I have everything crossed….

It’s been a few days and I always think when I am not blogging then I must be living a lot! Friday was a lovely day. I had a mammoth shop in a health food shop (sorry Pete!) then went for my monthly reflexology treatment. Once again it was amazing and I had real trouble staying awake. I hate falling asleep during treatments.. I don’t want to miss it all.. Claire said that she felt my feet were pretty good and that my kidneys seemed to be struggling a little bit and that I ought to drink a lot more water. I have been drinking immense amounts of water recently but maybe the chemo drugs and the new meds I am taking could be making it difficult for my kidneys.. Either that or too much alcohol. Claire says she doesn’t want to give me false hope but really struggles to feel anything in my lung region. I hope that she is right.

Alcohol is one of my bug bears.. I love it but deep down I know I shouldn’t drink as much. I can’t help but think of the government warnings and always think I am drinking too much but I drink so much less than I used to. Part of me wishes I could be really strong and not drink but the other part of me loves a glass of bubbles! If I really knew that alcohol was damaging me then of course I would knock it on the head but the info is so conflicting. I don’t drink any caffeine at present and I am vegan, surely that is good for me?! Well I feel well and that’s that.

This weekend we didn’t have anything planned and as the weather turned out to be rather spring like I got my list of chores drawn and out we went to the garden. Poor Old Pete. Never gets much down time but there is always so much to do. It feels really good knowing that much of the list has been crossed off. We always reward ourselves. Pete watched rugby and I well, snuffled up to him watching rugby!

One of my other goals this weekend was to start planning our next trips away. It’s hard always planning ahead. I really quite like being a bit more spontaneous and what with having treatment in Germany and not knowing what is going to happen next with chemo and whether I will have further chemo restricting me from travelling.. I guess that’s what life is all about.. Let life flow. That’s one thing I have to master. I cannot control anything it seems and maybe I would feel more chilled out if I did simply let it flow more.

I have had a conference call with Jo from Breast Cancer Breakthrough and Pete today. We have been discussing ways of fund raising whereby we can involve many people. Jo is lovely and I feel really motivated since our chat. I have a plan.. sort of.

I have finally finished making the wish bracelets and now have to tie them all onto the cards I have made. This could take a while but at least I am getting there. I have missed reading though. Making bracelets has been time consuming and I am behind on my books. I often feel like that if I don’t concentrate enough on recovering fully from canSer that I am neglecting my duties.. Silly really especially as every night when I lie awake I dedicate so much time to visualising on my lungs and lymphatic system.

Yes still we are not sleeping enough. Valentine’s Day night was the only night last week that we both slept soundly I think. I put it down to the light meal, the hot bath with Epsom salts ad the aromatherapy back massage. It worked a treat. Sleeping like babies.. I think it is probably worrying that keeps me awake. In fact this morning I felt so rotten that I actually felt sickly in my tummy. It took a few hours but then I started feeling fine again. Phew.. I don’t like feeling sick.

My hands have recovered from the soreness and the side effects of chemo. I have been using a combination of creams that really seem to work; Neutrogena (which isn’t chemical free but really works) and Dr Bronners lavender and coconut hand and body lotion. Amazing.

Tonight I am definitely going to sleep. We are having a light dinner, no caffeine or drinks before bed and the oils will be infusing in the room. Tomorrow is the day for my scan results. I have to say I feel terrible at the thought of them but I have been trying to keep positive and really hope for the best. The anticipation is just too much. I think a week is too long to wait for results….. I think I may ask tomorrow if next time I can have the results over the phone as soon as the report is ready then there won’t be a week of dread.

I have everything crossed.

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