short easy chapters filled with lessons and ways of relieving all the stress and worries, as it says the small stuff. Most of what we worry about is irrelevant. Trying to understand life and let life flow is something we are trying to learn and be. It helps deal with everything we come across. One interesting point made was,’what do you want to accomplish in your life?’ The answer is normally to earn more money, to buy that dream house, to retire young and live in Marbella. But actually what it should be is to have inner leave, be a kinder person, to see obstacles as lessons and to see the good from what we think are bad things.

Now maybe all of this sounds a bit ‘hippy’ man! Well we are in one of the most hippy locations in the world right now- Las Dalias- where the hippy movement began here in 1954.

Its funny as we’d never have thought of ourselves as hippies but boy they’ve got it right. They understand that whatever you own will eventually own you. They may look and sound ‘different’ but they have really got it so right….

Life is about being happy. Love gives inner peace and happiness. If you think about it love is all we need.(There’s a song in there!) Love and light. 🙂

Anyone following on me on Facebook will have seen the ‘heart’ pictures I have been sent by so many wonderful supporting people. One picture is from a group of people from Ibiza Rocks who I don’t even know. They made a ‘Claire Rocks’ plectrum. Today I went to the shop and saw my ‘plec’ in the window and met the lovely people in the picture. They are such lovely kind people and treated us like they had known us for years. Also it was good to catch up some old friends too.

If you looks around you and stop for one minute all you can see is love. Forget everything life passes by too quickly not to enjoy it and for all the bad things -just think in a years time will be forgotten anyway.

So if you are still laughing at the thought of Pete being a hippy-I’m glad we have made you happy.

The weather has been bit out of character with cloud, rain and and being very moody. It’s not my ideal weather. It if we hadn’t had this weather we wouldn’t have seen probably the most interesting part of Ibiza. There’s a positive to every negative it seems. Therefore there are no negatives. If I hadn’t been diagnosed in July then I wouldn’t be lucky enough to share my thoughts with you all, I wouldn’t be learning so much interesting information, I wouldn’t be meeting amazing people and I wouldn’t be awakening to the love and light all around me. We are truly blessed. Namaste.

(Don’t panic you haven’t lost me to spiritual awakening. I’m still a superficial shopaholic at heart! So where can I find those supercool boots Pete?)

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Raising awareness in the national media? Gulp…

I couldn’t sleep last night as I was too excited… With the generosity and kindness continuing… A friend who owns  a friend who owns a PR company Blythe Weigh, has kindly offered his time and skills by trying to make this site connect to many more people.

Our ultimate goal is to raise awareness of triple negative breast cancer and share information and gain knowledge and hopefully save lives by raising funds so that other survivors can have immunotherapy in Germany too.

Im certain that the ten point plan can help many people with any canSer especially triple negative breast cancer but also help many make positive changes to their lives to prevent canSer.

If we can help just one person then we have achieved something. By making this site more prevalent lives will be saved.

So back our PR friend. He has in his own time contacted the media such as the BBC, ITV, The Sun, Daily Mail plus lots of magazines. We are yet to find out if I’ll be on tv or in the news (which is why I was so excited last night- the thought of talking on national tv to Holly Willouughby and Phillip Schofield- Arggh!) Anyway back to Earth.

I want to thank yet another true friend for their precious time and selflessness.

Lets hope that as its Breast cancer awareness month in October that we can get support, raise awareness and gain more info to help our fight for many women.

All aboard the chill out train- choo choo!

Throughout my life with canSer I have been so incredibly fortunate to be rich in abundance of love, kindness and generosity from everyone.

Since we have been married we have made an annual trip to Ibiza where we have met many wonderful people who are now such good friends for life. We always stay at a supercool hotel called the Es Vive.Www.hotelesvive.com.

Not only is it the hippest hotel to stay in (room 108 is an awesome suite) but the staff are so attentive and bend over backwards to cater for my every need including my very (difficult) unique dietary requirements, collect us from the airport, flowers and heart in our room and so much more!

This year we thought we couldn’t make our trip due to the ‘bombshell’ in July but our friends (hotel owner and manager) invited us to stay before the end of the season.

So we arrived yesterday.. We are being treated like royalty and we honestly cannot thank everyone at the Es Vive hotel for making us so happy.

So you read that right we are in Ibiza!  We made a snap decision to live.. A lot! Now we are sat by the pool, chilling and listening to tuuunnnnes! All aboard the chill out train- choo choo!

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‘Mushroom of immortality’ and Second Opinions rolled into one

I have been fortunate enough to have contact with Dr Ellen Copson who is a Senior Lecturer in Medical Oncology and Honorary Medical Oncology Consultant for the UHS Foundation NHS Trust since I was told the canSer has metasised. She allows me to email her with questions and mostly reinforces what I have already been told.

She has emailed to suggest that I may benefit from a second opinion and has given me the name of a breast cancer oncologist in London. I find this really helpful knowing that I could seek the opinion of another specialist if needed. It’s also surprising that we are entitled to a second opinion on the NHS. I am certain that most of us wouldn’t have known this and it just proves how much is available to us if we knew about it. If I want to proceed with this all I have to do is ask my GP to fax a referral letter to him.. Simplezzz. I may just do that.

It is only a few weeks til I go to visit Dr Kate James for a couple of days of therapy. Her approach is through diet, supplements, Chinese medicine, acupuncture, (EFT) Emotional Freedom Techniques and more. She has suggested I start taking chaga and reishi mushroom supplements. First impressions are they taste disgusting! But of course I will persevere with them of course especially since I researched them.


has been used to strengthen the immune system, detoxify the body and to extend the span of life. This fungus was been documented as early as 4,600 years ago in Chinese medicine where it earned the names: “King of the Herbs” and “A Gift from God”. It is used for the treatment of many forms of cancers and tumors in the Siberian regions. Due to their regular consumption of Chaga, these indigenous people have very low oncologic diseases. Many of them have been documented to live for over 100 years. WOW!


is hailed in ancient Eastern medicine as the “mushroom of immortality” and the “medicine of kings,”. This immune-boosting mushroom also works wonders in the prevention and treatment of cancer, as the T-cells are then able to fight cancer cells more effectively. However, reishi may help the body defeat cancer in not just one, but four ways. In addition to boosting the immune system, the glucan in reishi helps immune cells bind to tumor cells. Many experts believe that it also actually reduces the number of cancerous cells, making it easier for T-cells and macrophages to rid the body of them. Another substance in reishi, called canthaxanthin, slows down the growth of tumours.


As a result of these amazing anti-cancer abilities, laboratory research and traditional medicinal usage of reishi to fight cancer is so positive that the Japanese government officially recognizes it as a cancer treatment! This is enough of an incentive to take them. Even if they simply stimulate my immune system. I have to admit I am feeling really well. Long may it continue.

Had a great start today… whilst doing a spot of yoga overlooking my garden a Red Admiral butterfly came to the door and fluttered in front of me for a while. That put a smile on my face. It made me think of my friend liking butterflies to me and their symbolism of celebration, change, positivity, freedom, fun and joyous times. Ye ha! I’m a butterfly baby!

If you had limited time to live what would you do?

If you were told you had limited time to live what would you do?

People always say faced with a death sentence that they’d like to see and do many wonders of the world; the Great wall of China, swim with great white sharks, bunjee jump, safari etc.. OK there are a few places I’d like to go; Carnival in Rio, Brazil, Hawaii, Tibet, Fiji, New Zealand and many more. Plus I’d really like to have a month or two with Bear travelling, with no ties or worries and see where we’d end up and who we would meet along the way.

But really, I don’t massively feel like I want to do anything other make our home nice; window boxes with geraniums at the front of the house, decorate the downstairs bedroom in hotel chic style, I’ve always wanted our kitchen re done as well as the drive. But really? Is any of that important?

I love our home. I love the different areas. I love our garden. I love knowing how much graft I personally have put into every inch of that house. My favourite parts are the shelves that Pete put up in our wonky ensuite cupboard and the shelves that my dad made in a nook in my boudoir. I love my bitchy kitty cat and I’m really proud of my business (or that I had achieved last year). I love HD brows. I want to do more and become a trainer maybe. I just love learning.

I want to point out. I don’t think I have limited time. In my gut I know I’m doing the right thing with treatment and on a daily basis with all the changes in my life-physically, mentally and spiritually. I hope I’m going to be a success story. I just need to be patient though. I’m already planning my celebration bash and my 40th birthday, which by the way is going to be on a super yacht in the South of France with my friends (and even my mum can come!smiley-innocent.gif), but you have to think of all the possibilites right?

All I want is to know that everyone will be ok. Selfishly, I don’t want to miss out on anything! And I don’t want to be alone in the dark. It’s a fact of life that we are all ‘terminal’. We have no control of when it happens. You could say that having a time scale is bonus as it gives you time to deal with things and make changes and do things you always wanted to. For now all I want to do is stay well, keep fighting and have the favourite part of my day; seeing my hubby come home from work.


The Simple Things

For me life has always been confusing. Even more so when faced with a life and death situation. Day in day out one’s head and thoughts can drive you crazy. One minute being up and the next down. A constant emotional rollercoaster. In the last two months what I have noticed the most that makes me happy to be alive and for every minute I get to live on Gods’ great Earth are the ‘simple things’. Money, possesions and all the stuff we worry bout and long for daily are all irrelevant. All that matters is ‘love’ and even the smallest things bring the greatest happiness and satisfaction.

Anyone that knows Pete and I, know that we care for an 89 year old gentlemen who Pete befriended 20 years ago. Ray, doesn’t have any family or friends and lives alone so Pete has, all this time, been his confidante. We do his washing, shopping, organise his appointments and generally be his ‘family’. Yesterday we had Ray over for his favourite meal, omelette. It’s funny that something as simple as pottering around with him was so fulfilling. Takes my mind off ‘me’.

On returning from taking Ray home, we arrived to a package outside our front door. So beautifully wrapped. Inside it was full of thoughtful gifts for me and Pete and cards to both of us with love and happiness. We are both thrilled. Overwhelmed with happiness and  I can’t believe people are so kind. Throughout the past two years I simply have been astounded by the love and support from everyone we know and even some I don’t know.

The gift was from a client, a friend of mine. I haven’t known her for long but not only has she taken time, imagination, effort and love to make us happy she has even arranged a concert to raise money for the Sobell House Hospice and to raise awareness for Triple Negative Breast Cancer. Unbelievable! Thank you Sara.

I am of course very excited.. and here are all the details for anyone that would like to attend and party along with us. It’s going to be a small affair with only 120 seats available.

Friday 26th October at 7.45pm:

Meet the Beatles, one of the best Beatles tribute bands around. They came last October and proved to be very popular. Now they are embarking on another tour for charity.

See Meet the beatles perform such hits as Please Please me, Love Me Do, Help, Yellow Submarine, Hey Jude and many more. If you were, indeed are, a fan of the Fab Four then this fantastic show is a must for you!

The performance will be at 7.45pm on Friday 26th October at The Players Theatre, Nelson Street, Thame, OX9 2DP.

Tickets cost £12 with £2 off for concessions, and can be obtained from Tickets Anywhere, Greyhound Walk, Thame. Telephone 01844 217228.


Dontations will be collected on the night for the Sobell House Hospice.

Today the happiness continued as did the ‘simple things’. Pottering around the house, a visit to the Global Retreat centre and homemade vegan food. The Bear even made me a stand for my shrine for meditating, with his own hands (and didn’t get upset at ‘equipment failure’! smiley-smile.gif)

Life doesn’t get much better than this. Friends, family and little furry animals, oh and scrummy food. X

Marijuana could help stop canSer spreading!?

As usual the search for a possible cure or treatment that may extend my life and the lives of others continues and it’s amazing what one can find on the internet! Just so you know I didn’t find the info below… Pete did. It gives new meaning to getting high! 🙂

A pair of scientists at California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco has found that a compound derived from marijuana could stop metastasis in many kinds of aggressive cancer, potentially altering the fatality of the disease forever.

“It took us about 20 years of research to figure this out, but we are very excited,” said Pierre Desprez, one of the scientists behind the discovery, to The Huffington Post. “We want to get started with trials as soon as possible.”

The San Francisco Chronicle first reported on the finding, which has already undergone both laboratory and animal testing, and is awaiting permission for clinical trials in humans.

Desprez, a molecular biologist, spent decades studying ID-1, the gene that causes cancer to spread. Meanwhile, fellow researcher Sean McAllister was studying the effects of Cannabidiol, or CBD, a non-toxic, non-psychoactive chemical compound found in the cannabis plant. Finally, the pair collaborated, combining CBD and cells containing high levels of ID-1 in a petri dish.

“What we found was that his Cannabidiol could essentially ‘turn off’ the ID-1,” Desprez told HuffPost. The cells stopped spreading and returned to normal.

“We likely would not have found this on our own,” he added. “That’s why collaboration is so essential to scientific discovery.”

Desprez and McAllister first published a paper about the finding in 2007. Since then, their team has found that CBD works both in the lab and in animals. And now, they’ve found even more good news.

“We started by researching breast cancer,” said Desprez. “But now we’ve found that Cannabidiol works with many kinds of aggressive cancers–brain, prostate–any kind in which these high levels of ID-1 are present.”

Desprez hopes that clinical trials will begin immediately.

“We’ve found no toxicity in the animals we’ve tested, and Cannabidiol is already used in humans for a variety of other ailments,” he said. Indeed, the compound is used to relieve anxiety and nausea, and, since it is non-psychoactive, does not cause the “high” associated with THC.

While marijuana advocates will surely praise the discovery, Desprez explained that it’s not so easy as just lighting up.

“We used injections in the animal testing and are also testing pills,” he said. “But you could never get enough Cannabidiol for it to be effective just from smoking.”

Furthermore, the team has started synthesizing the compound in the lab instead of using the plant in an effort to make it more potent.

“It’s a common practice,” explained Desprez. “But hopefully it will also keep us clear of any obstacles while seeking approval.”


We will keep our eyes and ears to the ground for the next new development.

Have a good weekend Y’all. Ours is weekend of chores, fresh air, shopping (fingers crossed) and possibly a visit to the Global Retreat Centre for some meditation. (I won’t be dragging Bear there- he offered!:))

Love and Light. X

Vaccine number 2-Cocktail of cells and proteins

Second day in Germany for treatment. Good news came from Dr Nesselhut. We were all ready to ask as to when I could have the new vaccine containing P2X7. Two reasons for being apprehensive; 1.He may say I have to wait. 2.The cost. Once the words were spoken he looked a little puzzled and said, ” You are already having it”. This did confuse me as he said last time I had to wait and had ommited the new antigen had been already included in my cocktail of cells.

Apparently I am having primed dendritic cells not only for NDV but also for nf-P2X7 which is non functioning death program within cancer cells only. This should in theory mean, the canSer cells within me, die. Normal cells have P2X7, which when the time is right, activates the death of cell. Woohoo! Bonus- double whammy! It’s cutting edge and has only been used on 30 patients at their clinic in the last 3 months.

We discussed forward planning. Dr Nesselhut says really if I feel well, I should do at least 3 if not all 4 treatment months before having a CT scan to see if it has worked,.

We discussed chemo- he said some low level chemo drugs can help if there is a shortage of some sort of cells (can’t remember what) But he says my levels are fine.

This time 8 million cells were injected- a littele less than the 15 million last time but more than the average 3 million.

Whilst I was being treated Pete bought the Angel Lady a heart made of slate to thank her for her kind words and asked more about the angels. She said that there is lots to tell but wants him to read a book which she will give him next time.

One last thing was Dr Nesslehut mentioned the vaccine includes an immune boosting protein deriving from a South Sea Island snail which is so far removed evolutionary from European homosapiens that it really gets the DC cells twitching.

Booked for October and November for the last two months of treatment.

Drove to Hanover- now in bed at 8.30pm ready for an early start to go home… 🙂