What a beautiful day it has been! From the moment we awoke the sky has been blue and the air cold and crisp but the sun has had his hat on!
My mission now is to continue doing what I have been doing from the ten point plan but better. Spend more time trying to think and be positive. Who knew doing all this stuff took up so much time. Hilarious really. All most people wish for is to have more time to spend on themselves, only to do that means it gets in the way of doing other ‘stuff’. I can’t decide if its making me feel more stressed! I desperately want to read all these wonderful books that I have. They could change my mind set completely! I wish I could get a balance where I feel happy with what I am doing knowing I am doing enough. I often feel that once the day is complete that yes, today was a good day. But at the time I feel like a hamster in a wheel.
My sister in law said to me on Saturday that the more you do the more low you feel. I would have thought it would be the other way round. Having more time on my hands would give me more time to dwell and think. But I think she is right. The more I rush around filling my time helping myself going to appointments and making my life better and trying not to miss opportunities, I actually feel more withdrawn… By golly, this is quite annoying.
A client called me today to see how I am doing. She said that I have to believe everything I am doing is working until I’m told otherwise. She is right too. I keep trying to use my intution and know my body like I have done in the past and I can only feel well. I do admittedly feel achey from yoga yesterday and I am feeling a little tired although not lacking energy. I think that must be from doing so much in the recent weeks and also Pete is unwell so sleep for us both isn’t great. I really believe that I am getting better. It’s so hard not knowing what is happening inside of me. There’s is no knowing whether it’s working quickly or it has stayed the same. I guess the answer is not to think about it. Everyone else doesn’t sit wondering what is happening inside their bodies. They react once they get symptoms or illness.
I reckon I have got the physical stuff sorted for the moment although my search will never stop. It is the mind I am working on and with about 6 weeks til my next scan I am going to work on my mind. I already play with visualisations and affirmations and whilst meditating I think of golden light rushing into my body, every crevice and healing me whilst breathing out I breath black dark nasty stuff, the disease and negative thoughts.
My current book I’m reading, How your mind can heal your body, says that meditation actually heals the body- physically. Studies show that meditation had increased the prefrontal cortex of the brain- the area that controls concentration, free will and compassion. Thus, when you visualise healing your body,the first that occurs is that you actually change the microscopic structure of the brain. Mind changes matter! I feel like I have mentioned this before. Sorry if I am repeating myself. But it’s good stuff and I really have such high hopes when I think of that.
The rest of this week I have more time at home and amongst doing some chores that have really been nagging me, I am going to try to relax more and enjoy the now. I want to finish my book, update the website, add info to forums and remind myself of the good stuff I am doing to fix myself. Oo aswell as cooking pumpkin dishes as I have plenty of them! 🙂 Tis the season and all that.