I made it to forty! Woohoo!

It’s been and gone already! Can you believe I made it to forty? I have to admit I doubted I would actually make this birthday when I was told almost three years ago that I had a limited life expectancy. I put my fortieth birthday as a goal and when the brain tumours arrived at the end of last year I have to admit I had a sinking feeling. But that’s life and all the excitement it gives.. You never know what’s going to happen next and for me things have so far turned out fine. Milking the celebrations we were surrounded by close friends at the weekend and we partied the day and night away at home having a BBQ. Despite the aftermath of cleaning and washing it was worth it all…. absolutely hilarious. Monday was my actual birthday and my Bear took the day off work and we mooched in London.

Never forgetting about having a terminal disease I also coordinated visiting the Biolab in London for some bloods to be taken. Since I saw Dr Nesselhut last he has had a meeting with the head guy from RGCC, the company does that all the blood tests for chemosensitvity. Both men decided that they think they may be able to create an antigen to use on me for the specific canSer that I have. This means completely personalised treatment. I don’t really know much else. As expected I have been kept in the dark despite asking over and over by telephone and email what is happening, what do I need to do and when can I have it done? Luckily I did find out that I needed to have blood drawn to be sent to their lab in Greece. So this is why I thought I would get it done on Monday, my birthday. The blood is now winging its way to Greece and I await some sort of confirmation what is going to happen next, however I feel that I will calling for the umpteenth time next week. I am concerned I am not having enough treatment and fear that my next scan results may not be brilliant.

I am aware I have had some indulgence recently but life should be lived and I am not about to shy away from a good party when I know I bloody well deserve it! I have dates for my next MRI and CT scans- the end of July… can you believe that will be three months from my gamma knife procedure? Back to my birthday, (well it is all about me!)Pete and I had a lovely day walking in the park, eating tasty food, shopping (naturally!) and then headed home for some cuddles and much needed good night’s sleep. This forty lark isn’t so bad. I don’t feel forty. I hopefully don’t look forty and I certainly don’t feel I am coming to the end. It’s so bizarre how the head rules.

I know I can conquer this…. So right now I am at my mum’s in not so sunny Poole, continuing the celebrations further. I miss my Bear but he has to work, so instead us girls; me, mum and my sister will make the most of it. They have something up their sleeves for me over the next few days. How exciting! I have never felt so loved and spoilt from all the lovely gifts and good wishes as I have done this week. I really cannot be happier that I am still here to see this age. And as much as I know my Bear will say, he never had any doubts about it. I did not. I now know I can do anything I just have to believe it. Research and trials are moving fast and we just have to keep going until they can keep us alive indefinitely. I bid you all a ‘speak later ‘until I am settled back at home next week. Life is going to settle down just briefly before the next birthday celebration in a few weekends time…This is one birthday that I will never forget.

Thank you one and all… (Bear I’m missing you… Mwah!) A big fortieth Light and Love. Claire XX

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