Monday already! The weekend was good… I went to watch England play rugby with my Bear and two of our friends. It was full of banter and laughter. Just what we both needed after a challenging week. To honest I didn’t think I would be well enough as I felt pretty rubbish Friday. I suppose everything had caught up with me.
My hair has been driving me mad. Every time I move I can feel it fluffing my face as it slowly fell out. My pillow was hairy and when I had a little cat nap on the snug sofa I was surprised as to how much hair was on the cushion…. Been there before but it is so annoyingly itchy. I didn’t want to get rid of my hair too soon though because if I was going to the rugby I wanted to have hair. Luckily I felt fine and looked ok too.
Sunday we got on with Sunday things and got to see our friend on her birthday. I felt pretty organised getting things done and not being under any pressure. Then Bear and I had hours in front of the box. TV is great leading up to Christmas with all the reality shows. I know it’s not great intellectual viewing but it’s great to take our minds off things.
The problem was as the day wore I started feel rough again. I was shaky… Again. I just don’t know why. My appetite isn’t right either. To be honest we both feel a bit under nourished at the moment. When I don’t really feel like eating a full meal we just make do, so I am definitely not getting as much green veg inside of me. I figure I have to just chill out and go with the flow. Everything will work itself out and forcing things just makes me feel like I am not achieving what I should. But being calm and happy at the moment is more important than having spirulina and juices.
I suppose the main event of the day was that Bear shaved my hair off me.
Third time lucky. I don’t think it gets any easier for him but as he says he would rather shave my hair off than not have me around. My scalp is still a bit itchy as it has some bumps and spots on probably from the radiotherapy sensitivity. I have been using cream on it ever since to soothe and repair it.
This week we have made a decision to cleanse our systems and try to be kind to ourselves. This means plenty of water, green tea, homemade soups and things that don’t aggravate us. Fresh fish and spinach, and hearty tangibles etc…We shall see how well that goes!
Today I had a Skype session with a spiritual guide who was recommended to me by my friend. I really felt I needed someone to talk to and perhaps lead back to connecting with my emotional and spiritual side. He was great; really friendly, and I felt so calm afterwards. He did some exercises with such as; letting go, God / universe is everything, and choosing five people I look up to and their qualities I admire. I won’t go into detail how those exercises went but I did feel better…
I have also been catching up on the Deepak Chopra meditation challenge and have meditated 3 times today. For the first this morning I actually felt like I really meditated and didn’t just think all the way through. That’s been a while. Actually deep breathing can be quite painful for me still as my ribs are very sore, but I think they are slowly getting better.
It’s so weird that I am typing this and its 5pm. I am not ready for it. It isn’t cold so doesn’t feel like November… Christmas is round the corner and I need to organised!
I have a relatively relaxing week ahead… I’m looking forward to it. I am going to introduce exercise in some form. I have to. I am so unfit and I can’t allow myself to get sicker. Any kind of exercise, even light, will actually help tiredness from chemo and radiotherapy. I’ll start tomorrow. 🙂
For now I have Friends on the TV and I am going to have a green tea…..