Don’t you just hate it when people that write blogs tell you that they are writing sitting stretched out in the garden in the beautiful sunshine? Maybe just a little bit? Yeah sorry about this… I am currently sitting stretched out in the back garden soaking up some rays I am a sunflower. 🙂
Now it probably sounds like I sit around all day doing nothing but not so! We have so few good days weather wise, I’d like to make the most of it. That’s how lucky I am. And I know it. I do however keep busy. I’ve already painted the front of the garden cabin, done washing, emails and my rituals. I do have plenty to be getting on with but it can wait! Woohoo! That’s under my husband’s orders. My wonderful husband.
I am feeling really good right now. Vogl told me my cough would subside within ten days of having TACE. I didnâ€™t quite believe him but with a positive mind, he was right! Ten days was last Friday, my goodness, it has gone. Well near as damn it. Now I cough rarely, actually mainly in my sleep. But it has gone. It feels different. I still wheeze a little but Iâ€™m so confident the affected lymph nodes have reduced. Now my lung needs to reflate and the naughty bigger tumours- do one!
Considering I am taking capecitabine (chemo) and have had TACE (gemcitabine and cisplatin) I am doing really well. I sometimes feel tired but mainly at times of the day when everyone feels a dib mainly. Iâ€™m over the sickness, nausea, and weight loss. Iâ€™ve been sick a few times but I donâ€™t feel ill. My relationship with food is back to normal and I feel happy.
This weekend, just gone, was so good. My bear and I did chores, pottered and had spontaneous meetings with friends and then the best day of sun in our garden. It was like being on holiday. We had such a simple, no frills, fab time. We sat until the sun no longer shone and we felt hugely grateful listening to music and just loving each other. Itâ€™s fair to say I know how lucky I am and how I love my life.
We spent time going through our holiday photos and reminiscing yesterday. Pete pointed out how canSer really has given us such a great life in many respects.Â We would never have travelled all over Europe, to obscure places. We are truly thankful.
On TV last week was a programme called The Big C showing gritty stories of canSer survivors and their treatment. Pete wasnâ€™t sure if I should it. But I did. It was really good and very insightful but heart-breaking too. It was so interesting watching a lady who has had canSer for twenty years! I nearly fell of the sofa. Even all that time on she struggles with the fear of death. It never gets easier and no one can ever be complacent.Â Thatâ€™s what I have been taught. Until that cure or treatment to stop triple negative breast cancer in its tracks I have to constantly keep on top of it. Thatâ€™s life now.
Iâ€™m booked to return to Prof Vogl for TACE this month. Now I need to book to see Nesselhut.Â Instead of NDV, which they no longer provide, I will be having echovirus. Here is a link to information on it, although it is called Rigvir. http://www.hope4cancer.com/treatments-a-therapies/rigvir-virotherapy.html
I am still contacting other doctors and awaiting replies. Dr Weber as recommended by Dr Nesselhut has replied and provided some information on his treatment PDT using infrared laser therapy. It seems really interesting but I need more detailed information on how he would treat me.
I am well enough to exercise â€“ not much cardio, just weights and resistance plus yoga. Exercise is uber important for all us TNBC ladies. Well actually for every human being but you know what I mean ladies? Shake that booty and get the blood flowing. My mum started clubbercise recently and absolutely loves it. 66 years old and shaking her thang with glow sticks- Love it! Yesterday I meditated and practised yoga as well trained in the garden. I think I am getting stronger. I know my mind is feeling better for it for sure!
Life is busy at the moment. I feel great. I am doing more and my mood is really buoyant. Iâ€™m helping Pete out with a project and although I donâ€™t want to get bogged down- I am reallyÂ enjoying being involved.
I know it sounds morbid but Peter and I are planning our funerals. We even suggested it my mum too. We want our plans on paper so our next of kin do notÂ have to worry about the details. It isnâ€™t as easy I thought it would be, and although quite aÂ sad exercise to doÂ , it is really empowering. I have no intention of going anywhere yet and neither does Pete. But it should be done for the sake of the others who care about us. It really has had me pondering on things I have never considered and I have no idea what I want? Burial, cremation, where, hearse, horse and carriage? Itâ€™s liking being asked what my favourite track of all time isâ€¦ almost impossible to answer. (It may not be the one you all think friends!:))
It is fair to say I am truly happy right now. I am in love with my Bear more and more every day, if thatâ€™s even possible. I love our home and all its quirks, especially the Drayton Dragons, making our neighbours smile with their changing themes every month. (Hereâ€™s this monthâ€™s new themeâ€¦. June is the month of Wimbledon tennis tournamentâ€¦. Hahahahahaha. I love our friends and family. I wish I could see them more, but who doesnâ€™t right? I love my body and all its scars, wobbly bits, wrinkles and every little ache, pain and twinge. It keeps me strong and I am getting stronger.
Letâ€™s keep it this way, Hey?