Today Pete and I had to be at the hospital bright and early. We were both a bit nervous. It was an odd feeling as we have already had the CT scan results so neither of us could place what we were nervous about. I know why I get anxious. I dread seeing Prof Harris because I feel that I can’t confide in him and that he will disapprove of the other treatments that I am having. I hate feeling like that. I want an oncologist who is my confidante. That was probably the reason for the anxiety and nervousness. Nevertheless both Pete and I were full of smiles and huge ‘hellos’ when Prof Harris came in to talk to us. He looked very smart today in his favourite leopard print tie. (I can always tell it’s going to be good when I see him in that tie! Ha ha!)
Well let’s say I was bowled over by the meeting we had with him. He discussed the fact the tumours seemed larger but are still very small and I am still in a better position now than this time last year. This surprised me as I expected him to say that they are growing and fill me full of alarm. But no…
He explained the options open to me and explained exactly how things worked on a cellular level and what each treatment would do specifically. He has never gone into such detail with me. It was hugely refreshing. I actually felt the NHS mantra which says ‘No decision about me, without me’. For once I was able to consider what he was saying and he didn’t cast aspersions. He was open to discussion and we felt very comfortable in explaining to him everything else that is part of my treatment plan including the treatment in Germany. He jotted down notes on exactly what I have been given and even to the extent of supplements. I told him I take metformin and he said they had done a study on it and he approved of its usage. I felt lifted and really happy. What a difference it makes to be involved in the decision making process. He gave me two options with regards to chemotherapy; one being an oral tablet and the other being intravenous. He was opting more towards the oral version which really surprised me. I said that I had heard that low dosage chemotherapy had been coming up in our research and he said that’s exactly what he thought and why he had suggested the oral tablet.
The chemo options were vinorelbine which is a part of the taxol family. It derives from the plant periwinkle. It works by stopping the cancer cells from separating into two new cells. So it blocks the growth of the cancer. This drug can be given intravenously as well but I am so thrilled to be offered it as a tablet. The regime is different to the current drug I have been on and it does mean having blood tests more often but that’s fine by me.
The other option was carboplatin and gemcetibine. We have heard this is a great combination but something I didn’t ‘want to consider at this stage mainly because it is given intravenously and I don’t really want to lose all of my hair a right now if I can help it.
I can honestly say I have never felt so lifted after being to see Prof Harris. It has kept me on a high all day and now I don’t feel quite as gloomy as I have been over the last few days.
It seems that the hope of the treatment that Prof Harris administers is to get the cancer to reduce or become stable giving me years ahead. This is why he said there are many options yet to go. Unfortunately they are all chemo but who knows what may happen in between.
We did ask about having a PET/ CT scan but he said that all cells would take up the glucose and we wouldn’t be able to differentiate between them. That’s a shame…
He said that the German treatment even if it isn’t working may well be making me feel really well and that is a bonus. He also said it has been scientifically proven that staying positive elongates the life and gives a much better outcome. So we heard from a scientist being hopeful and staying positive is good for our health! Love it!
Off I skipped from hospital to have a session of pranic healing. I really like seeing the therapist. He is so calming and gives me so much hope. He seems to feel that this disease will recede as I get stronger. He already feels that removing the rings has made a big difference and will continue to. Whatever you may think of it, the treatment always gives me physical reactions. I had a fluttering in my side and Les said that he had been working on my liver as it felt full of toxins. I also had a mad thumping feeling in my back and it was just where he was working. He explained that the ring fingers are a direct route to my heart and lungs and where I had been wearing the rings with diamonds on was harnessing a grounding sensation and making the canSer stay. It all sounds mental but I am convinced by it!
If that wasn’t lovely enough I then drove to have an acupuncture session. It has been six months since I saw Michael. It was brilliant to catch up and even more relaxing to have a treatment with him. He reduced heat in me which is usually manifested by chemo and anxiety.
So I am now home and feeling pretty happy with myself. I feel back on track and raring to give it my all.
Having that meeting today with Prof Harris is just what I needed. I needed to know I have a team that works with me and is open minded to everything I am doing. I never thought I would get it from an NHS doctor but I am thrilled I did.
I have felt grateful all day. No one day is ever the same and no one ever knows what may happen. That’s the beauty of life I guess. I live for these days.
I just want to add that yesterday I was very touched when a friend has offered to give me all of the commission she earns from work to me, to use either for treatments or to donate to my charities. WOW! I am so overwhelmed and have to admit I had a little tear. People’s generosity astounds me. There is so much good in the world when you are open to give and receive love.
I’m feeling the love everybody!