Whats the Universe got in store for me?

I have been having a lovely week with clients. I really love my job and I can’t seem to get enough. I have however had a few cancellations this week that has left my diary gappy. I normally see this as an opportunity to fit other things in. Usually it happens when I just need it for example if I am feeling unwell, tired or am trying to squeeze in other things. The Universe usually sorts things out for me one way or another. I was unsure why I was being given the time this week though. I figured it was so I could get my homework done. Yes, homework even before starting my nutrition course! Well I have ploughed through it and am ready to get going on the course, starting in a few weeks. I am yet to receive my pack though. I’m excited and nervous all at the same time. I wonder if I have bitten off more than I can chew? Time will tell I guess.

I have had some great night’s sleep this week and I love my bed. I never want to get up. I have spent some time in the early hours when waking to visualise.  My visualisations have changed again. I now see many mini mes’ inside working on each individual tumour in my lungs and one in my lymph nodes. I am using a powerful hoover to suck up the canSer cells and the tumours finally disappear. The canSer cells are grey and floppy. I then see big strong cells bowling around guarding the area to ensure no canSer cells come back. I see myself polishing the lymph nodes and making sure no more canSer cells get stuck to them and turn on a tap to ensure they are working properly. Bizarre, I know!

I have noticed that I feel really sleepy soon after taking my chemo drugs and think that it could be the anti sickness medication. So I have taken the plunge and stopped taking the anti sickness drug. A bit risky I know but I thought as I take the chemo drugs with food I should be ok. So far, so good. I haven’t experienced any sickness and the way I see it the less my body has to try and process, the better.

Today I have a few clients and then I’m off to have my nails done. My treat to myself. This weekend looks pretty good weather wise but I have plenty of things to be getting on with. One thing I really want to get back into is doing some artwork. It’s been ages since I used my ipad and did some scribbles. I feel like I have a mental block with what to draw. I want a theme to work to. Hmmm must get thinking and be more creative?


Dr Jose Valdevino is healing me….

Yesterday I went to hospital for my blood tests…This day comes up so quickly. I started chemo this morning after finding out that my blood cell count looks fine and so does my bio chemistry. Good news. I was a little worried that it may not be after last week’s illness. So another course of chemo… of which number round it is I cannot remember…

Pete however isn’t well. Nor are his colleagues that did the Spartan race. They have all come down with sickness and diarrhoea and it now makes me wonder what was in that muddy water that they have all clearly ingested! Yuk! It doesn’t seem fair after having gone to so much effort for charity to then be ill. Poor things. I hope they all feel better really soon.

I received an email from Adrienne the guide from the Casa in Brazil last night with my results of the distant healing. My photograph was passed by John of God in entity.  It was Dr. Jose Valdevino, he is known as the compassionate father of the house.  I am still being treated, the healing is very powerful and the entities have different ways of doing the work. This is exciting! I like the fact it is still working and that it will continue to for 55 days. I guess there is no way of knowing until I have a scan?!

Today I have been ultra tired weird considering I had a really long sleep last night. Pete wonders if I am fighting something also. But today has been a bit of an odd day. I have had some clients with gaps in between so have been working on some pre course work for the nutrition course.

Digressing slightly I just wanted to let you all know about the lovely juice bar in Brighton that I went to last weekend. It has just opened and is called Juice People. Here are some shots of the shop and their blackboard with a choice of juices on. If you are ever down that way you must try it out!

Preparing for a week without anything canSer related….

This weekend has been really quiet and earthy. Our time has been spent pottering doing jobs and packing for our week away. It may seem to some that we are away all the time.. And I suppose we are but not always away with no responsibilities and being carefree. This week coming we are going to lounge around, have plenty of time talk, walk and think… Oh and be in love. I’ve even decided to have a week off reading about anything canSer related. I’m going to read a trashy novel and live like I mean it! Not that I don’t normally of course. I’m almost at the end of my chemo cycle so that will be nice too.

Yesterday I felt really washed out again. That’s been a few weekends in a row. I felt ‘not right’. I can’t put my finger on it. I know I was a bit poorly as I was sound asleep on Pete’s chest during one of my favourite tv shows by 9pm… I was snoring! Slept all the way through…

I feel better today although it started a bit shaky. Right now I’m the happiest kitten ever- under a duvet watching James Bond.

Pete and I have been talking a lot about raw foods and juicing this weekend. On our return he is going to do a juice fast. I’m pleased he is seeing a benefit in my diet. It really improves everyone’s lives.

So not long now till I have to say goodbye to my kitty and leave her with ‘Aunty’ for the week. She won’t miss me.. She never does. Ha ha!

Spartans ready! Aroo Aroo!

Following the distant healing on Thursday at the time the picture of me was to be shown to john of god I mediated so that I can feel truly open to any sensations. I felt incredibly relaxed and the time went very quickly. During the meditation my hands became numb and after I had incredibly heat in my mid back area. I tried my best not to be creating things in my own mind and I am sure I felt that. I won’t know until after the weekend when I should receive an email stating which entity John of God said worked through him to heal me.  Only time can tell now…

Bank holiday weekend- the last until Christmas. To be honest I could have easily stayed at home. After having been in Germany and feeling poorly all week I felt time in my casa would have been perfect but it’s not all about what I want!

So we headed to not so sunny Brighton on Friday night, it was moody and wet and continued to be this way on and off throughout Saturday. I had a lingering headache and convinced it was from the zometa infusion. It finally went yesterday, thank goodness.

I noticed also my weight had dropped below my usual weight. I have been eating the same but clearly being ill had stripped me of some of my goodness! Pete heard this and has been feeding me up ever since.

During Saturday, as no boating was to be had, we mulled around The Lanes in Brighton and stumbled across a new juice bar. I was thrilled and immediately bought one of my own recipes; pear, mint, celery, cucumber and orange juice-Delicious!

Sunday was the long awaited Spartan race for charity. The boys, one girl and Pete all congregated amongst 1500 other contenders. There was a great hype and I felt excited for them but also pleased I hadn’t entered! What was thought to be a 5K obstacle race, turned into a 10K steep hill, dangerous obstacle course that took over two hours to complete. They all looked a state but were still smiling at the end. I was so proud of them and they are continuing to raise money even now. Anyone who wishes to donate please click the link; http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=makingtriplenegativeapositive



Unfortunately prior to the race Pete slipped on the boat pontoon and cracked his knee and shin. He battled on however today his leg looks like a kebab on a spit! We have cut the bank holiday short and headed home and hospital is the way forward. I’m sure he’ll mend. He’s being very brave- bless him.

I am hugely touched at how the team pulled together and helped each other out. I’m very proud and thank every one of them for doing it for charity. Big hugs all round.

I’m feeling better in myself right now I just need to get back to exercising every day and really get into my routine. I’m at hospital again tomorrow for blood tests then back on chemo tablets … Time flies….

Had a call from Dr Nesselhut…

I had a call from Dr Nesselhut yesterday as I had emailed showing concern due to the fever and shivers that I had. It was lovely to speak with him and he reassured me that it was good that I was having an immune response. He said the fever is just like having the hyperthermia treatment but without paying for it! He chuckled to himself.Good of him to call though. It was very comforting.

I am booked up with clients today as I feel much better although I do have a banging headache. I haven’t really had any headaches for about a year since I changed my diet to vegetarian. I can’t decide if its dehydration, something I have changed, my neck causing tension or what? Of course the thought of canSer spread comes to mind but that’s me being dramatic. I have reluctantly taken paracetemol today again but it hasn’t made a blind bit of notice. Hey ho.. Plod on and hope for the best.

I have been doing a lot of studying the past few days in between clients and other daily chores. Some good and exciting news is I have signed up to become a health coach and study nutrition with the integrative institute of nutrition. It’s an online course and I have heard great things about it. I do feel a little nervous as I don’t want to take on too much stuff but I think that’s just me having second thoughts and being nervous about it. Or as the book I am reading, Spirit junkie, say it’s my ego making issues to stop me from succeeding and enjoying it. I decided to become a health coach as I am very interested in nutrition especially incorporating canSer and how to live with it. I also felt that as I have a website and blog I could really help other people; healthy or unhealthy, improve their lives. People already ask me advice about supplements and lifestyle changes so I figured if I had more knowledge then I could really help them!

Today at approximately 6.30pm I am going to be receiving distant healing from John of God. I know it sounds mad but miracles happen every day. I will find out which entity has chosen to work on my ailments. I am intrigued to know if I will feel anything but as soon as my last client leaves I am going to sit and meditate for a while so that I can truly be receiving. I am a bit nervous actually… Eek!

I’ll keep you posted as to what happens if anything…. Ciao. X

Feeling poorly but it shows an immune response!

I have now returned from my Germany trip for this month. It was a flying visit as always but time seems to drag a bit when we are there. I had more treatment yesterday of hyperthermia and airnergy including a Zometa infusion. I awoke feeling under par, as if I was coming down with something. I had been warned that the Zometa infusion may make me feel like my bones ache. This is due to calcium being stimulated in my bones. This is because a higher dose of Zometa is in fact used for bones metastases. Next I saw Dr Nesselhut to have my vaccinations. One intradermally and the other intravenously. Luckily I had a cannula in as my arm is beginning to look a lot like a pin cushion!

As always Dr Nesselhut has lots of great stories and information for us. It seems that the gamma delta cell therapy is really working as much as 42% success rate. This is very good when you compare it to chemotherapy in the circumstances for advanced canSers. We discussed how this time my gamma delta cells have been stimulated organically but there is also the option of Peter being a donor. Peter can be a donor as I am used to his cells apparently through kissing! Ah…. Must kiss more to exchange cells and for us to be compatible! Ha ha! Any excuse.

Our next trip to the clinic is planned for October and it’s going to be a long trip as I need to have leukapheresis again as they have run out of my cells. Peter will also have to donate his blood so that they can get to work doing the gamma delta cell cultures. Apparently it is much more work than the dendritic cells. It is also a lot more money. We sat and debated for about OO two minutes as to whether we should see if what I am currently having works but seeing as the results of the donated gamma delta cell treatments are working so well it could be the thing that cures me. Pete decided it was worth finding the money and going for it. It makes me worry a lot about the money side of things as well as the upheaval every time we go but Pete is so committed to me going for treatment and making me better. I owe him everything and it seems I really could owe him everything when he donates his cells to me!

Dr Nesselhut says that his aim is never to have the canSer go into remission. His aim is to give me a life that is of the usual length. His grandmother had canSer for forty years and it didn’t inhibit her daily life at all. She died at 84 years old. He thinks this is a good age. He wants his patients to live a normal healthy life for as long as a healthy individual. He said remission is very nice though.  He told us of a story of a mother who donated her cells to her son who had a very large brain tumour. His oncologist looked at his ct scans before and after treatment and confessed that chemotherapy could never do that (all clear) and that he had never seen anything like it in all his years.

I feel quietly confident that the next treatment could be the pinnacle that really knocks this canSer off its socks! I already feel like the treatment I had yesterday is doing something. Ever since I left the clinic I have felt poorly and it progressed into shivers on the aeroplane. Then last night in bed I had a terrible fever and sweats. Today I am still not right and sadly had to cancel my clients as I have simply felt terrible. I am not shivering now but I think good old fashioned paracetemol is helping alleviate the symptoms. I feel wrecked though and could sleep for England. Nothing new there then!

Back to Germany for new treatment regime…Gamma delta cells

I’m writing this blog from my hotel room in Duderstadt in Germany. We stayed at Heathrow Saturday night and boarded an early flight yesterday to Hannover. From there we drove to our current location ready for treatment. As the weather has been pretty dreary we decided to settle down for an early night besides we both felt exhausted from being up since about 4am. I had 12 hours sleep last night!!! And even then I feel I could have stayed in my wonderful slumberland for longer.

I have to admit I felt a bit nervous about treatment today. I had been informed that they would be introducing a new addition to my treatment regime in order to really get this canSer in remission- we hope.

As explained before they have introduced Zometa into the regime in order to stimulate the Gamma delta cells inside me. Gamma delta cells are a different type of dendritic cell which have a distinct T cell receptor. It’s hope that this increases their ability in the immune response. We have seen startling evidence of this in the MRI scan of a woman with advanced lung canSer who only had 20% lung capacity remaining who after three months showed no evidence of disease.

Zometa was infused intravenously into my arm at only 2% and it is hoped there would be no side effects as it is such a low dose. As well as this I had an injection subcutaneously of interleukin 2 which helps the gamma delta cells to be stimulated also. This was all in addition to my usual treatment of Newcastle disease virus injection and heat and air treatment. It has been three hours and I feel absolutely fine.

We did discuss whilst there my next visit, including the need for me to have more cells extracted and the fact that Peter would need to be a donor of gamma delta cells. Luckily all he needs to provide is 200ml of blood which will get sent away to be treated and prepared to then be injected into me. Mind boggling eh?

On every visit we notice more visitors from different nationalities. We are so intrigued to know if they are all here to see Dr Nesselhut. The clinic certainly seems busier than normal. Is this a sign that his treatments are working? If nothing else he certainly gives canSer survivors hope and some life extension.

I was asked how many more times do I have to come here for treatments. The simple answer is forever. I am not sure how often it will be whether it will be more infrequent over the next few years or if indeed my condition worsens and I have to come more often but Peter put it perfectly. He said if its forever that’s fine as forever together is almost long enough. Love him. X

Do you ever see things and think they could be a sign?

Do you ever see things over and over and think that it may be a sign? It could be coincidence  but if like me you feel very sensitive to things it simply cannot be chance.


When I went to see Dr Kate James last October she mentioned John of God in passing. John of God is a spiritual healer who has entities that work though him and not only heals but does surgery on his patients. He has been healing for over 50 years and people travel the entire world to see him. The entities that work through him are age old doctors. I know it sounds mad. I have been to spiritual healers in the past not for anything in particular but none has the kudos that John of god does. He lives in Brazil and hundreds of people from all over the world go to visit him every week to be healed, even Oprah Winfrey has been there… Well if it’s good enough for her then it’s good enough for me! Here is a link if you would like to find out more:



I have read a lot about John of God and as farfetched as it sounds there seems to be many people who have miraculously recovered from illnesses. I have gone as far as considering going to Brazil to actually meet the man himself and experience a healing session. Polly Noble has been there and she actually had psychic surgery. Here is what she had to say about it. You will notice that she visibly has had something come up in her neck after the psychic surgery;



Since hearing about John of God last October I have forgotten about him but things keep popping up recently. I noticed Polly Noble had been there, then I opened a book last week and there was another article on him and then yesterday I flicked through a new book and just his name popped out at me. I take all signs to mean something so have decided to look into it further. Upon scouring the internet most people can only go to see John of God with a guide. I found a guide called Adrienne who has a website and explains what to expect. Now I don’t think I am ready to visit and it would mean having two weeks there on my own but then I noticed that he can do distant healing. By simply presenting a photograph with details of my illness apparently he can get the entities to work on me. I have read testimonials and I know I have to be a  bit savvy and I am not totally gullible but I am believer of these sort of things otherwise I wouldn’t go and see Stan the Man for reiki for example.  I don’t expect to be completely healed over night although there is always that hope but I am intrigued and for the purpose of trying it out I am going to go for it. There is no fee but there are rules I have to adhere to after the healing has taken place. I cannot drink alcohol for forty days or eat chillies! They recommend taking an herb called pass flora that they provide at a small fee. The drinking thing should be interesting but maybe it’s just what I need to get really healthy!

I am excited but also very dubious to know what will happen. I aim to book to have it done next Thursday. I will keep you posted as to anything that may happen. Sounds mad but maybe a miracle could happen?!

I have a big cheesy grin and I know how to use it!

I have had a little of bit of excitement today. I had a call to be told that a newspaper may want to do a piece on me… plus I have been speaking to a BBC reporter and telling her my story. It’s not confirmed yet whether I am newsworthy enough but it still keeps me very much focussed on what this is all about. I have just been emailing some information across to the reporters and I am very proud of what the last 12 months has given me. I have just read the visitors page and it’s so comforting to know that I can in some way have contact with so many other people, cancer survivors and the general public. The messages are all so heart warming and I really do feel blessed to have such great support. I don’t think I am inspiring but if other people do then that’s brilliant.

I have also just been looking at my modelling photos to send a few across to the reporter and I recall what fun it was as well as how I dreaded it so much. My friend Lou can vouch for that. I was sending her panic texts from the studio right before I had to strip down to my undies! Ha ha! I am unsure if I will be asked back this year but it was one of those great experiences.

I was asked what my main aim is. That’s a bit of a tricky question because the obvious answer on a personal and selfish level is to kick canSers butt but at the same time be able to share the findings and experiences with everyone who is willing to read about it. If I can share one little nugget of information that helps someone in any small way then I feel I am doing the right thing. On a long term view I would love to continue with this work and will endeavour to spread the word about triple negative breast cancer the best I can. If I do find a cure or something that keeps me living well for many years to come then I will be shouting from the rooftops with a megaphone!

I was also asked what do I think has contributed the most to my current state of health? This is such a tricky question as I believe everything I am doing is contributing hugely. But I do have to say that if it wasn’t for my fitness and healthy lifestyle chemotherapy and any negative thinking would definitely be dragging me down. I have to admit it isn’t easy but life is full of ups and downs and the way I deal with eating ‘good’ foods as often as possible it to be aware and listen to what my body needs. As you know I do like a party and so I know that when I become ‘green’ again that my mood, my sleep and my general wellbeing improves vastly. You can only fight this battle if you are well prepared and that’s what people like me do. I think constantly being on the lookout of ways to make life fun, calm and stress free is up there on the steps to wellbeing. Looking at me I look better now than I have in years. I exercise daily even if it is only for 20 minutes, I meditate and I am grateful every day for the life I lead. Most of all I know for a fact that without my ‘One’ known of this would be possible. Now maybe that is a hard one for me to be able to share because I know I am very lucky to have such an attentive, thoughtful, hard working Bear… he will be blushing right now. But it’s true. My husband is the one that gets me through my dark days and motivates me to keep going. He is the one that says I will still be here in fifteen years, no doubt about it! If you don’t have a Bear in your life then I would suggest you find love in yourself and any other loved one may it be your mum, dad, sister, best friend or even your pet. Love is the most important thing in the world and when you learn to love yourself, love comes in abundance from every direction. I am one of the lucky ones but so could anyone else be. I will be there for anyone should they need my help or just want a smile. I have a big cheesy grin and I know how to use it!

Light and Love. X

Light hearted and happy…. :)

Yesterday was one of my better days. I felt bright and breezy. I didn’t experience any tiredness and I felt rally buoyant.  I put it all down to the food and detox that I have been having. I didn’t sleep much last night and when I woke at 2.30am my mind was whirring. I couldn’t stop thinking of all sorts of things. One thing swimming around was the thought of becoming a health coach. I am really interested in training with the integrative institute of nutrition. The course is a yearlong and it’s mainly an online course. I feel it would hugely benefit me and my family and of course other people of all backgrounds but mainly canSer survivors.

I felt really excited generally and lots of happy thought were flowing. I even laid there and did a long visualisation session too. For the first time in ages my chest area really pulsated and had a huge warmth to it. I believe that toxins were making me feel bad physically and mentally and I think that becoming weakened in that sense made healing harder in every sense of the word. I now feel a real rejuvenation and know everything is going to be ok. I had a real strong feeling that everything is going to be ok.

Actually yesterday was the first time in ages when I didn’t want to think about canSer. It needn’t be part of my daily life as I only have now to enjoy. Anything else is a bonus. I like feeling like this and hope it stays….

I would ordinarily feel grumpy at only having four hours sleep and I am sure I will be wrecked later but I don’t feel grumpy. I feel light hearted. I have so much to be thankful for and I really appreciate the love and support that I receive. I feel inspired to get better and know more than ever that the body is an amazing thing that can surely show me the way. I aim to stay clean of toxins for as long as possible.

I am continuing to make more wish charity bracelets and soon there will be a whole new bundle for sale. I will keep you posted.

In the meantime we need to raise more funds for the boys and girl from local company VTUK. They are going to be competing in the Spartan Race on Sunday 25th August all in aid of the two chosen charities, Breast Cancer Breakthrough and The Cancer Vaccine Institute.

The Spartan race is a normal 5k run. It has fire, mud, obstacles and is generally tough going but Peter my husband and his colleagues are prepared to battle on to show support and raise all important funds. To show your support please click the link and make a donation;