The end of April is upon us and we have a long weekend to look forward here in the UK. The forecast isn’t fantastic so I cannot imagine many people will be able to enjoy lazy walks in the Spring sunshine. Last night most of the UK had snow. Luckily for us it didn’t settle. It’s all a bit odd but I am happy to receive this kind of weather. It’s better than earthquakes and tornadoes.
Pete and I have a weekend of walking planned again but this time in Dorset. We get to see my Ma and spend some time with her down by the coast. We love it there and Pete and I haven’t been for ages so it’s going to be really good fun.
Today I feel tired. I guess like many of us Thursday is close to the weekend and naturally one starts to wind down. I think my tiredness is from exercise. I don’t think my body can handle it! I will have to continue exercising every day to see changes and improvements.
As planned, last weekend Bear and I got out in the wilderness and walked. It may not sound very exciting but we live in such a beautiful area that we never even knew about. Saturday we came across a woodland with a blanket of bluebells that looked like the sea and Sunday we walked the ridge of the ‘Devils Punchbowl’ (sounds so exotic and exciting!). It was hard for me as I find hill walking really tough but Pete thinks I am improving. I do not. I feel frustrated on how slow and out of breath I get.
We meet such lovely people on our way and this guy on a horse slowly walking down the round spotted Pete and I having a well-earned cup of tea by our car, Randy the Landy, as I call him. Having a Landrover really does attract many people. It’s a bloke thing I think! It was so great chatting to a complete stranger who we will most likely never see again but what a nice fella. We meet all sorts on our little days out. Even just standing in our own drive way people seem compelled to talk to us. (That could be because they think we are mad painting dragons!)
Bear and I even went to the gym on Sunday! I know we were really going for it….. I knew about it on Monday though. All week exercise has been my focus and I have really been mixing it up. Doing HIIT, weights, resistance and yoga. My cough doesn’t hinder me nor did my ribs. That was until yesterday. No idea what has happened but the pain in my ribs has returned but much lower down nearer my waist. It’s a stabbing pain and coughing is so painful! It’s so weird because only the day before I thought to myself I have been really lucky recently with ribs not causing discomfort especially since my cough has not abated but actually probably changed a bit, maybe a bit worse but different to before. I am almost cross at myself for having that thought as now it is bad again. I try to look at the positive and think maybe the pain is worse to stop me from coughing as much, because it sure is making me think before I cough.
Other than that I appear to be really healthy or ‘fit’ as the guy on the horse called me. He couldn’t believe I had canSer and thought I was fit as a fiddle. On the outside I am happy I do look really healthy. I am a healthy weight. I think my mind is generally quite healthy. I am still practising mindfulness almost every day and I find a really comfort in closing my eyes and meditating even if my mind gallops around. My diet is mostly healthy. Of course I have the odd indulgence. But I barely drink alcohol and I certainly don’t battle with the demons inside that used to make think I should be completely abstaining from such things. I have a nice balance. I do still feel a bit tired and low at the end of the day but that is probably my body telling me to slow down. I listen to my body and what it needs all the time. If I don’t feel like doing things I don’t. It does mean some jobs on my to -do list may take longer than I would like but when the time is right the job gets done properly. (Lacquering the decking is one of those jobs. I could’ve done it this week as it’s been bright and dry some days but it hasn’t felt warm and for me I would rather wait until we have some warmer weather)
I have been taking my supplements and feel confident in what I am taking to assist me. I am probably missing certain things as nobody is perfect but I feel an all-round sense of I am doing the right things and my life has balance. Pete is a big part of that. Despite struggles in daily life he comes home and no matter whether I am happy or a little big grumbly he gives me smiles, cuddles and love. We have a little routine to plan for the next day then we prepare dinner together. Like I said our meals have been really healthy recently. We have what feels right. Plenty of fresh protein mainly from fish, greens in the form of salads and vegetables. My favourite so far has been raw salmon with a samphire and seaweed salad….hmm or is it tuna with quinoa pasta and fresh tomatoes? Our portion sizes aren’t massive and we avoid any extras after we have eaten our evening meal. Alcohol doesn’t play a part during the week and even at weekends we can go without now too depending on our plans.
I feel blessed that my life is with someone who truly cares about me. I know this because not only do I see it in his actions but he tells me so on the moment I am about to fall asleep and as soon as I awake (or move!) in the morning. I really do have it all.
I am so lucky that I have choices with my life; whether to work or not and what treatments I can have. Right now there are no such decisions but this could soon well change. I am having MRI and CT scans tomorrow and the results in about two weeks. Then we shall see what is next in this chapter of my life. I am hopeful for a hot sunny summer and I will not be needing any treatment. I’ll hang on to that until I get the answers. For now Bear and I will live in the present and enjoy every minute we can.
I’m looking forward to some mummy cuddles tomorrow and as a step nanny I was happy for some snuffles with my step grandson earlier this week. Life is about love. We mustn’t get confused about that. Life was never going to be easy but try to make it is as easy as possible where possible. Avoid chaos and try to breathe and think of the here and now. Keep things simple. Triple negative breast cancer doesn’t have to be all gloom and doom remember!
It’s May in a few days and it will be time to change our dragons dress up…. I am sure you will all have baited breathe as to what they will look like! Haha…..Watch this space.