Please let this thing end…

I’m sitting in my garden for ten minutes in this beautiful sunshine before I have to get ready for my next client.

We got home late last night but the flight was great with few people on it and the steward took a shine to us and gave us extra drinks. ( who can resist our puppy dog eyes?!)

The afternoon hadn’t panned out as it ought to have at Dr Nesselhuts. We left late because we were waiting around. I was due to have my usual vaccine as well as an ‘antisense’ vaccine for Epstein Barr virus. Sadly though the courier didn’t arrive. He left Berlin at 8am and at 4.45pm he still hadn’t arrived and no one at the depot knew where he was. We waited for as long as possible and even though we left and saw a DHL van we turned back in the hope it was my vaccine. But no…

A little annoying to say the least. They are going to keep the vaccine frozen until my next visit which we have booked for July.

I had results of blood analysis too yesterday. I was surprised to see that my natural killer cells are really low and my suppressor cells are really high. It should be the other way around. This puzzles me. I eat well and consciously try to take supplements to boost my immunity. Clearly they are not working or I am not taking the right things. Dr Nesselhut says to take coriolus otherwise known as turkey tail mushroom. I already do. How much? A 1000mg per day. Dr Nesselhut tilted his head with agreement on the amount. I guess I’ll have to try harder.

Pete in his usual way said not to worry and gave me an explanation but I have to be honest I am finding it harder to remember everything. I just know I have to keep doing what I am doing and then some.


This morning Pete woke me by calling on his way to work after the gym. He was is such a great mood and told me to look out of the window and see our rhododendron has finally flowered. He is so positive and full of love. I couldn’t be more proud of him. He told me that if I am tired today to rest and catch up with stuff later.

I have to admit I feel wrecked and a little odd. My body is vibrating and I definitely feel a change in my energy. It’s probably the vaccines and treatment I have had. I feel like I have been exercising. Well I have but this feels different. I’m going to try to be good to myself…


I love being at home but today has been a whirlwind. I had my usual routine start to the day and then have been emailing my oncologists secretary all morning. I am off to London very early tomorrow to see the radiologist specialist who will be performing the ablation surgery in June. He wanted a copy of my last ct scan. The secretary has been brilliant organising it and apparently it was due to arrive today at her office then I could collect whilst at the hospital having my blood test. Nope… Wasn’t to be. So I won’t take no for an answer. I went to the radiology department and showed them the emails between myself and the secretary and they did me a copy there and then. Sheer bloody mindedness will get you everywhere….

I then get home to find an email saying that the ct scan has been emailed to the specialist… Ha ha! Oh well all bases covered.


I have had a good response to the vaccines yesterday as well as the interleukin 2 jab. My arm is red and raised and really quite itchy. It normally goes red but subsides within twelve hours. This is new. The spot where the jab for the immunotherapy by Dalgliesh looks better but is also itchy, a bit like it is healing itchy.


I sat on the flight last night and we watched in wonder at the sun setting whilst we were above the clouds. I felt really serene.. But then thoughts of all the people we keep seeing in Duderstadt from all over the way world came into my mind. There was a guy on our flight who we had seen at our hotel and at the clinic. He clearly had a brain tumour. It’s unbelievable the amount of nationalities we are seeing there now; Asian, Australian, New Zealand, Chinese, Arabic, Portuguese, Russian and more.

It’s so weird because when I first got diagnosed I remember thinking why me? Out of all these people why me? But now I feel crowded, almost claustrophobic. It’s like an epidemic and everyone is getting infected by a disease that is catching (but of course it isn’t) and there are now only a few who are not ill. It’s a really strange feeling.

When will this ever stop? Or won’t it.


Just heard the sad news that Stephen Sutton who has raised so many millions for charity has today died too at 19 years old.


Please let this thing end….

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