Coffee enemas……seems wrong but is meant to be so right!

Recently Pete has been tweeting Francesca Fox, who is a chef and lifestyle guru, about smoothie recipes and anything healthy. She recommended we look up Polly Noble and I’m pleased she did. Polly is a bit like Kris Carr only English. She too has had canSer and now inspires people through her nutritional advice and lifestyle changes.  Here is her website;

There’s loads of good blogs, recipes and advice on their and her story is also very amazing!

This inspires me once again to really start to love the lifestyle I have adopted because of this disease. I have to admit it has been hard lately and I have felt like I am missing out when everyone else around me is eating barbeque burgers and sausages and fish and chips and birthday cake! Ok I admit I may have fallen off the wagon a bit but I am still religious with my morning drinks; lemon and hot water, smoothie or juice, reishi mushroom drink and coconut water. I feel it is time to re engage with everything and feel pleased with what food I can eat and how healthy it makes me feel.  My next challenge though is to encourage Pete to do it too. I feel it’s time for him to become less toxic inside and out. Work pressures (and pressures of caring for a 90 year old man) can be overwhelming and I take it for granted that Pete is doing ok. But I feel a positive change will make him have a brighter outlook and be less stressed. I am going to really try to get him to do meditation too. I’ll keep you posted!

Polly has written a book with co writers about healing and canSer and I know I read a lot about it but as long as I find a few helpful nuggets of information along the way then I find them really useful.

I have noticed a lot recently that coffee enemas keep being mentioned as being very beneficial for the liver and detoxifying. Polly recommends them also. Hmmmmmm……. I’m not sure about this. I want to try it but it’s the whole thing of putting all that coffee inside you in an end I only want things to come out of! But ever the researcher I think I may have to give it a go. I will of course divulge the gory details and let you know how I feel when I do finally pluck up the courage to go for it!

Today I am working again but also going for acupuncture. Ah….. really looking forward to it.

Bye for now….

A good weekend for British winners!

This weekend has been a delight. Not only did I have the Bear back but we had sunshine… lots of it including high temperatures as well as many sporting successes for Britain… The British and Irish Lions won against Australia; the first time in 14 years and Andy Murray won Wimbledon! Come on! It feels so good and is such a lift to everyone in the nation. We needed a pick me up and wow how moving…. I think everyone found a way to watch tennis in their gardens yesterday. Ha ha! We did. We rigged up our TV outside and watched whilst we sunbathed and paddled in the paddling pool… brilliant weekend.

The weekend was full of love and the Bear looking after me; feeding me well. It is nice to be back home and getting into my routine again.

I started this week with a strong yoga session. I am now shaking and I don’t think I can lift my arms! Ha ha! Back to work today too. I don’t mind missing some of the sunshine. I think I have had plenty in the last few days and by the looks of me I look like I have been abroad for a fortnight!

The heat does have some down sides. It’s very stifling at night and Pete and I didn’t get any sleep last night. I think an early night is in order. I also think maybe I should have a detox bath and use some Epsom salts and oils to really balance myself.

I’m off to meet a new acupuncturist tomorrow. Closer to where I live and been highly recommended so I’m looking forward to feeling really balanced again.

I had an email from HD brows head office on Friday informing me that they are making me an HD brows ambassador! I don’t really have to anything other than what I already do. I spread the word and get other ladies involved in it too. Yay! Lucky me!

Research me! I’m a living breathing medical trial…..

Had the sad news today that Bernie Nolan has died from Breast canSer. It makes it really hard when a household name dies so young. I hope she fell asleep peacefully. Thoughts and prayers go out to her family.

I got to meet Ellie Copson today who is featured on the specialist consultant’s page. She is a senior oncologist at Southampton Hospital. I have been in touch with her th9ourhg my sister since I was diagnosed with metastasis last July. She was kind enough for me to meet her and discuss my options as they stand. I have concerned with being on chemo for so long and she did things are working and the canSer is stable that she would personally if I were her patient let me more lenient on the time in between chemo cycles maybe extending the break from one to two weeks., especially as I have been on for it more than 6 months.

She said the difficulty in that they have little evidence of patients on immunotherapy so can only base their plan on what they know which is chemo. Obviously chemo strips the bone marrow so it isn’t ideal. The other problem is  if I was to take a longer break of say a few months off chemo is that it could be when I start it again it wouldn’t work any longer. Now I believe that there are no definite answers and they really don’t have evidence of any of the outcomes.

Ellie spoke about some young patients just like me that look really well and are living life to the full. This does make me wonder how many of her patients has she had that are still living years on with a stable disease or maybe no sign of disease? Or have they in fact all died?

There never seems to a finite answer and it does always seem that there is an underlying thing that I will almost certainly die from this disease eventually. God I want to talk or even see someone that is living well ten years on from their diagnosis of terminal disease! I can’t believe that they have all died? Where are they?

Ellie was very kind to me and has said any time I have any questions that I can ask. I pray that my body doesn’t give in and that all that I am doing will win this battle. I am a living breathing medical trial.

I think that if I continue to have good scans and they come back being clear one day that I will have to risk stopping chemo. When I mention the drugs and the reishi I am on, Ellis just looked bewildered. It’s so far out there for a scientist to understand. She is currently researching how breast canSer in young woman especially obese women don’t survive or at least cope as well as those whom are a healthy weight and lifestyle. They are now admitting lifestyle is a factor in treating the disease.

I want to offer myself as a trial for her. Research me!

Anyway hoe today to see my bear. I’m so excited and I’m thrilled we are going to be having a heat wave. Tra la la!

You can conquer canSer

Yesterday I took mum to have a pair of eyebrows tattooed on! Sounds extreme but is a real boost for the self esteem for those who have no eyebrow hairs.

After that we decided to be ladies what lunch and then had a lovely walk along the beach. The weather has stayed dry but not sunny. Can’t complain. I am missing Pete terribly but it’s nice to be here.

I have had plenty of time thread and finally finished my book, You can conquer cancer. I really feel my ten point plan is so similar to his program. He focusses a lot on meditation and recommends that idiot two to three times daily for up to an hour at a time!  I’m not sure  I can manage that but I do feel working harder at it as it is very healing.

He mentions in his book that he feels close loved ones should also adopt a few elements such as meditation, exercise and diet.  It helps them become more aware, go through the process of healing and be more grateful too. I like this. I think I’m going to try and get Pete to be more involved and make positive changes. He needs peace too. I think doing a guided meditation would help someone just starting out. Deepak Chopra is a good starting point. I am going to try out some of Ian Gawlers mediation CDs too.

Ian Gawler writes summary points of what to do enhance treatments and surgery:

Mental preparation:

After choosing your plan of treatment commit and prepare mentally. This will help with side effects, maximise the benefits and make the whole experience meaningful. Aim to create a healing environment physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Step2- immediate practicalities:

Eat well-Choose a healing diet. Keep fluids up include juices and smoothies.

Exercise regularly at least 20-30 minutes per day. Minimum of 4 times per week.

Meditate daily.

Use imagery- white light or visualisations especially when receiving treatment


Support your bowel using probiotics.

Check your vitamin d levels regularly.

Emotional preparation:

Be authentic


Practise gratitude

Spiritual preparation:

Generate acceptance

Make time for big questions. Contemplate the meaning of life and what life is all about.

I think it all sounds like sound advice and a really great place to start by covering so many elements.

I have now started reading The Power of now by Eckhart Tolle. It’s a bit heavy duty but I hope to get a feel for it soon.

Surely it’s not been a year already!?

Today is a monumental day for me and my Bear. It’s a year today we got the tragic news that I had incurable canSer. A year…Already! Oh my..

For me it feels like only yesterday but also a lifetime ago. I can vividly remember being at hospital then calling Pete. I remember the panic, the sadness and the look in Pete’s eyes when he came in from work beside himself. It’s weird I’m not holding onto that day and those memories so that I can relive them or be a victim. I want to let it all go so that I can move on. I don’t blame anyone, most of all I don’t blame myself. It is a distant memory and a time and date that year on year forever more I will look back and think that was the day my life changed forever. Strange then you’d think it would have been when I was told I had canSer first time round three years ago, but no. That day I didn’t go home and think my life will never be the same again- for the better

This day last year was the day I came alive and woke up from my slumber of a life. Took the bull by the horns, picked myself up and dusted myself off. But if it sounds like I’m gung ho and strong I’m not. Without Pete, my Bear, my One then I am certain I wouldn’t be sat here now blogging.

He is my inspiriation, my drive, my reason for living. He gives me strength every day. He brightens my world and gives me hope. And what would life be without hope?

Then there’s everyone reading this including my mum, friends, family, friends of friends and complete strangers who have given me the passion to keep going. It’s amazing how small simple comments, emails and entries on the visitors page make such a difference. Just knowing people want to know what’s going on in my life, feelings, in my head and heart, inspires me daily. I want to thank everyone because without them, you I wouldn’t be as healthy (as I can be) and happy.

I live a life without regret, blame, sadness and fill it with a future, hope, happiness and gratitude.

My health is better now than a year ago. The canSer is apparently still there but when it got worse last year I have batted it back and I believe that I am in a stronger position than that fateful day.

There have been many dark hours and days and who knows whats yet to come? But that’s how exciting life is!

Ive had a year of opening my eyes, heart and soul. And so has Pete. I’ve learned about the need for a less acidic life physically and emotionally. I practise yoga, exercise regularly, take supplements, medicinal mushrooms, travel to Germany for immunotherapy and use heat and air daily. I have rekindled my love of drawing and getting back to work. I have had huge success selling wish bracelets for charity and been a lingerie model for the day. The most memorable thing is the kindness I have experienced and love from absolutely everyone. I hope I’ve helped teach people with my words and that I can offer some help to anyone who wants to improve their life and comfort to those in a similar situation.

So the last thing to say is Thank you!


I’m still away at Mum’s house and hope my Bear can wait just a little while longer for a big old’ squeeze on my return.. Not long now.  Mmwwaaahhhhhhh! Xxx

Lost without my Bear….

I have caught up on my sleep… Ten hours! Woohoo! Started the day doing meditation and yoga with mum. Followed by a green smoothie…. But then I got tired again. I can’t decide if it’s because of chemo or because I am out of my comfort zone and doing my daily rituals at home. I feel a bit lost. It’s weird how I feel so lost when I am not with my One. He woke me up this morning on his way to work with my morning call. Morning! I don’t think I would have woken up otherwise!

The day has been spent doing what I do best….. Shopping! (don’t worry Bear I haven’t spent much! Not a Karen Millen in sight!) it’s bizarre how I even enjoy looking round DIY stores! Ha ha!

Off out to dinner with my mum and sister tonight so that should be nice….. Then back to bed again. Yay! I can try out my new pyjamas….. 🙂

Death comes to us all…..

Had a terrible night sleep. bear was poorly and it was ultra hot. Such a shame too as it was my last night with the Bear for a few days as I’m visiting mum in Dorset. We didn’t get to see each other on my birthday and it’s hers this week. We always have such a lovely time together. As per we got stuck in doing jobs as soon as I arrived! This afternoon we did a spot of gardening and then chilled reading for an hour. Mum is always keen to eat like me when I am down so this evening we had a plate of veg! Sounds basic but that’s essentially what we had. I really feel the need to eat well as I feel I’ve been polluting my body. The problem is I constantly feel like I want to celebrate or have a treat! I need the switch in my head to go so that I become really strong and focused. I need will power.I need to stop wanting treats and realise that giving myself pure foods is giving myself pure foods is giving myself a treat. It goes back to Kris Carrs’ theory that sugar and white starchy carbs are like crack cocaine! So addictive. I think I’m a bit hard on myself though…I just know I could be better.

Ive been reading about death- facing it, preparing for it and dealing with it. I’m trying to understand that death doesn’t have to be something we are afraid of. By dealing with those thoughts make life even more exciting and worth living. I want to feel calm about it. I think if I dealt with the fact that we all di eventually and that there could be something very blissful and exciting ahead of us then I could let it go. No need to expel thoughts, fears or worries in it. I’m starting to get it. I’m afraid of there being nothing. And fear of never seeing or feeling my loved ones again. I don’t want to be without them…or be alone and scared. It gives me more drive to be alive and to to accept and prepare fro death mentally and spiritually. Bear isn’t afraid. He’s so sensible. I miss him. I know he misses me. 🙂