I must be doing something right?!

Mondays… don’t you just love them? I do. It’s the day that you get everything all back to normal from the weekend and get ready for the week ahead. The house is cleaned from top to bottom, the washing done and bits and bobs all organised. It’s very cathartic and de-cluttering for the mind.

I have done all of the above today and I must admit I feel a bit pooped. I have a stinker of a cold now too. Friday I had a sore throat and thought that I wouldn’t let it get me but by yesterday the nose started to run and I was sneezing like a goodun’! I did the usual panic moment and had to ask Pete if everything would be ok. I always dread getting any illness whilst having canSer as I can’t help but suspect it could be more sinister. Pete said he thinks it could be a good thing. Gettting the immunity to have a response could be the thing that helps rid me of canSer.  I have to admit in my gut I think it isn’t anything to worry about. I don’t feel that ill. It’s simply a head cold. Picture me with a streaming nose and eyes! It’s not going to stop me from working tomorrow or going to my hospital appointment either. In fact I feel well enough that I did some light exercise this morning and yoga too. I believe that when exercising the body releases good hormones and I think that can only help my body recover from this cold quicker.

The cold has probably been brewing for a while but thankfully I didn’t really feel it too much over the weekend as we had our new friends visit. We met them whilst skiing in Austria in February and this is the first time since we got back that we have seen them. We had such a laugh and felt very relaxed with them. Some people are no effort at all and being around them is so very relaxing. That’s how it was this weekend. We had so many laughs (being complete goons!) I am sure our neighbours must love us ringing a fire bell at midnight! I know, I know why have we got a fire bell? It’s a long story but let’s just say our house is full of fun and surprises! I am sure the late night on Friday didn’t help my cold but life is for living. I am kind to myself as much as possible but sometimes I simply cannot miss out on all the fun!

I have been chatting today with a friend about canSer and how it affects the individual. We both agreed and believe that canSer is about ‘letting go’. Of course there are the physical elements and factors to be taken into consideration but letting go of the old stuff, the old you, the old habits, is the only way to evolve and the biggest part of healing is on the inside and in the mind. It’s funny because I have been thinking this a lot recently. I feel like a different person that I was 9 months ago. I can honestly say life is great. I know there are things we would all rather not have to endure and to put up with and always think things could be better, but actually my life is just peachy. Yesterday afternoon when our friends had gone and Pete and I were having our afternoon TV snuffle, I couldn’t help but tell him how very happy and grateful I am to have such a wonderful man in my life. I said that when we are old and grey we would still be tucked into the corner of the sofa holding hands and snuffling closely. Pete interjected and said that he is already old and grey! Ha ha! But I corrected him by saying old is when he is 95 years old. I honestly believe that we could both live to that ripe old age and if we get that opportunity to be together for that many years then boy, life has been wonderful. I hope that the Universe lets that happen and we live healthily for many many decades yet.

Just think by the time I am 95 years old there will definitely be a cure for every canSer going. It’s inevitable. Its right under our noses I think. Drugs and treatments aside I believe the cure is right under our noses anyway. Unlocking the mess we hold inside is the first step to our future health…

Tomorrow I am at the hospital for my next clinic appointment. I received a letter last week for my next ct scan which was booked for Monday 22nd April, but as I am going to be having treatment in Germany I have now postponed it until the 8th May. I am sure Prof Harris won’t be too pleased as he has wanted the scan done of the past five weeks but the radiology department must be busy. I don’t mind waiting. It gives me almost a month of hard work, focussed visualising and really being good with my diet. Pete and I have both decided that being vegan for a while is good way of cleansing ourselves and almost like a bit of a detox. By the time I have the scan it will be about 12 weeks since my last one.

The last few months have been really great. We haven’t been away on any little trips other than Germany and instead we have been spending lots of time with friends. I never realised how important they are in my life until now. The rest of April is the same and I am really looking forward to catching up with friends old and new. I feel blessed that they like spending time with me and my Bear.  One of the most important things for canSer patients is support and to live a normal life. I think I have the balance down to a tee. I simply do not let canSer rule me anymore.

Thankfully, as with the last 6 cycles of chemo, this cycle has been pretty much the same. I have felt great and I haven’t had any side effects. Phew…. I must be doing something right!

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