I wanted to talk to all the friends and family. Living with canSer takes a lot of adjustment and understanding and from all of the brave ladies that I talk too, something becomes very clear. Firstly they are all the loveliest, loyal people I have ever met, but also that when faced with death they hold on tightly.
They hold onto family, to friends , to favourite foods, to places and in the case of Claire to her beloved “bawsquit” (that’s a bed by the way) and teddy bears. I have see this time and again and its just like gripping onto sand, the harder you squeeze the more seems to run out. Husbands, boyfriends and above all friends.
Obviously we are all going to die, but that’s not front and centre in peoples thinking and I even understand, that it my be to much to have that image before you, when all you want to think about is life. Then add onto that the change in character, especially with brain mets. Passionate to the extreme, easily hurt, as disloyalty is expected and actively sought. A lot of people can’t cope with this kind of intensity and love.
But you should know this, one day that will be you. Hopefully old and in your own bed. You will need love and you will be heartbroken if you are disrespected, deceived or worse lied to. So if you cant cope then please just leave kindly and don’t hurt someone when they are so vulnerable, because when you do you become part of death not life.
To everyone out there who is feeling alone and for whom fear and darkness are becoming to much, know that we are here, that we love you and that a simple message can bring you love, truth and the understanding you need to know that life just “is” and you have made it a beautiful part of your journey.