Last week was supposed to be a week of chilling out. Under orders from Pete who cleverly suggested that avoiding close contact with lots of clients would be beneficial straight after surgery. I felt initially like I should work as I felt well enough but then I actually felt rubbish all week. Typically.
I couldn’t put my finger on it. I felt incredibly teary, maybe from hormones. I ached where I hit my head and my arm/ vaccination site was causing me issues at night too. I started the interleukin two injections Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and as Prof D informed me I did feel quite fluey at night. This didn’t help sleep either. I just felt pretty miserable and off beat.
I kept myself busy instead of sitting around which wasn’t what I was supposed to do but it meant I could get things done and visit people that I don’t normally get a chance to. In that respect last week was great.
But then I visited Ray, the old man that we have taken care of for too many years! You might remember me mentioning him. He has moved to a lovely, care home where he will never be lonely, without food or a doctor near by should he need it. Peter has been brilliant in visiting him regularly and unsurprisingly Ray is unhappy with his new home. It would be too much to ask for him to be grateful or happy.
Trying to help Pete last Friday I offered to pop in to see him. Pete was maxed at work and I wanted to do something to help the load at least. Well, I skipped into the lovely residence only to be met by Rays locked door and told to bugger off! How nice. He didn’t realise it was me but when he did he seemed really happy to see me. It felt good and I was pleased I had made him smile. But this lasted about ten seconds. He realised he had an audience and proceeded to moan, make up stories and slate me and Pete for about an hour. Now I know old people can be that way but I don’t think is any excuse for that behaviour. Reluctantly I told him I had to leave when he was pointing his finger at me telling me people don’t like me. What can you do eh? I left feeling violated as I had sat there trying not to comment or defend myself. I was red and flustered and poor Pete felt terrible when I told him.
I got home and had some more tears… It must be hormones! It was ok though because soon I had a big cuddle inbound from the Bear. The weekend was chilled as we visited Pete’s sister and then yesterday did some gardening. I felt really happy and could feel the cloud lifting.
We have tried to work out what people like Ray are trying to teach us and why they are still in our life. We have come to the conclusion that you can’t please everybody no matter what lengths you go to.Then I saw this article this morning;
Today I am back to work. I have four new clients and I will be working into the evening. I feel better in myself and I am looking forward to working.
I had a great start to the day when I opened my front door to find a bunch of beautiful flowers and a card from client. She said that after wallowing in self pity all weekend she thought of me and that inspired her to pick herself up and get on with things. I am glad I helped give her a kick up the bum. Sometimes it’s ok to wallow but moving on and getting on with things is the way forward.
The interleukin 2 injections have left quite itchy raised lumps in the injection sites on my tummy. This is a good sign that the immunity is responding. I so hope that it is being reflected inside. My next ct scan is booked for the end of July, so I will find out then.
Right, off I go to get started on lots of pairs of eyebrows!
Light and love!