Christmas jumpers, snowballs and turkey..

Christmas Day!!!! What a wonderful day it has been. So full of love and pressies! We visited ray this morning at the hospital and took him a few gifts and mince pies. He seemed happy to see us all (despite moaning a bit about the nursing staff!) The day has really been so amazing. I am very happy and it’s actually been the little things that have pleased me the most. I have received many hearts, candles and buddhas as gifts.

Today I decided to eat turkey! Yep, I came away from the vegan diet as I simply couldn’t resist. It was well worth it! Pete’s cooking is the best.

We watched tv and heard lots of carols and hymns and one of them being ‘In the bleak mid winter’. My mum promptly cried as we remembered me singing solo in a primary school nativity play. I was the little poor girl. Not sure how that goes with the birth of Jesus, yet I was there in my raggedy dress singing all on my own. Never again would I do that. I absolutely hate public speaking or anything that puts me on stage in the limelight. Maybe it was that what caused me to have such a fear! Anyway, it was good remembering and singing along yesterday.

The Queens speech was good and we really have had a momumentus year in so many ways as a nation. I  have never felt so proud to be British. It’s so weird how this year has been so successful yet has been the biggest year for change in my whole life. The best and possibly the worst year, depending on how you look at it. I always think of myself as the Phoenix. Never arising as the same bird. I have changed from the old person I used to be to this newer (improved) version. Well that’s what I like to think. 🙂

Good ol Christmas tv had us watching some dodgy programmes as well as Call the Midwife, classic drama. We were all surprised to enjoy and I really didn’t expect it to hit such a nerve with me. Maybe I had one too many fizzy drinks but for one moment I felt incredibly sad that I won’t be able to have my own little bundle of love, at that if I listened to the doctors, I am technically on my last few years of life. That passed pretty quickly as I thought, ‘rubbish’ and shook it off. Still life is so uncertain and even though noone knows what is going to happen from day to day at least you can plan as if you will still be here. I can’t go getting pregnant. It wouldn’t be right (even if I could fall pregnant- which is highly unlikely.) With that in mind, my heart goes out to the mother and two children in the M6 car crash this morning. So sad.

I’m not sure if it’s the Naltrexone I have been taking but I really haven’t been worrying about the canSer quite so much recently. I can’t put my finger on it. I just don’t feel like that at the moment. May this feeling stay with me.

Anyway let’s leave those sober thoughts behind and be merry and have fun. We are all wearing our Christmas jumpers and I’m off for another snowball! Hic!


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