I am not dramatic at all… am I?

Our journey back to the UK was as expected, fractious. I always knew it was going to be hard. It always is when you are up against time. I thought I had given us plenty of time to get to the Eurotunnel but sadly there was a glitch at the clinic.

As we were leaving and preparing dates for our next visit they informed me I would need more blood taking. More blood?! I only had that done on my last visit and they were clear when they said I didn’t need to have that done this time. Of course I let slip…. I trusted them. Now I am not complaining but this is a lesson for everyone. You have to be on top of things and constantly asking. Pete asked them why they hadn’t taken it during my appointments this time. The lady said she didn’t know. Pete asked who was responsible for it. She said she didn’t know. Right…..
I nearly burst a blood vessel in panic and frustration but luckily they agreed to take my blood before I left. The problem was they had delayed us for almost an hour and then made me wait a further 45 minutes. So that meant we left two hours later than expected to get home.

We desperately wanted to get past the tricky rush traffic in Central Germany. Oh we wish…
We got stuck and some. Then we were in every traffic queue going, due to accidents. But Pete ploughed on and got us to Calais about two hours before our booked train. I always book with time to spare and normally we hop on an earlier train, as you can do in normal circumstances but not this time! They made us wait until 22.50pm! Then I looked at the board and they had shunted us back to an even later train! I had a little spat with the train staff and they got us back on the earlier original train. Apparently because of holidays it was much busier than normal. Well maybe getting there later than expected was actually a god send. If we had got there four hours earlier we may have had to wait until 22.50pm! Hmmmm.. Every cloud and all that.

Once we got back into Blighty we had a good two to three hour drive home. You would think that at that time of night it should be fine but there was so many road works, traffic jams and crazy drivers! I was so pleased to get home and slip into our own bed. In total we were driving for 11 hours.

So treatment went well, apart from their lack of organisation for future visits. This is my advice to anyone in this situation. Keep in control. No one else will do it for you and the staff really do not consider your location, costs or time.

Since we got back I have been catching up washing and enjoying being home again. I have felt reasonably well all except a throbbing in my head. I am sure all canSer survivors feel fear when they have new ‘things’ going on inside of them. For a while I had a blind spot getting in the way of my vision. I was worried but stuck it out and now it has gone. Well this throbbing in my head has worried me. It’s something I have never felt before. Pete pointed out it only came on when I had my treatment and it could be a good sign. I agree, it is likely to be nothing. I hope.

So I went to bed with an open mind and just thought to keep an eye on it. I had no trouble sleeping and the throbbing went away during my slumber. It returned but less than yesterday. I thought this is good… But then I got visuals and have had a migraine this afternoon. I used to get migraines a lot previous to being diagnosed with brain tumours but this does worry me.

I awoke in the night and had a feeling of extreme panic, a rushing of adrenalin and blood. What if things had progressed dramatically? What if I was having an aneurism?! I am not dramatic at all, am I? But you know living like this is hard. All the years I used to have niggles and ignored them and they went away. This disease has made me paranoid! The thought of gremlins in my head, does my head in!

When the symptoms completely passed and when I stopped taking steroids and there were still no symptoms I felt great. When my results showed that the tumours were tiny I just hoped that they would continue to get smaller. And then these annoying things start happening…. Oh well, I have an MRI scan booked for Monday. I guess it’s come at good time.

I had a knock at the door yesterday. It was another bunch of flowers sent by Pete, as he knows I may be down on my first day without him. Bless. They are lovely. I’m a lucky girl.
The weekend is here and there is plenty to do and to enjoy. X

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