This morning I dragged myself out of my snuggly bed and got ready to go to hospital for my clinic appointment-The usual appointment to see how I am doing before my next round of chemo. I didn’t see Prof Harris again today but another male doctor who seemed nice. I plucked up the courage to ask him if he thought it would be possible to make some changes to the way I take chemo. Maybe give a bigger gap between cycles or even reduce the dosage. He said that capecitibine is very good for old ladies as it is very well tolerated so I should be fine as long as I don’t have side effects to it to simply just continue with it. He suggested taking it for one week on one week off and that would be a better solution to taking it for two weeks on one week off… I think he was missing my point. He did say he had looked at my scan and there was practically nothing there! That said he feels that even though the CT scan cannot see anything it doesn’t mean canSer isn’t there and that if I was to stop taking the drugs that it would definitely grow back. Humph……
This is where all this gets very confusing and until I talk to Doctor Nesselhut I really don’t know what I should do. I know that at some point I need to know what is working one way or the other. I have a strong feeling that I don’t need to be taking chemo forever but if I should decide to stop I have to take the risk that the canSer will grow back. Sucks really… I’m not great at taking risks and this is one no one can know the outcome of. I’m off to Germany later this week as my next Nesselhut session is on Monday. I will speak to him and see what he says.
I have been reading about ellagic acid today. It is a compound ingredient in raspberries amongst other things like blueberries. Ellagic acid prevents the binding of carcinogens to DNA and strengthens connective tissue, which may keep cancer cells from spreading. Ellagic Acid has the ability to inhibit mutations within a cell’s DNA. Furthermore, it is considered to be a cancer inhibitor which has the ability to cause apoptosis or normal cell death in cancer cells. This is something I had heard of about six months ago but it has popped up again today. I may think about taking this as a supplement as I don’t have much fruit although I do love blueberries and raspberries….mmmm
I’ve been working today and although they say it is 20 degrees I am cold and wearing a cardigan. I have been feeling a bit washed out with a delicate tummy the last few days. I can only put it down to birthday celebrations taking their toll. I reckon a detox is in order but not the best time what with a road trip inbound.
I’m actually looking forward to going to Germany. I’m keen to have the next plan of action.
Whilst at hospital today the doc said that he wants to book me another scan for in July… we’ll see about that. I think I will make it August then it will be three months again. They don’t seem at all worried about radiation. To be honest all I feel when I am there is that they want to say something to me such as, ‘whilst you can tolerate the chemo ‘or ‘when the chemo doesn’t work anymore’… they have a look in their eyes that tells me that I am still a dead girl walking. I wish they had more positive things to tell me and give me. I’m sure they feel like that. NO point worrying about something that may never happen. I wonder if I am cranking up the healing enough or if I am becoming lazy. I think it is all because I find everything so routine these days. Should I crank up my diet and have lots more fresh juices? I currently only have one a day. I find that one has such a diuretic effect on me plus I don’t LOVE vegetable juices. I have to have it like medicine.
Maybe I need to have an evaluation and start readdressing things like making time for visualisations, working more on my diet and other elements.
For now I think I will just focus on tonight’s tea….. Greens and more greens!
P.S Just want to congratulate my friend Donna on completing the London to Brighton cycle ride in aid of my chosen charities! Whoop! X