Learning Love & Happiness

This is my first day back from our little get away to a place we have visited for eight years on the trot, Ibiza.

We have been going to the same hotel all this time all bar one year and have loved it not only because it is super cool and the style reminds me of retro Miami but mainly because of the people there. We have loved making friends there. Some of our closest friends have been made there-from staff to guests. We have made lifelong friends whom we now try to see three or four times a year, some we keep in contact online and others that come and stay with us and we all go on holidays together. That’s stuff only dreams are made of.

We spent some lovely evenings partying, talking, sharing, laughing, and watching sunsets that melt your heart. We also spent lots of time just the two of us, walking along seafronts, sitting in bars people watching and boy you can do a lot of that in Ibiza. The place scares me a bit as there are many people that clearly need help! Haha.

This time we went because in all those years I had never been to the neighbouring island of Formentera, which I had been told is stunning. On our last full day we caught the boat and spent the whole day there. It was of no surprise that it was busy but we weren’t affected as we travelled early and walked for ages. Pete kept saying the best spot is just a little further, Grrr! Haha. I wasn’t disappointed once we arrived. The sea was aquamarine, turquoise and warm and we ate paella for lunch. Just perfect.

We don’t make connections with everyone we meet and sometimes chance meetings don’t always mean we were meant to make lasting friendships, unless of course there is a lesson in there somewhere. That’s what I try to tell myself on the odd occasion that it happens. The place is full of lively individuals squeezing as much out of life, just like we are and we all want to have as much as possible and that is why Ibiza can make me feel very tired at times. Late nights, lots of drinking, not wanting to miss any sunshine, getting up early to laze in the sunshine. But then there is FOMO. Fear of missing out. That’s something I could live without. FOMO.  I do wonder, when I am there, if there may come a time when I simply have to hang up my Ibiza ‘boots.’ I can still see friends and visit them and chat to them and love them like I do. I class them as family. The sad part I suppose, is that I think this way purely because I cannot go there without coming home more tired than I went! Haha!

I have returned with a cold and a chesty cough, which is not ideal when we have so much to do and more importantly when treatment is coming up and this time its microwave ablation in my lung. I am already worried about having my lung pierced for the procedure and I pray that it stays intact and doesn’t collapse. This is making decisions about how to get there very hard. I want to fly but flying back means staying longer and we have a big office move the following day we are due to return, if we drive that is. If we fly, then moving day will not be including us and this cannot happen.

Also is it the right thing to do? I have got no further with finding out more about treatment with Dr Nesselhut as he wanted to speak to me whilst I was away. This didn’t happen for one reason or another and now he is away until next week. I don’t understand why there isn’t more documentation to give to patients?!

Anyway that’s for the Bear and I to discuss very soon as I need to make bookings.

Back to the trip away. Sometimes I question why people are drawn to us and then I question further why they feel it was necessary to try to be part of our lives and then want to upset us?! We extend our hearts to anyone with judgment and maybe that’s our naive mistake. I think that it’s true that we become what we think and when I see someone being selfish, pushy, bullying and aggressive, I do feel sorry for the way that must make them feel when they are alone with their thoughts but it’s not for me to try and help them, but just to avoid it like hell. 

I find it hard to understand and to not be affected by them but I do now know that I should learn from it. It is definitely there to teach me something. No one can upset my calmness if I don’t want them to. I won’t allow strange people and all that makes them who they are to affect me. We have our own stories and we should be tolerant of them. But it doesn’t mean I have to put up with it, I just have to let it flow by.

That’s what meditation and yoga is all about. Be still like a mountain on the outside and like a flowing river on the inside.  It’s definitely a skill I need to practise.  I may be growing out of the wonderful White Isle and the array of people you meet there but I have had some great memories of it and I will always cherish it for the people who have made it even more special. I just may now need to travel to new places more often. It’s a big wide world out there. Life is all about change and I am certain that’s something we can never stop.

For now I will cherish my memories and laugh at the funny photos we took.

Bear and I love our time together with our friends and family and when we are alone. No one can upset the balance. Now is our time to rebalance and reenergise.

Onto the next chapter…..

13882601_10153826923562061_778336260021693125_nLove and Happiness XX

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