Treatment number 4- Day one

We arrived in Duderstadt around lunchtime after a lazy weekend in Cologne. The weather is getting colder and feels like snow is on its’ way. Before my appointment at Dr Nesselhuts’ clinic we wandered around the little boutique stores and purchased our first Christmas presents. I’ve made a decision not to feel so pressured in the whole Christmas prep this year and to ‘go with flow’. It’s actually really satisfying buying things without a list and with love rather out of a need and urgency. I like it…..

Cindy treated me today. I find it hard to stay awake having the heat and air treatment these days but I did notice the intensity of the heat being increased every 15 minutes. It doesn’t actually feel hot but my body sort of vibrates and pulses in my gums etc. it’s not uncomfortable at all. The NDV injection on the other hand does! Yowzer! If I wasn’t awake before it, I am after!

I asked Cindy what happens after my last vaccination tomorrow. She said that if my scan comes back saying the canSer is stable then maybe in 3-6 months I may go back for another vaccination to give my immune system a boost. She said Dr Nesselhut would advise.

Back to our ‘home from home’ for a hearty German meal then an early night. I’m not sleeping well lately. I’m hot and sweaty (nice!) and having vivid dreams. A scary thought went through my mind that maybe it’s symptoms of the menopause bought on due to the chemo…I hope not. The thought of really having no chance of being a mum due to the menopause does put a bit of a downer on it. Of course it’s unlikely I can have a baby but who knows?!


Anyway one last thing- sad as it is we had English tv in Cologne. We again sadly watched the X Factor last night… What a complete farce!!!!! I’ll say no more on the matter.


Ha ha! Me feeling balanced?!

I had acupuncture today and although I thought I was feeling pretty good Michael said he thought my pulse seemed stressy but not for long.. as once he had finished he felt it was strong again.

I had a double appointment with him today as the second half of the session was on ‘focussing’. Once explained it seems that focussing is very similar to the techniques in the book I have just read called ‘The Journey’. Fundamentally focussing means you listen to how your body feels and not your head. I closed my eyes and Michael relaxed me by talking me down a bit like meditation. Then asks me if anything comes up, anything I want to pay attention to, any feelings, visions or anything. Things like this are really hard generally. Some poeple have lots bubbling inside and others don’t. For me I found it quite difficult probably because I am feeling quite balanced at the moment (Ha! That’s laughable with all the spontaneous tears but for me I’m feeling quite balanced! :)) Once really trusting myself I did start to feel things. Initally I felt like my heart and blood were rushing round my body, really loud in my ears and almost like my body was moving in time with it. Then I felt really excited, fit to burst! I don’t know why I couldn’t explain it but I had lots of colours and the picture of pegasus bursting right out of me with bright golden light! (I know, I am weird!) Then once that passed I felt like energy was moving downwards from my tummy to below my navel. I started to feel sadness, and teared up (no surprise there then!) Then moving on I felt tired and my legs and arms were having like I had been exercising. There a few moments of peace and calmness and I did feel better. It sounds like the feelings were very obvious but they weren’t- it was all very subtle. I don’t know if things like it work but I do understand that we create habits and personalities with things, that we say and do and trying to release ‘old’ emotions let’s us move on and become happy and free.

I really believe in that. I believe that my fear of public speaking and not wanting to do games or anything that will embarrass me comes from some hang up I must have created when I was younger. And it could be that it isn’t the fear of standing up in front of people and making a mistake or blushing but that it could be a fear of not being perfect and being criticised. The blushing thing happened once probably and because I associate it with public speaking or taking risks and being out of my ‘comfort zone’ I now blush every time I am in that situation. In fact the problem probably just lies with me not wanting to try that bit harder and that people aren’t being critical.. (Tell you what that fear is going to get a hammering later this month! Eek!) That’s just an example.

Now I am not one to ever say I had any traumas as a child, I always I say I had the best up bringing a girl could want. I have 4 brothers and 1 sister and you would think that would mean I got all the hand-me-downs but because of the age difference when we relocated when I was 11 years old it meant I was like an only child because all of my siblings had moved out. Bonus! Spoilt rotten. 🙂 But was it all hunky dory? Why is it then that I cannot get my dad out of my head? And why was it that the medium asked me twice if my father is in the spirit world? Oh crap.. what ‘stuff’ do I need to get rid off to release myself and change old thoughts and habits?

Anywho… I felt today was really good and a great skill to use regularly on each other- yes Pete -sorry your turn next!

I have finally received a reply from Professor Dalgliesh regarding the microwave treatment. After two months of having my scan, the radiologist has decided that ‘due to proximity of the lesions that the treatment would not be useful at this time’. I am of course not surprised. I had a feeling that now was not the time for it. But, I keep plugging with things that may help me long term. I think for now I will just focus on my plans over the next few weeks; Germany on Monday and Tuesday and then reiki the following week as well as acupuncture, reflexology and reading and self development. I plan to drink less alcohol as I am sure that cannot be doing me much good stripping me of my goodness (nutritionally not personally!)

I am willing this all so much that I don’t want to forget to enjoy myself. I have been feeling so much love and happiness I really don’t want my head to take over and ruin all the fun! The point of it is this; I am to focus on how I feel NOW. That is easy, I feel great. I am to focus on what I do each day is the best that I can do- Great I can answer that- I feel much calmer and less hard on myself. Infact I haven’t written a list of to-do’s in a few weeks! I must ignore what the next scan I have says to some degree because now is that matters. Keep it simple. My biggest rule in life. The only thing I need to drum into my head is to trust myself. I am doing everything right at the best of my ability.

I love to draw so here’s a little pic I did last night ‘The importance of a cat in meditation’… 🙂

Night! X

‘Mushroom of immortality’ and Second Opinions rolled into one

I have been fortunate enough to have contact with Dr Ellen Copson who is a Senior Lecturer in Medical Oncology and Honorary Medical Oncology Consultant for the UHS Foundation NHS Trust since I was told the canSer has metasised. She allows me to email her with questions and mostly reinforces what I have already been told.

She has emailed to suggest that I may benefit from a second opinion and has given me the name of a breast cancer oncologist in London. I find this really helpful knowing that I could seek the opinion of another specialist if needed. It’s also surprising that we are entitled to a second opinion on the NHS. I am certain that most of us wouldn’t have known this and it just proves how much is available to us if we knew about it. If I want to proceed with this all I have to do is ask my GP to fax a referral letter to him.. Simplezzz. I may just do that.

It is only a few weeks til I go to visit Dr Kate James for a couple of days of therapy. Her approach is through diet, supplements, Chinese medicine, acupuncture, (EFT) Emotional Freedom Techniques and more. She has suggested I start taking chaga and reishi mushroom supplements. First impressions are they taste disgusting! But of course I will persevere with them of course especially since I researched them.


has been used to strengthen the immune system, detoxify the body and to extend the span of life. This fungus was been documented as early as 4,600 years ago in Chinese medicine where it earned the names: “King of the Herbs” and “A Gift from God”. It is used for the treatment of many forms of cancers and tumors in the Siberian regions. Due to their regular consumption of Chaga, these indigenous people have very low oncologic diseases. Many of them have been documented to live for over 100 years. WOW!


is hailed in ancient Eastern medicine as the “mushroom of immortality” and the “medicine of kings,”. This immune-boosting mushroom also works wonders in the prevention and treatment of cancer, as the T-cells are then able to fight cancer cells more effectively. However, reishi may help the body defeat cancer in not just one, but four ways. In addition to boosting the immune system, the glucan in reishi helps immune cells bind to tumor cells. Many experts believe that it also actually reduces the number of cancerous cells, making it easier for T-cells and macrophages to rid the body of them. Another substance in reishi, called canthaxanthin, slows down the growth of tumours.


As a result of these amazing anti-cancer abilities, laboratory research and traditional medicinal usage of reishi to fight cancer is so positive that the Japanese government officially recognizes it as a cancer treatment! This is enough of an incentive to take them. Even if they simply stimulate my immune system. I have to admit I am feeling really well. Long may it continue.

Had a great start today… whilst doing a spot of yoga overlooking my garden a Red Admiral butterfly came to the door and fluttered in front of me for a while. That put a smile on my face. It made me think of my friend liking butterflies to me and their symbolism of celebration, change, positivity, freedom, fun and joyous times. Ye ha! I’m a butterfly baby!

What Supps!?

Spoke with Dr Kate James, the integrative practitioner yesterday. After having discussed my scan results with her we decided I would try some chinese medicine such as Reishi mushrooms. There has been many studies into these mushrooms and their anticancer abilities.

Reishi is a popular Chinese mushroom with an impressive array of reputed health benefits, including antioxidant properties. The dried powder was popular as a cancer chemotherapy agent in ancient China. Reishi is also known as Ganoderma lucidum – Lingzhi – or Ling Zhi.  Reishi clearly demonstrates anticancer activity in experiments with cancer cells and has possible therapeutic potential as a dietary supplement for an alternative therapy for breast and prostate cancer. And, it may enhance the immune response in those with end stage cancer. Study results showed that reishi mushroom and its polysaccharide constituents, especially triterpenes, inhibit the proliferation of a highly metastatic lung cancer cells through “apoptosis induction” and cell cycle arrest. Apoptosis, or programmed cell death, is a normal process that rids the body of unwanted, genetically damaged and cancerous cells.

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It may sound like a lot of supplements that I am taking but my body has been through so much and now it has to fight! I have 6- 8 weeks to make a difference and now I have been taking many supps for almost 3 months my body should definitely be resonding postiviely to it. I certainly feel well so that’s a great sign.

Yoga session tomorrow and I need it. After exercising this week I am so stiff!

I’m looking forward to the weekend with some girlfriends. I’m going to be chilling, eating and laughing a lot!

Feels like we have been here for ages.

Had my last session of NDV today with oncothermic treatment again. This time I inhaled ionised oxygen for the whole 50 minutes during the heat treatment. I felt very alive and full of energy when I finished and walked through town.

Tomorrow is our last day and treatments. We are both looking forward to going home. It feels like we have been here ages and although we really have settled in, there’s no place like home.

Something odd happened during my treatment today. Anyone reading this probably thinks I’m becoming all spiritual and airy fairy but I had a strong sense of pulling and energy surge just above my naval. I immediately felt like it must be my solar plexus chakra. I am trained as an holistic therapist and used to be in tune and very interested in treating the body and mind wholistically but over the years I have pushed it aside. Listening to my gut and deep breathing has reawakened colours and intuition. I feel more in control, more trusting of my decisions, a sense of calmness and really happy.

I’ve packed our bags already for our next leg of our journey back to Belgium tomorrow evening. It’s going to be a long day. Off to bed with my Bear. Night. X