Back from Dr Nesselhut……

I cannot believe it has been four days since I slept in my own bed and what a great night it was last night. We got home from Germany in double quick time. I have never been through Heathrow so quickly. No queue for passport control and our baggage was already going around the carousel when we walked in, then our bus came within two minutes and once in the car we were home within an hour of landing! Uh? I’m not complaining. It just made for a really great end to a lovely couple of days.

It’s always a bit odd being in Duderstadt during the days of treatment. The treatment itself only takes a few hours so there is so much time left to do what we please and let’s just say Duderstadt isn’t rammed with things to do and see. We always make the best of it and on this occasion we stayed in a lovely hotel in the centre of town which has only recently opened. I love hotels. I think if I could I would be a hotel and restaurant critic. I’m all about the little things. Well the hotel this time was trendy, funky and rammed full of extra value added bits and bobs. The best by far is their spa. Yes! A spa. Working within the beauty and relalxation therapies industry it isn’t often that I get to actually do some relaxing. Well as the weather was still very wintery we decided we would indulge ourselves. I spent time in the pool, saunas, steam room, the Himalayan salt oasis and even rubbed myself down with ice then had a whole heap of showers. Ones that were like a tropical storm which flashed with lightening and masses of cold then foggy spray! But going back to the Himalayan salt oasis. It wasn’t that hot, only about 30 degrees and behind the salt bricks  were lights that changed the mood in the room. Also known as ‘salt caves’ they are beneficial for curing chronic airway and nasal diseases. The healing properties that these salt caves provide have been effective enough to cure asthmatic patients and even those who suffer from other lung related diseases like pneumonia. In fact whilst in there not only were we drifting away to the chilled music and subtly hues but I did actually feel clearer. How perfect for me considering the canSer in my lungs! (See the picture attached) We finished our few hours of bliss with fruit and herbal teas. A perfect day and I couldn’t wait to do it again the next day after my treatment. Well I like to get my monies worth, plus it was minus 7 outside. Brrrr.

My vaccination was given to me by Dr Nesselhut senior and he was as lovely as usual. I love his little stories. Well actually they can go on a bit and as we were stretched for time it was one of those times when I wished he would give me the injection! I like to get as much info from him as possible and I am always amazed at his stories. This time he told us that he had treated a boy from Portugal who went into remission and far as they are concerned cured him of canSer. Firstly I’d like to add that immunotherapy in Portugal can be paid for by their health insurance! Wow this is so cool. How forward thinking. Anyway Dr Nesselhut was in London doing a speech as requested by Prof Dalgliesh and there was a Portuguese film crew there. They asked to film him in an interview because it turns out the little boy’s parents are well known Portuguese actors. He has done a whole interview about the treatment he provided and how in that particular case how he treated the boy. Dr Nesselhut really is amazing.


I am on day 14 of the Deepak Chopra meditation challenge and today the intention is to take steps each day toward perfect health. Well I think we would all agree that is really all I do! Ok I have days when I am bit naughty (if that’s what you want to call it) when I have cake and coffee. OK Germany is a bit of tease. It seems Sundays are huge on this tradition. One that I think we should adopt here!

I talk about sleep a lot. This is because as anyone would know, when you are under many changes and stress, sleep is the first thing to suffer and it has such a huge impact on how one feels. Staying in the Zum Lowen hotel this weekend had the best duvets, mattresses, and pillows –ok that makes a bed! But you know what I mean. It was nearly as good as the Heavenly bed I stayed in Berlin years ago. Seriously a Heavenly bed. Out of this world.  So in total I have had four great nights sleep of over ten hours a night. I thought as you got older one slept less. Well I must be regressing because I feel like a teenager who could sleep all day! This is not me complaining. I love it. My day goes better, I think better, I feel happier and I am sure my health is better for all the sleep and regeneration I get.

I have to admit my thoughts have been really buoyant for so long. I don’t have a terrible need to know what is going to happen anymore and I feel more relaxed that things may be ok. Well let’s correct that, I have a strong feeling that things will be ok. I don’t want to jinx it but that’s how I feel and it means I enjoy life more.

I have been getting ever more messages of support from friends and people how have found me on here and I am still getting more donations slowing coming in online. I am astounded. I am up to £4900 including gift aid so far! Whoop!

My friends have set a date for the Ladies Night Garden Party featuring raffle, products and services sold on the night. I reckon it will be a blast and they will make loads of money. It all helps go a long way!

I’ve yet again made more bracelets today and have a link going live on my website so that people can buy them online too. Take a look on the home page.

Pete has been getting Google alerts with news and research for triple negative. One day I will spend some time trying to sift through thrm all. It does seem not only with triple negative but other canSers too, that are getting ever closer to actual successes for individuals. I’m going to be success. I simply cannot imagine it being any other way. Not anymore. I feel so different to how I did even four months ago. Pete and I were discussing over the weekend that we feel canSer has actually had such a positive impact on our life. Who would have thought that? And how many other people feel that way? I really truly believe it has been the best thing to shake me up and wake me out of my ‘coma’ of what my life was before. Everything makes sense and I don’t feel like I am tumbling anymore. No one teaches you what life should be like because you are meant to find out for yourself and actually every stage of life we go through is ever changing. So who can teach you this? But the more I learn, read, listen and watch I realise life is so simple. And that is so funny as one of my mantras is ‘Keep life simple’.


Never felt so grateful and thankful.. and I did it!

It’s been a week already and I cannot believe how much has happened and how I have felt. As I mentioned before we were going on a skiing holiday and I was very nervous as I hadn’t been on top form, to say the least.
Well I needn’t have worried. The day we travelled to our Austrian Alp destination everything went swimmingly. Flights on time, luggage came out first, taxi waiting for us and the weather was gorgeous, therefore the traffic was brilliant. Our hotel welcomed us and we immediately got our room. Then we organised our skis and sat admiring the sunshine and view. We couldn’t wait to get skiing the following day.

This wasn’t to last…. a blizzard arrived over night. The temperatures plummeted and the winds were blasting. But we were on holiday, we had to ski. I must be mad. But we went out in extreme conditions for two days on the trot. Our faces were whipped with the wind and I couldn’t see a thing. One by one the chairlifts were being closed and skiing became near on impossible. But I didn’t moan, believe it or not! I just thought it will be fine. Pete is an amazing skier and I knew he would take care of me. We had a few falls but nothing major. Bizarrely enough I didn’t have any sickness and my appetite was good. Pete was a bit disappointed as he so wanted to have a good skiing holiday. I tried to keep his mood buoyant by bursting into song throughout the day. My song of choice, ‘Do you wanna build a snowman!?’ from the movie Frozen. It stuck for the whole week. It was ok though, we had a spa in our hotel which had a really cool outdoor pool surrounded by snow…. We used the facilities to the max.

Tuesday everything changed. We were promised better temperatures, lighter winds and even some sunshine. And then every day got better. We ended up having four days of glorious sunshine and perfect ski conditions. I can’t remember being so happy. The resort was lovely and we skied up to 30kms some days. I was out of breath but mainly through exercise, altitude and the adrenalin pumping around my body. I cannot believe I could actually do it. I didn’t think I was fit enough and I certainly cannot believe that only the week before I was light headed and feeling sick. I laughed continuously for the whole week, mainly when I was following Pete down a mountain and he accelerated so fast! It was brilliant. With weather like that we got to sunbathe on deckchairs and take in the view too.

On the last day Pete decided we would tick off all the pistes on the map that we hadn’t done this meant doing the hardest runs. I’m capable of doing the black runs, which are the hardest, I just don’t have the confidence or guts usually. I did them with some difficulty but then came a run that wasn’t technically a run and before I could change my mind I was screaming my way down the mountain and scaring another skier to death almost. Once I reached the bottom I was shaking all over! I never want to do that again… Pete just said he knew I could do it….Hmmmm.
The very last day and the very last piste I cried….I’m such a softy but I really felt so emotional. I couldn’t have been more grateful and thankful for having had such a wonderful week with the love of my life.

Being back is a bit strange although I do love it here. We slept like logs on our first night back. That was one thing we didn’t manage very well whilst away. Both of us hardly slept. We would wake in the middle of the night thinking and having weird dreams. I have always believed that the mountains give off a strange energy and I have always had trouble sleeping there. Now we are home I feel great at night…haha. I love my bed, I love my bed, I love my bed!
In my sleepless state my mind was rushing all over the place. I thought a lot about setting up a charity called the Grant Foundation, as Pete’s father died of cancer and both Pete and I have had cancer. We discussed trying to set up a clinic where others could obtain some of the treatments I currently have abroad. Of course this needs a lot of work and research. We also discussed raising more funds and thought maybe a ski challenge would be apt. Maybe skiing across the Austrian Alps within a time frame….Gulp… This needs some thought!

The fact I have been so well it did make me wonder if I should return to work seeing as I am hugely capable of getting on with things as I showed in Austria, but  having spoken to Pete I have decided to really try to recuperate. It was only a few weeks ago that I was feeling dreadful. I still don’t know if my bloods have improved and this could take time.

So what’s in the pipeline?
Today I am off to hospital for an MRI and CT scan. It’s only been about 10 weeks since my last but I need to know what’s going on before I can start any other treatment as well as wait for my bloods and immunity to improve. I don’t get the results until next week.

I have messaged Prof Vogl and advised that I will need to wait for this to happen until I go back to him again. He has urged me to go back but then he would.
Good news is my weight has increased, from eating so much Austrian hearty food. This is essential for me and I have to keep eating!

I have decided also that I want to start having therapies again. I had stopped for a long time but I just didn’t feel like receiving any treatments. But now I am ready to be balanced and strengthened and pampered just a little too. Tomorrow I am going for reflexology. I cannot wait.
Here a few snaps of our Austrian adventure…



What a difference a day makes…. From no visibility to pure sunshine.

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A weekend donated by The Willow Foundation.. heavenly…

 Bear and I have had yet another amazing time away together. This time it was the two of us in rural Cornwall. We stayed at Forest location in a wooden cabin just for the two of us. It feels like we are away a lot at the moment but we are simply trying to get the best out of life and at a normally dreary time of year. I simply can’t believe we only got back from Antigua about a week or so ago! It’s all a blur!

The reason this weekend was so good and memorable was that it was donated to me and Pete by The Willow Foundation. I was informed of this amazing charity by one of the ladies that did the Prima magazine shoot with me in the summer. She told me that I could get a ‘special day’ because I was between the age of 16 and 40 and have a life threatening illness. I was surprised that I could get something nice so I applied and the ladies at the foundation were brilliant. I had to verify my illness so the foundation contacted Prof Harris and it went from there.

My special day was chosen by me and I could have had pretty much anything I wanted to a degree. But I really felt that I wanted something low key and earthy. I booked it for January as I felt there wouldn’t be much on but how wrong I was! But it was definitely the right time to go.

Cornwall is so beautiful but at this time of year when it is crisp with blue skies yet cold… Pete and I just loved it. We thought it was a good opportunity to get started with my exercise and walking.

I have been feeling better and gradually doing away with the sickness and getting myself into taking supps and meds again. Since seeing the consultant last week who pretty much said it is probably my brain causing the nausea I thought, Heck it is! I have felt and allowed myself to feel nausea. I believed it was me being neurotic.
Since then I have been eating… a lot and have now got a formula that works for me to get most of my usual supps and meds inside me. I’m not doing all of them but I am doing what I think are the important ones. I will increase as I go along. I have been having the GcMAF yoghurt with blueberries and having a green juice, even though the last few days it has been a bought one so has some fruit in it. But the way I see it is its fresh, it should be building my iron levels and making me stronger.

I am unfit and it was proven at the weekend. We did some serious amounts of walking and where we had so much rain the coastal paths were very difficult to contend with. Luckily we were prepared with our clothes as we got covered in mud! it was a good start though and I don’t think it will take too long to build my fitness back again.
It was really refreshing not having communications either. There was little 3G and no Wi-Fi until we got to pubs nearby! I didn’t miss it at all.

The cabin was just lovely, as it had its own hot tub and stove fire. When we returned each day we jumped in the hot tub usually with very little on but a woolly hat! It was so relaxing and we took all our own food so ate what we wanted and chilled into the evening.

We discovered the local areas and did more walking and to be honest the long weekend flew by. Pete and I just felt so much love and happiness. It was just what we needed. I would highly recommend Forest Holidays.

So we are back and I am having a great day! I reluctantly left my wonderful bed, which is even more wonderful since I changed our duvet to a 13.5 tog! Oh my… it is now on par with the Zum Lowen’s beds! I decided it was time to have a good exercise and popped on Davina McCall’s new 7 minute DVD. 21 minutes later I felt good and pleased with myself. The day hasn’t stopped being productive since then… Apart from other chores I have started ticking off some really annoying chores such as sorting out cupboards…I hope I feel like this tomorrow as I have so many more jobs that could be getting done!

There has been a lot of research coming recently about new developments with TNBC. It is so frustrating as it all seems so far away for us humans to be using. Pete is still soldiering on getting more info and hope for us. I hope that my next scan shows things are still going in the right direction.

I am nailing the bones now I am taking Denosumab. I hopefully have nailed the brain mets by having radiotherapy and continuing to have supps etc. I am nailing the lungs and lymph with continued treatment in Germany; another one booked next week and then I will start Eribulin. Best to keep it on its toes and hopefully the stronger I get the easier it will be to manage.

I know the importance of exercise and now the days are getting longer I think this will get easier. It’s certainly easier to wake up with a little bit of daylight coming through the shutters. Poor Ol’ Pete though doesn’t have that luxury.. 5am starts are hard… And bless him he brings me hot lemon and an apple every morning. It’s paying off though as I have put on four pounds this week.

Thoughts are going to my 40th which is later this year. I don’t want to over think it and although initially I said I wanted to celebrate on a yacht in the South of France, me, being a woman, has changed her mind! I want fun but I don’t necessarily want to spend a fortune and put people under so much pressure. So any thoughts for a memorable birthday please message me on fb! Ha ha!

Here are some lovely photos of our weekend away supplied by The Willow Foundation. I can’t thank them enough and urge anyone within the criteria to contact them.


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