Invigorated, refreshed and excited!

Ah…. as I sit here and sigh and think back on the past eight days. It feels so odd having not written anything for that whole time when I could have given such great detail every single day of how I felt and what I had been doing but then that would just be gloating! Ha ha!

Looking back over the last week I have really had an awesome time with my husband and step son and really couldn’t have asked for more. But at the time whilst living it I was having all sorts of emotions. I think Christmas can do that to you.

When we left last week I felt rushed and a bit stressed. I am always nervous of leaving for many reasons. You would think I get used to it with all the travelling I do but still I felt fretful.

Things couldn’t have gone more smoothly with checking in our luggage the night before and flights all leaving on time. A few minor hiccups at our destination airport but nothing to spoil our mood. The weather was what I consider perfect for a winter holiday. Bright sunshine in a crisp cold atmosphere. We were staying in high altitude resort that had plenty of snow so our wishes to God and the Universe had been answered. Visibility was clear and our moods were great. I love to ski ever since Pete taught me. I know he is a man of many talents eh? Josh was fearless and kept up with us both very well. In fact a few times he took it upon himself to show us what he really was made of when he flew past on a scary black run with everything rattling and look of excitement and fear all over it! We lasted the week almost injury free. I remarkably had nothing to complain about and Pete had a few lumps and bumps that he accrued on the very last day. (That’ll teach him for being adventurous!)

Then when our wish for fresh snow was made we had the biggest snowfall of about a meter over night. Conditions were a bit tastier but I didn’t mind for the views that came with the weather. I have huge respect for the mountains. I am nervous of the changes that can happen so quickly and I will never take advantage of its good nature. Skiing became more challenging but this is good for us and taught us to dig deep and embrace the snow! It was like being a kid hurling ourselves around in it.

As usual I miss home terribly when I am away and I think because it was Christmas whilst we were away I felt a bit un- Christmassy. Our hotel owners did their best to engage us in their celebrations with carol singing and the nativity play followed by a five course gala meal on Christmas Eve. At least this year’s Christmas was memorable. I will never forget the awesome views and feeling I had on Christmas day whilst we three sat legs swinging from a chair lift high above Obertauern in Austria.

 

I did miss my mum on Christmas day. I guess once a kid always a kid and I always want mum to share in my happiness but it was nice to know she was spending it with my sister.

I’m filled with such overwhelming joy as sit remembering the utterly amazing views and feeling of being so alive as I skied harder than I ever have before. We skied approximately 30 kilometres per day and had plenty of stops for a tea and gluhwein as well as eating the hearty Austrian food. I have no regrets just complete happiness.

I did however have my moments whilst away. I cannot explain why they happen. My head became clouded one night. Firstly I just want to add that we were so exhausted every night that we were tucked up in bed by 9pm and didn’t get up until about 7.30am most mornings! That’s an epic time in bed to have. Our bodies clearly needed to replenish.

But this long night’s sleep was interrupted more than once from my thoughts. One night in particular I became hugely afraid and very upset. I was scared of not being with Pete. I know I shouldn’t have but I woke Pete and inadvertently worried him too. He said he already knew I was feeling uneasy. I guess that’s how close we are that he can feel the shift in my emotions. I felt quite emotional for a few days after. Before I went away I was informed of a potential new treatment that could be a game changer and for one other TNBC survivor who is in a similar position to me now only has scar tissue on her lungs. Knowing this I felt confident that 2014 is going to be an epic year. But then I started getting emails from the company regarding the treatment and that started worrying me and made me think maybe this isn’t the answer to my prayers. One word of advice to anyone before they go away… Don’t start making any huge life decisions. Leave it until you have the time to find the answers and communicate when businesses aren’t closed for the Christmas break!

Anyway, I got over myself and remembered that I was the luckiest girl alive and that living rather than dwelling is all that is important. I do not feel ill. I, as far as I am concerned will not be ill and can continue as normal as possible for as long as possible.

Now that I am home I am grateful for my life even more so than ever. Pete and I agreed that we are different to many. Most people hate coming home from holidays as they don’t want them to end. I LOVE coming home. I love my life. I love doing my rituals of exercise, meditation, heat and air and everything that makes me feel good about myself. I love my home and my kitty, which incidentally is too cute for words. I put that down to my friend Sarah who lovingly looks after her every single time I away. Now that’s commitment! I am sure if Kitty wasn’t so feline she would tell Sarah how thankful she is… to be fed! Ha ha! I can’t wait to get back to my life here and over the next week or so, in between Pete going to work we will visit friends and family and finish the year and start the new one with a huge outlook of love and happiness. Much the same of this year really, only better than before!

I feel refreshed, invigorated, excited, and ready for Christmas presents! We have waited until our return to open them.. Today we are having a mock Christmas Day with a lovely dinner and an afternoon or watching Christmas TV. A perfect Sunday afternoon back at home with my Bear and Kitty. Happy Sunday everyone!

                                                                                                                        

I love Bears everywhere! Here’s one I couldn’t resist saying Hello to Bibo Bear.

Light and Love.

 

Claire XX

The build up to the Christmas Holidays… many things that the new year brings.

Phew, what a busy couple of days and it’s not over yet. I have an afternoon of clients before we get ourselves ready for the Christmas break. I’m feeling a lot better now but to protect my clients I have been wearing a mask to prevent them from getting my germs.

Christmas is a great way to finish of the year and it’s time to reflect on all things in the past twelve months. It is a time for celebration and I am thankful for having it. I forget all my worries about health and live like there is nothing wrong.

I have been in a present wrapping frenzy this morning and then I heard a thud from the letter box. I have received an early Christmas gift, a book from Mark Newey, whom I visited earlier this year for some ‘therapy’ shall we say. He helped me rid negative thoughts and did some hypnotherapy on me. He has written a book called The Naked ‘I’ Authenticity, be you, be happy. I was touched that he sent me a copy and I look forward to getting tucked into it once I have finished my current book. If in the mean time you would like to check it out please click here;

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Naked-Authenticity-You-Happy/dp/0992710405/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1387543346&sr=1-1&keywords=the+naked+i+by+mark+newey

 

I have today received an email from a good friend who has a friend who is also TNBC survivor stage four (who has another friend!) who has been having a treatment in Switzerland. I am yet to get all the details but what I have heard so far sounds very promising. I know it sounds like I will be touring all of Europe at this rate but there is a bonus that I don’t have to go there all the time for treatment. Once I have more details and can explain it I will of course be sharing it on here. It excites me as it gives me more hope of a long healthy life and also the new year already had a lot to look forward to but now it has even more so!

Pete, I and his son Josh will be off for some winter fun soon and I hope to continue blogging over the next week but in case I am having too much fun to journal or if the wifi isn’t great then I would like to wish everyone a wonderful Christmas filled with love, light and sparkles. X

Ho Ho Ho!

Strenghten your intuition and listen your soul…

Yesterday I got up far too early but one bonus was that I had a brilliant night sleep! I felt revitalised and raring to go. I had to leave at such an early hour to get to the hospital for a clinic appointment at 9am. Prof Harris wanted to see me to see how the first cycle of the chemo vinorelbine had gone. I informed him that I felt fine all except having a stuffy nose from the lingering cold. Other than that I hadn’t suffered any side effects. I discussed the fact that I have been reducing the anti sickness down. He agreed that this was fine and that some people need it and others don’t.

He then told me that he thinks we should increase the chemo to the maximum amount any person can have. Now I was led to believe two things. That the amount I was having was suitable for my body mass and the other point was that low dosage chemo was better in some circumstances. The theory that if you hit your body hard the cancer mutates harder and faster and can become more aggressive.  I didn’t see any point talking this over with the prof. I think that I may see how the first week goes on taking the higher dosage. If my bloods get affected or if I feel rough then I will simply reduce my intake. That’s the beauty of oral chemo.

I feel a bit confused though. I obviously am desperate for the canSer to go and I am willing to try anything but I am trying to understand in my self what is best for me. I don’t want to ruin my system and I am fully aware what chemo does to the body. In fact most people get ill from the chemo ravaging their systems and that’s what they inevitability die of; some sort of illness as a result of a depleted immunity such as pneumonia.

Part of me wants to have the confidence to say no to chemo and let’s see what happens. I feel much stronger in my mind and spirit at the moment and I have a strong sense of everything is going to be OK and that I am going to overcome this against all odds.  I have been reading more and more of people with stage four cancer who are now canSer free. I know I am a miracle daily but I think I can do this.

It has always been our theory that the ten point plan includes conventional treatment. But maybe I should dip and out of it. I strengthen my system daily with my rituals and dietary needs. I know I am strong enough to cope with anything but I want it to heal itself. The bodies needs change regularly. This is common with ones dietary needs so maybe it’s true of medical needs. I know the body can do this as there is so much evidence of it.

I guess intuition is something I have to trust and fear has always been the biggest issue for me. I think to be fair it is the biggest issue for all of us. We constantly take advice from others and avoid listening to our gut, our heart, our intuition.

Intuition means trusting yourself and trusting the Universe. Meditating is a great way of listening to your body’s needs. It gives clarity and a sense of well being.  I firmly believe we have the answers we just need to be more in tune with ourselves.

I believe waking with a grateful heart and being happy will bring fulfillment and the answers to our needs. If we all tried to live life by these rules there would be a greater harmony in our day to day living and healing would occur naturally.

I visited the pranic healer yesterday also. He said that my lungs feel more even and the chakras are evening out also. He did however feel that I am stressed. I said that I don’t feel particularity stressed in fact quite he opposite. He said our bodies hold tension and stress without the mind knowing. It’s a constant battle trying to create wellness and harmony. I guess I need to keep listening harder!

Here are six ways to strengthen your intuition;

Try these easy ways to boost your inner strength and listen to the whispers of your soul written by Dr Kirsten Harrell

1. Clearing your mind

It is easier to hear the whispers from the soul when your mind is quiet and open. You likely have lots of thoughts running through your mind at any given moment. You probably spend much of your day multi-tasking. All of this “noise” makes it difficult to hear your intuitive voice. It is important to find some ways to quiet your mind. You can’t shut off your thoughts completely, but you can learn to slow them down. Let all the distracting thoughts flow out of your mind. Let them go. Picture your thoughts floating away on a cloud. Focus on your breathing and allow your mind and body to relax more with each breath. You might even try counting down from 10 to 1 and allow yourself to relax more with each count. Once your mind is clearer, you can then access your intuition.

2. Meditation

 There are many forms of meditation and all are excellent ways to get centered and quiet the mind. Even a few minutes of meditation daily can increase your ability to hear your intuitive voice. Meditation is like priming the pump. As you get used to being in a meditative state, you will find that it is easier to hear the whispers from your soul and to distinguish these messages from other mental chatter. If you are new to meditation you might try sitting quietly and focusing your attention on a candle flame. When your awareness drifts (and it will), simply bring your attention gently back to the flame. You can also try focusing your attention on a short phrase or word (mantra) that you repeat over and over to yourself. Remember that the key is to gently bring your mind back to your focus point. Getting frustrated will only interfere with the process.

3. Imagery

 You can use imagery to help you access intuitive answers to your questions. Imagine yourself in a quiet place in nature, surrounded by beauty and wonder. Make this image as vivid as possible by using all of your senses. Spend a few moments simply enjoying this place in your mind’s eye. Then, imagine a treasure chest nearby. You feel excited as you approach the chest because you know that the answer to your question is inside. Take a deep breath and imagine yourself opening the treasure chest. Don’t try to control this, let your intuitive mind guide you. Trust that whatever is inside the chest is your answer. You might receive a very clear answer or you might get a symbol that doesn’t make logical sense to you. Either way, it is exactly what you need. Trust that if the answer is not clear right away, it will become clear over time. Over the next few days, be open to feelings, songs, conversations, or any synchronistic events. Be patient! If you become frustrated or try to force an answer, you will block the flow of intuition.

4. Dreams

 While you are sleeping and your conscious mind is at rest, your soul has the opportunity to bring intuitive information to you through your dreams. When you are working on a problem and looking for your intuitive guidance, take some time before you fall asleep to ask for an answer to come to you through your dreams. Be sure to keep a journal by your bed so that you can record your dreams the moment you wake up. Your answers may come symbolically and may need some interpretation. Look for the emotions and themes of your dreams and see if this sheds light on your problem. If the answer still is not clear, be patient and remain open. You may find more clarity with time.

5. Affirmations

You can use affirmations to focus your mind. It is best to use affirmations with some form of relaxation (such as deep breathing) in order to get the combined effects of a relaxed body and focused or centered mind. Affirmations are a terrific way to tap into the power of your subconscious mind to help you reach your conscious desires. Affirmations should be concise sentences stated in a positive way. When creating an affirmation remember to state what it is that you want, not what you don’t want. Another important guideline is to always use the present tense when creating your affirmations. The following are a few examples of affirmations to increase your intuitive abilities. I trust my intuition. My intuitive voice is consistently accurate. I access my intuition easily.

6. Practice

It is important to practice using your intuition. When you first start practicing you may want to begin with small issues that do not have a significant impact on your life. For example, try to guess who is calling before you pick up your phone. Guess which elevator will show up first when you are standing in front of a bank of elevators. Practicing with these simple issues will allow you to stay relaxed and focused without too much distraction from fear or other mental chatter. As you practice, you will get better at recognizing your intuitive impulses and you will gain confidence in using this skill. The more confident you feel about identifying your intuitive voice, the more you will trust it and be able to act on it. As you practice using your intuition and build your skill, you will find that your intuitive voice is a precious resource – an indispensable gift. You can use this inner wisdom to guide you in all of your decisions at work, at home, and at play. The more you use and trust your intuition, the stronger it will get and the more confident you will feel about it. The whispers from your soul will always guide you to the path that is for your highest good.

I’m off to start practicing and start listening!

X

Got that Monday feeling… Happy!

It has been a mad few days and I guess that’s not a bad thing and means that I am blessed to have many friends and family to see before Christmas.

Friday night we got glammed up and went to Pete’s work Christmas party. The team at VTUK this year have been amazingly supportive and remain my biggest sponsors for my chosen charities.  There was much banter and dancing with great food and company.  It was another opportunity to be in a situation without the need for alcohol too. It was lovely to wake on Saturday feeling fresh.

Saturday we hopped in the car and visited my oldest friend and her husband in their new home. We had a quiet snugly day watching reality TV shows and having home cooked vegan cooking. It was very welcome as I have a huge appetite at the moment! I think I have hollow legs.

Yesterday was a real treat too. We were meeting friends in London at Winter Wonderland but luckily had an impromptu meeting with my mum and sister who were up for the weekend as well as my aunt and uncle whom I rarely see. We walked around the streets of London taking in the Christmas decorations whilst Pete went off on his own buying me a few Christmas pressies! Eek!

In the afternoon it was as if we were back in Germany when we visited the Bavarian Great Hall with our friends that we met in Ibiza this year. It’s so surreal to be sitting there when we had only met a few months earlier abroad. We sang to dodgy après ski songs and Pete had a cheeky bratwurst with mustard.Ha ha!

Sigh… what a fun filled weekend.

This week is my last week of working before Christmas and I am feeling the pressure a little. There is so much to be done but I am certain it will all pan out just fine. I also have to fit in doing this week’s module for my health coaching course.

The course has been going well and I am really starting to enjoy it. Last week the module was made for me with the diet focusing on the benefits of veganism. It stated the risks at eating any animal products but especially red meats. There is scientific evidence that eating meats can increase your risk of canSer. We also covered the benefits of mushrooms… See my earlier blog for the information on that; http://www.triplenegative.co.uk/blog/post/2013/12/11/Shrooms-the-power-house-of-beating-canSer.aspx

As part of my course I have to have 6 conference calls to America which are known as coaching circles. I join other students and the conversation is led by our mentor. I was very dubious about this and actually a bit nervous. I didn’t think I would gain much from it but being the good student I joined the call. I have to say I found it really interesting hearing other peoples stories and also shared my own. I am looking forward to the next one and I think it will be really helpful as the course gets more complicated to bounce questions off each other.

I’m feeling a little tired today. I am still full of cold although I don’t feel ill. (It’s very sticky! Too much information?!) We didn’t sleep very well last night so I am hoping after an Epsom bath tonight I will have a sound night preparing me for tomorrow.

I have been noticing a lot of triple negative news has been focusing on immunotherapy and dendritic cell therapy. I have been doing a bit of research and notice there are many studies around the UK for other canSers using DC therapy. I am keen to ask Prof Harris and Dalgliesh to see if there are any that I can go on. Failing that maybe there is someone on the UK doing it now as it looks to me like it is possible to patent the vaccinations as seen from the US. I am trying to make life easier and as much as I love going to Germany money doesn’t grow on trees. I am also going to dedicate time to seeing if there is any way I can get funding of any kind to help with my treatment costs.  I will keep you updated with anything I come across.

Right well, I best get on as I have now done my coffee enema, heat and air, rebounding, yoga, meditation and had my juice and supplements. Phew! It feels like I have been up for hours… oh I have! Ha ha!

Here’s a challenge for you. Why not name today Meatless Monday? Following the module last week going vegetarian or vegan may too much for you to take on especially if you love your meat! But how about introducing one day a week, let’s say Mondays, as being completely meat free! There are plenty of websites with vegetarian recipes on or alternatively replace meat with organic soy or fermented soy such as tempeh, or alternatively opt for a lovely soba noodle stir fry with lots of fresh veggies.

One last thought for the day… Be happy.  This is my favourite song right now. I challenge you not to be happy after listening to it!

Here it is: Pharrell Williams- Happy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Sxv-sUYtM

Have a great day!

Light and Love

Claire

X

‘Shrooms.. the power house of beating canSer…

Well what a bumpy few days it has been. Last week was lovely but I felt really tired through not sleeping and spraining my ankle by falling off the mini trampoline stressed me out no end.

Then off we go for a really early start to Germany and on having treatment have a very bizarre reaction to the gamma delta serum. Well that’s what they think. Until they have done research that’s what we are lead to believe. I felt really rough and very distressed at the time. I kept pulling faces to bear whilst the doctor’s backs were turned. Bless him. He was all wide eyed. All I know was that I didn’t like it and I was scared.

Then on arriving home I go and get a stinking cold! Argh… I thought oh its fine I can handle a little head cold. I have blitzed these out of the park before they really take hold. No such luck. I am full to the brim with a blocked nose, plenty of mucus and my worse scenario, a chesty cough.

I won’t let it beat me. I have this morning continued as normal with my routine and that included exercise. I know the importance of exercise on keeping canSer at bay. So against all my bodily instincts I bounced and boxed. I then did a coffee enema and used the neti pot. It was a bit hard having blocked sinuses but I think it has actually helped loosen everything up.

I had a call from the DTU at my hospital informing me that my blood test came back fine and I am good to continue with chemo tomorrow. I told them I was feeling grotty but they said as long as I haven’t had a fever then its fine to continue.

I am working as hard as possible to get rid of this lurgy. I am drinking cold busting juices of ginger, apple, and lemon as well as loading up on green juices with supplements and powders.

I have, during all this, been doing homework for the nutrition course. It is really interesting at present as we are focussing on the vegan diet and I also watched a lecture on nutrition and canSer. It couldn’t be more appropriate for me. One thing really stood out and that is how important mushrooms are for fighting canSer. I already knew they were good having been prescribed reishi and chaga which are the king and queen of antioxidants. But I also find out that the regular button mushroom is also beneficial and that mushrooms as a whole can stop angiogenesis. Angiogenesis is the process where new blood vessels are grown and this is how tumours grow by producing more blood vessels. Well mushrooms stop this from happening and prevent abnormal cells from obtaining blood they need to replicate and grow.  Crazy right? But amazing! This is where you have to be careful with diets. The ph miracle says that mushrooms are one of the worst acid forming foods there is. Well thankfully I decided not to take any notice of this and went with my gut when prescribed mushrooms. I have also been prescribed coriolus and cordyceps. Well I am in… and mushrooms are delicious and now I can’t get enough of them!

This week is pretty busy but my main is for my ankle to get better and stop the bruising and to get rid of this annoying cold. Mission accepted.

Guest blog by Bear.. Gamma Delta

I guess by now, you know that if it’s a Bear Blog, then it hasn’t been a good day.

 

We are in Germany for treatment and we had two main objectives today. Firstly to unravel the tapestry of inconsistencies that have accrued over the last 4 months and then to have a successful gamma delta cell treatment.

 

The good news is that we achieved one of those goals. Dr Nesselhut (Jr) was very candid with us and we are now able to understand the reasoning behind decisions in respect of treatment levels. If that all sounds a bit MI5 it’s because it is sensitive and not really for release. The most important confirmation is that Claire has not suffered any degradation in treatment and matters are now being addressed, so onwards and upwards. The bitter sadness was again present though when the explanation of where the donor cells Claire had last time became apparent. Donor dells are only available if they are not “used”. Being a bit think skinned, I then managed to ask “Why wouldn’t they be used?” It’s a canSer clinic Bear – why did I think they weren’t used. Have never felt so sick.

 

Achieving point 2 proved a lot more problematic.

 

Having confirmed that this time the Zometa (chemical used to infuse the cells – that destroyed mine last time due to a fault) was good and I had managed to donate a good amount of cells for Claire we prepared to administer the vaccine. The dendritic vaccine was to be given afterwards directly into the lung intravenously and half under the skin of the arm.

 

Claire was attached to the automated chemo style syringe dispenser and the doctor and nurses said see you in 30 minutes. Almost immediately Claire felt pain in her chest that spread from the front to between her shoulder blades. Being a hard east end girl she told me to “leave it” and let the treatment continue. After about 20ml of solution and about half way through, I noticed other symptoms and realised she was going into shock.

 

The medical staff were awesome. They arrived like a battalion of winged archangels and immediately realised that she was having an extreme allergic reaction that was enduring shock. Her blood pressure was dropping and they feared cardiac arrest.

 

By now Claire was pretty much unaware of what was happening but she was administered an anti histamine, calcium and another drug via oral spray that I could not catch the name of.

 

This seemed to do the trick and her pressure to was restored. However by now she resembled Will Smith in Hitch and had swollen lips, puffy itching and watering eyes and her skin was so red and hot it looked like it may split. Even more oddly the injection spot used for the last DC vaccine had come up on her arm like a golf ball.

 

We all sat back and waited. After about 45 minutes Claire could speak and was (can you believe it) “keen” to crack on with the treatment. As she put it “That’s £5000 of my cells in that syringe and I want them!”

 

Needless to say the Doctor refused this request and sent the remaining vaccine to the lab for a thorough investigation. It is a real mystery as she had donor GD cells last month and it was fine. In true German joke style the doc told Claire, “you are allergic to your husband – yes?” (many a true word said in jest)

 

He also refused to administer the dendritic vaccine into the lung and couldn’t use the arm as this still resembled a lunar landscape, so he injected it into the stomach. How that didn’t make me sick I’ll never know.

 

We then had to wait another 45 minutes to make sure she wouldn’t turn into the Incredible Hulk before a mad dash back to Hanover airport. She is still a very poorly bunny but a night in her own bed and some loving hugs should put her right, while we wait with baited breath for the lab results.

 

How amazing if this turned out to be the sequence of events the actually created a cure? I wait for my little miracle to happen. Bye – Bear

Unpacking and packing again ready for Germany trip…

I’m back home again. I left mum’s this morning to beat the Saturday shopping traffic. I arrived to an empty house and have been pottering until my man arrived home.

I have been unpacking and re packing again. Tomorrow we head off at some ungodly hour to get to Heathrow for a flight to Germany for my next round of dendritic cell therapy and gamma delta therapy… (Hoping the lab work is good this time and Pete’s cells can be used.)

This wouldn’t normally be a problem but as per there is always a spanner trying to get in the works. This morning it has been reported there are huge issues with flights due to a technical issue at Swanwick traffic air control. There have many cancellations. Oh well I guess we will have to wait and see. At 4am tomorrow I will have to check online and go to the airport. If it looks like it is cancelled then we have to hop in the car and drive to Germany. It’s not like we can afford to miss out on the treatment. The vaccinations will be ready and if not used we will still be charged for them.

Usually I would be getting up tight about this but we have been in this position before, last year when flights were cancelled due to ice on the runway. Luckily our flight went anyway.

The other reason why I am not getting uptight is because I am actually feeling a bit run down and tired. I find it hard to believe I feel this way after having such lovely days at mum’s but I didn’t sleep at all the whole time. I simply do not sleep when I am not with my Bear. Sad but true.

I awoke to a sore throat this morning and now I have a sniffly nose. As soon as I got home I had a ginger and lemon shot and have downed a huge glass of green juice consisting of cucumber, celery, cavalo nero with green powders, e3 live and flaxseed powder. I am trying to fill my body up with extra goodness. I already have my pyjamas on and have decided I will be resting on the sofa this afternoon with a movie and tonight the TV is going off early and I am going to try and sleep at 8pm.

I am as always a little excited and apprehensive about going for this treatment. I have such high hopes and can only hope it helps me fight and be stronger. All I have been thinking recently is that my body can beat this.

A good friend of mine who I have got to know through having canSer has been keeping in touch recently and has been told that his canSer has reduced by 80%. He has questioned his doctors on seeing his CT scans as to know what they are interpreting. Because he has canSer near his spine and they are unsure what to do next treatment wise he has been granted a special CT scan.

This is what my friend Wayne said; how do they diagnose from such poor images and how much is open to interpretation?

Well now New CT scan technology can provide very detailed HD type views in 3D of all organs and even shows detailed images of arteries etc … yippee 🙂

 

This scanner is the ‘Aquillion ONE CT scanner’ these are not the CT scans used as a general rule in most hospitals but there are not many of them around.

Please read more below;

 

http://www.healthscanlife.com/body_scan_technology.html

 

I have always had issues with CT scans and I am always wondering what they are interpreting and would love to go down this road. It costs £1500 to have privately but they do offer it at the Royal Marsden Hospital. This has got me thinking and I may now ask if I can have one too. I don’t want to miss out! Ha ha!

Right I’m off to watch a bit of rugby and Harry Potter. I have everything crossed that everything goes swimmingly tomorrow.

A week of mum, Christmas shopping and more….

I have been missing blogging/journalling these last few days. I haven’t been avoiding doing it I’ve just been busy -living.

Tuesday I was back up the hospital to have blood tests again ready to start day eight of chemo on Thursday. Straight from there I went to see my pranic healer then onto have reflexology. What a lucky girl and it couldnt have been better timing what with my sore ankle.

Wednesday after my rituals I packed up my car and hit the road, Jack. Arriving at mums house in the afternoon ready for a few days of mum love.

Of course I hate being away from my hubby but it’s good to catch up and spend time with your nearest and dearest too. I’d actually say its essential!

There has been plenty of Christmas shopping (maybe a bit for me too!) walking as well as squeezing in  my course work for the health coaching course I am studying. In fact I had an Epsom salt bath whilst watching a lecture the other night!

I have missed my Bear and I am thankful as there is only one more night apart. I don’t like going to bed without him, so I’m feeling very tired but I don’t mind, I have had a lovely time.

 

 

Wednesday I got a call from the hospital telling me my bloods are absolutely fine. I’m loving the service at present. I rarely have nurses call me!

Yesterday I took the anti sickness tablets followed by the 5 chemo tablets. I always have trepidation because I hope I’m not going to feel sick. It’s all in my head.. Today a day later, I feel fine. I felt fine all day yesterday and can only assume that I must be doing something right!

 

 

 

Last night I caught up with a really good friend who I haven’t seen since the summer. Hours fly by when you are chatting and I felt enriched for the time together.

The benefits of spending time with loved ones is insurmountable. There is evidence to show those that spending time with family and friends live longer than those who are lonely.

So that’s that then, there is no excuses not to keep in touch and let’s face it both parties get so much out of spending time together.

Every morning since I have been here mum and I have meditated, done some yoga and exercised. This morning we did a Davina McCall DVD. It feels so funny ever since we met Davina. She is so full of energy and positivity. Love her. What an amazing way to start the day.

Back to the shops this morning for our last bits and bobs for Xmas then off to visit my sister. That was lovely too especially coming home with a gift.. Totally unexpected. The universe can be so good to me! Yippee!

So I am currently sitting in mums kitchen. We’ve just finished eating her homemade vegetable soup and now we are experimenting with making blueberry muffins with coconut flour, almond milk and coconut palm sugar. They don’t look great but things don’t always go right first time.

How do I feel? I feel good. My homework has been asking a lot about what I want to achieve in life. I am a little flaky on this. I don’t really feel I have definite goals. Of course I want to complete the course and become a health coach. I want to earn a good salary but my biggest desire is to be healthy and ultimately canSer free. I’m wondering If I took that out of my thoughts if I would be clearer on my other desires. I just keep thinking I just want to be happy. But what would make me happy? It all goes back to being in perfect health, working at home with clients, having a few trips abroad seeing parts of the world I have never seen, spending regular time with my family and friends. Not much I don’t think. I don’t want for anything. I am so lucky in that respect. I want a nice house and garden and a future to live with my hubby til we are old and grey. I think you want less when you have been faced with canSer. It really puts things into perspective.

I feel almost complete. I just need to stay healthy. Other than that I’m really happy and achieving all the things I desire.

I’m going to miss mum when I go home in the morning and I never want to leave but I am looking forward to my own bed,my kitty and most of all my gorgeous hubby…. Upcited!!!!

 

Feeling Christmassy…… Happy first advent for yesterday X

We made a flying visit to Duderstadt this time and high tailed it to Cologne. We stayed there about a year ago but this time it was better because of the Christmas markets! No one does Christmas like the Germans and in Cologne there were about seven markets full of Christmas cheer and so many smells and foods and drinks and gifts and musicians playing. We have had two days of lapping up happiness and it feels so good to really let our worries go just for now.

That’s what life is all about…But… You know me I love going home.

We made an epic journey yesterday all the way to the UK and once home got stuck into getting Christmassy here. Pete went hunting and gathering for our tree and although it is not decorated yet it feels so special here already. We dug out candles and sang some Christmas carols for the first advent.

Now I’m settled it’s back to work for a few days before we fly back to Germany next week for the actual vaccinations.I have so much to be thankful for and it’s lovely how Pete and I miss each other today already. (Is this making other people sick?! Ha-ha!)

It’s funny you never know what’s round the corner… I leaped and bounded this morning and then fell of my rebounder spraining my ankle! Doh.. I have RICE’d it and it seems fine. I will not let this stop me. I have to exercise its good for my health even if it’s dangerous!