Again today started with the feel good factor. Since the last round of chemo my finger nails have practically fallen off. As we are attending a wedding next week I decided its about time to feel ‘groomed’ and girly again. They look great!
I then had to go to hospital to meet a doctor to discuss a possible trial. The trial combines two well known chemo drugs Cisplatin and Capecitebine with a new drug. The trial is phase I and it’s call a FACING trial. The aim is to see how the new drug reacts with the other two, the side effects as they increase the dosage.
They would need to do lots of tests to begin with; liver and kidney function, blood tests etc. 3-4 days to begin then monitored weekly initially. I told the doc I’m going to be away quite a bit and I’m not prepared to forfeit life over the trial. He understood. The alternative is standard chemo which is to be discussed with the oncology team. At this point I’m feeling less than enthusiastic. He went off to print information and came back with ‘my’ folder. He said ‘your test results from your CT scan are in from yesterday’. I felt sick. I hadn’t thought I’d get the results until after my week away when I’m booked to see the oncologist next. I didn’t want to know before but now faced with them in the brown file, I couldn’t say No.
The report was a bit vague.
All five pulmonary nodules have increased in size for example 6mm to 11mm.
The para tracheal nodes have all increased n size. WHAT!!!!!! What para tracheal nodes? Apparently they were present on the 2nd Julys scan but they didn’t tell me! All sub 1cm in size. The doc said maybe because they are so small they didn’t bother telling me!? I said I want to know exactly how many and all their sizes.
Moving on from that bombshell a new node in the Hilar region is necrotic. Hilar is in the chest region and necrotic means dead. Yes- dead!
The doc said they are not sure why it would be dead as I’m not receiving any chemo.
I just walked out thinking so my diet, exercise, positive mind, supplements and maybe the treatment from Germany could already be working?
The good news was they say it hasn’t spread to my liver, spleen or kidneys.
Of course Pete and I were initially upset. I had hoped for a miracle- that the growth had stopped or even they had fully gone. But as reminded by Pete the German docs said it was too soon for the DC and the NDV to have shown to be working so soon.
Well I still feel as well as I did and after being coached by my Bear we put our minds to Marbella.
All packed and off to see friends get married. Can’t wait!