I cannot believe it has been two weeks since I wrote a blog. This time of the year seems to fly as everyone tries to catch up before Christmas. It’s such a crazy time. We have had the pleasure of celebrating our good friend’s wedding recently so it seems there is so much to celebrate! I love celebrating!
On the very evening of our friend’s wedding party Pete and I sloped off to bed whilst many were still partying. Getting ready for bed we listened to the news and it was then we were faced with the atrocities in Paris. It seems so close to home. I find all this chaos so hard to comprehend. What is the world coming to? What has happened to humanity?
I am so confused with this life. I and many others, too many, are fighting to stay alive and then there is the lack of respect for life with all the bombings, shootings, beheadings and many more sick ways to die. I don’t get it…..My little brain is tingling with confusion. I love ignorance and wish so much that I didn’t have to face this sad world we live in.
We are being faced with pharmaceutical companies keeping us sick and charging the Earth for drugs which could save lives, if only we could afford them. We have people killing each other daily, around the world….For once I feel relieved that I do not have a baby or child. How could I begin to think they will live a long and fruitful life? The world isn’t going to suddenly improve overnight and it’s going to get worse before it gets better.
But in my little world life is still going on. I am still planning my next treatment and hoping we can find the money to keep going. In a few weeks I return to Frankfurt to see Prof Vogl for another TACE session. I have today emailed Dr Nesselhut again as he said he wanted me to be referred for photodynamic therapy with a doctor in Germany. I haven’t yet heard anything so as usual I start chasing.
I have generally been feeling well. I am eating my way through anything green and having supplements to improve the mild anaemia that I have. My hair is growing back at quite a rate so I am starting to look like I have a skin by choice now.
I have had lots of social time in the last week, visiting my mum and getting the Christmas shopping started. This weekend we had our good friends and their baby visit. The weekend was spent laughing and chilling out together. The temperature has dropped so it was the first time for the fire to be used. All that was missing was the Christmas tree! The diary is filling up and it seems 2015 is flying by in front of us.
This year really has been extremely memorable and whilst we have had so much love and happiness, it has also been a very strange year. People are being a little odd. I am not sure if it the super moons, but people’s energies and actions have been unusually odd. That’s all I can describe it as……
I say it quite often but I definitely feel a shift in energy. For me life is so peculiar. I can’t help wonder what I would be doing if I wasn’t ill. Life has felt quite ‘normal’ recently. I have been trying (trying being the operative word, I am not sure if I just make things worse!) to help Pete with his work recently until new staff arrive. It has at least given me something to get ‘made up’ for and to leave the house. I would stay make up free and in my gym kit all day otherwise.
I do want to stay stress free and I do want to get fitter. I do need focus and I also need to constantly keep my eyes open for new developments. I would love to be know that the treatments is working on a long term basis and that I do not have to TACE every month, and that Nesselhuts vaccines could have longer gaps in between appointments. That’s the excitement in our life. Not knowing what the next three months bring. Right now I am not going to dwell. I am going to observe what the world is doing and pray that it gets better. I really looking forward to Christmas and the holidays.
Live in the present and look forward to the future, not making too many plans, too far ahead.
I need more iron in my diet so I am off to make some kale soup…..