Beauty despite cancer…

I have been speaking with many other TNBC survivors and have been feeling comforted to know that I am not alone. I feel empowered to stay positive and keep smiling.

My friend suggested I write a letter to the Universe thanking it three times for something. I have thanked the Universe for keeping me well and healthy and being cured of canSer. I know it’s a big ask but I am hoping the Universe will hear me.

Back to researching and working. I gratefully received some beauty products from Jennifer Young who has a beauty range for healthy people and a range specifically for cancer survivors. Those that are going through chemo and beyond. Our skin suffer, become s sensitive and hair is lost. Sometimes things return to normal but sometimes the sensitivity continues. It is imperative to people like us to look and feel good during such a low time.

The skin care products that Jennifer kindly sent me were a full facial range. I have been using them since Sunday and I already have noticed how soft my skin feels. The smell is divine and I would almost consider never changing back to anything else! I really like both serums for the eyes and face, as well as the cleansing balm. It’s very unusual that a balm is used for cleansing. I love it.

If you would like to check them out go to;

Not only is the website full of great products which you really must have, (if you are anything like me- a product junkie – then you ‘have’ to have everything!) it is has great information shared by other canSer survivors and a blog. There is a team of people sharing their knowledge and expertise on beauty, well-being and fashion as well as writers from the fields of business, finance and insurance.

Wigs and hairpieces are also sold on the site. Plus there is a 0800 number that you can call; Appearance Advice and Enquiries telephone: 0800 999 8518

I would highly recommend you spend some time reading and if you don’t have canSer then there is a section where you can buy gifts! Hint hint!

Jennifer Young also has another range of products for ‘healthy’ people. They are great as you can customise your skin care for your specific needs. I think it is a genius idea and the products look great! Here is more about Jennifer Young;

I am so interested in these products that I am considering purchasing both ranges to use with my beauty clients. It would be lovely to offer those whom need special treatment something that is made with them in mind.

I will be trying out the fake tan soon too. I’ll let you know how that goes once I’ve tried it. I have just seen today that a mascara has been launched too. How weird life is.. I was just thinking I needed a new mascara.

The Universe spoke to me.

Ten year survivors…

Another busy working day yesterday but this week has felt really good. I feel quite evenly balanced and everything has been flowing. I have been looking on a website featuring women who have metastatic breast canSer recommended to me by a friend. It has real life stories on there about women who are still living with canSer ten years on once it has spread to other parts of their bodies. It initially gave me hope but then it dawned on me that I could live with this for the rest of my life. I am working hard in myself that I will beat this, that I will be a miracle and one day be told there is no sign of disease. But reading the life stories the women on there are all still taking medication and having to change every time something changes or doesn’t work anymore.  That fills me with dread. There was one story of a woman who has lived with canSer for thirty years. Amazing but she felt terrible for much of it due to the chemo. That’s not a good quality of life really. Then at the end of her story there was note saying that she had died recently. Well she was in her late seventies.

I don’t know why this is a revelation to me all of a sudden. I suppose I live in this bubble where I believe I am going to be like Ian Gawler or some of those other amazing stories and survivors.

Any way it brings it all back to not worrying about the future as you never know what is going to happen anyway. No point wasting time and energy on those thoughts. It just caught me out a bit that’s all. I envisage me being told one day that I can stop taking chemo but it looks unlikely as long as I choose to listen to listen to the oncologists. And let’s face it they know enough about it to know what I should be doing.

Maybe I am living in denial. I feel so well I find it hard to believe that I actually have an illness at all. Living with incurable cancer is hard to get your head round at the best of times. I thought I would feel inspired by long term survivor’s stories but actually I take more comfort reading about rare cases of when the disease has gone altogether and the individual lives on for many years.

I keep telling myself I am doing quite unusual things that others are not which could make all the difference. I know that we all have to die eventually and I know there is nothing to worry about but when I read online of people having their 54th wedding anniversary it saddens me to think that I may never get to be old enough to do that. What an amazing length of time to be with the one you love. Till death us do part. Sad really… I’m selfish but I don’t want to go!

Today I’m going for reflexology… can’t wait and I have packed already for the weekend by the beach. Off to Brighton to hopefully enjoy more of the same sunny weather. Yay!

Surely it’s not been a year already!?

Today is a monumental day for me and my Bear. It’s a year today we got the tragic news that I had incurable canSer. A year…Already! Oh my..

For me it feels like only yesterday but also a lifetime ago. I can vividly remember being at hospital then calling Pete. I remember the panic, the sadness and the look in Pete’s eyes when he came in from work beside himself. It’s weird I’m not holding onto that day and those memories so that I can relive them or be a victim. I want to let it all go so that I can move on. I don’t blame anyone, most of all I don’t blame myself. It is a distant memory and a time and date that year on year forever more I will look back and think that was the day my life changed forever. Strange then you’d think it would have been when I was told I had canSer first time round three years ago, but no. That day I didn’t go home and think my life will never be the same again- for the better

This day last year was the day I came alive and woke up from my slumber of a life. Took the bull by the horns, picked myself up and dusted myself off. But if it sounds like I’m gung ho and strong I’m not. Without Pete, my Bear, my One then I am certain I wouldn’t be sat here now blogging.

He is my inspiriation, my drive, my reason for living. He gives me strength every day. He brightens my world and gives me hope. And what would life be without hope?

Then there’s everyone reading this including my mum, friends, family, friends of friends and complete strangers who have given me the passion to keep going. It’s amazing how small simple comments, emails and entries on the visitors page make such a difference. Just knowing people want to know what’s going on in my life, feelings, in my head and heart, inspires me daily. I want to thank everyone because without them, you I wouldn’t be as healthy (as I can be) and happy.

I live a life without regret, blame, sadness and fill it with a future, hope, happiness and gratitude.

My health is better now than a year ago. The canSer is apparently still there but when it got worse last year I have batted it back and I believe that I am in a stronger position than that fateful day.

There have been many dark hours and days and who knows whats yet to come? But that’s how exciting life is!

Ive had a year of opening my eyes, heart and soul. And so has Pete. I’ve learned about the need for a less acidic life physically and emotionally. I practise yoga, exercise regularly, take supplements, medicinal mushrooms, travel to Germany for immunotherapy and use heat and air daily. I have rekindled my love of drawing and getting back to work. I have had huge success selling wish bracelets for charity and been a lingerie model for the day. The most memorable thing is the kindness I have experienced and love from absolutely everyone. I hope I’ve helped teach people with my words and that I can offer some help to anyone who wants to improve their life and comfort to those in a similar situation.

So the last thing to say is Thank you!


I’m still away at Mum’s house and hope my Bear can wait just a little while longer for a big old’ squeeze on my return.. Not long now.  Mmwwaaahhhhhhh! Xxx

Newcastle Disease Virus- poor old poultry farmer lost his birds but killed his cancer!

First day of Newcastle Disease Virus (NDV) and hyperthermia. I was being treated by the lovely Cindy again, which was very comforting.

Newcastle disease virus is bird flu which was discovered in 1926 in Newcastle, England. A poor old poultry farmer sadly lost his whole livelihood however noticed that his sarcoma (cancer tumour) disappeared- bonus!

In 1999 cancer was treated with Newcastle Disease Virus as immunotherapy for the first time.

Combined with this treatment and to assist it with its effectiveness I had hyperthermia or oncothermia. Oncothermia is a local electro-hyperthermia system which aims to increase the temperature in surrounding the tumour site.  It isn’t a cure in itself but allows more effective application of other therapies and certainly doesn’t do the cancer cells any good. It sounds mad but it was painless and the heat starts low but will increase each time I have it. The internal temperature rose to 42.5 degrees.

The whole experience was quite calming. I laid on a water bed and had a watery pad put on my chest. Then I had to inhale ionised oxygen. Cancer cells also hate oxygen as they are anaerobic.  The whole process lasted one hour. During that time I was given the virus intravenously. I shouldn’t have any side effects other than flu like symptoms.  So far I feel fine.

After the treatment we went for green tea in the market place. The tea house owner gave me a gift of two small angelic cherubs and said that they were for me to feel better. That moved us both hugely. Such a small gesture but so thoughtful and kind.

A weekend in the mountains to look forward to, then back on Monday for three days of treatment.

P.S Did my positivity app this morning- the first time I haven’t fallen asleep- ha ha! Felt amazing with so much gold and pink in my mind. Love.

22 hours a day to research

Claire went to her close cousins wedding for 3 days with her Mum. This gave me literally 22 hours a day to research, plan, communicate and understand and the difficulties over those days is probably what created this web site. If you are already on day 6, I am so sorry that we didn’t get this to you sooner.

To be able to come to one place and understand Carboplatin, Bevacizumab in Triple Negative Untreated Metastatic Breast Cancer and Radio Frequency Ablation is why we all need to share.

The result of 3 days research and huge amounts of good luck and the kindness of people who help in every way they can and to whom Claire and I are more grateful than could be thought possible, resulted in our first 10 point plan, which is on the website.

It’s about now that we come to the stark realisation that most of what you read and research is totally negative. We need to start thinking in a different way and doing it fast as when Claire comes home she will need to not just know but understand that everything will be alright.

I base the plan on three factors, which most seem to agree, contribute to the huge number of cancers affecting the western world

  1. Toxins in our environment.  (We live in the country so hope this may be a little negated)
  2. Food processing. (We have removed anything non organic, pre-processed and not traceable to source. All foods are now driven by known anti carcinogens)
  3. Processed sugar (This is the biggest contribution to cancer growth and we have completely removed this. Which is not as easy as it seems)