The higher you build your barriers…. Ooway ooway…

The weekend was probably one of the times I have been most proud of myself and my friends.

As mentioned in my previously blog Pete had offered our ‘ support to three girl friends who are going to be doing the Three peaks challenge, which is climbing Ben Nevis, Scarfell Pike and Snowdon in 24 hours for our chosen charities. In preparation for this they have been doing smaller climbs/walks in training. Pete suggested Pen Y Fan in the Brecon beacons.

We all met at our house on Friday night and in such excitement got chatting and drinking… uh oh… An early night was planned but we got to bed at midnight. We were leaving at 6am the next morning. This would have been fine had we not decided red wine and hot chocolates (mit rum) were a good idea! What did we expect really? We haven’t seen each other in a while and really have no self control! Ha-ha.

This didn’t stop us. Dragging ourselves out of bed and having my great man by our sides, he drove us three hours to Wales. I was dreading it. I am not a natural walker and having never climbed anything steep since Ayres Rock when I was 21 years old. Things didn’t improve my outlook when we arrived it was very cold and damp and the visibility was not good at all!

But onwards and upwards, we began our walk with high spirits. It didn’t take more than five minutes before I was completely puffed out and I had a good old moan all the way up! The girls didn’t appear to be out of breath at all and Pete just continued slow and steady. He just kept saying, ‘One foot in front of the other, that’s all you’ve got to do’.

We made our way up to a plateau where we came across a big group of men who said the conditions were pretty nasty ‘up there’. We carried on and sure enough conditions were nasty. The wind was howling and blowing us over and the rain was hitting us sideways. But we made it to the top!




The walk down was just as hard and now very slippery but I was so much happier having made our way up there. It was a great achievement for me and I think the girls now realise how hard their challenge is going to be. It gave them a chance to feel it in bad conditions and gave them a chance to see how their kits coped. Not very well in some cases… boots had puddles of water in.

Have a look at this video of our day here;


We were so please for our warm, dry car and for thankful Pete driving us home.

We got home, had hot showers, changed our clothes and just chilled the rest of the day grazing on tapas and celebrating with pink champagne.  What a weekend!

So what did you with yours to make it memorable?



This week I had decided not to work quite as much as the last. I thought I had kept plenty free and booked myself to go and have lots of therapies. The only thing is I know realise I haven’t left myself any time to get ‘stuff’ done. I have this list of things to get done that have been bugging me. Things you really need to have a clear head and be in the mood for. But by the time I have been returning from my ‘therapy’ session I realise there is barely any time left after doing chores. Oops. Maybe I should have really left some time free.

Yesterday I went for reiki to a lady called Silvana. A lovely lady whose cat seemed to take a shine to me. (Hear that kitty? A cat actually liked me and sat on me!) It was a very relaxing experience and during the session I had a jolt in my tummy which seemed to shoot up my chest. I have never experienced anything like that before. The therapist suggested I try not to give the canSer my energy. I know what she means but I cannot simply not think about it. If I do that then how do I focus on being canSer free?  I didn’t experience anything else and slept reasonably well last night. I don’t however feel completely rested when I awake. Strange.

Today, I went for pranic healing. I really like Les, the healer. He is so optimistic and really believes that we are ‘getting there’. He suggested that I put the doctors that make me feel anxious in my Soul Forgiveness Prayer. He thinks letting go of anything negative really would serve me well. I tend to agree with him. I do feel up tight and I feel it is wasting my energy.

I received an email from Prof Dalgliesh this morning. I thought, ‘OO!’ But needn’t have bothered. He emailed to say the radiologist was off last week and hopefully they will look at my scan today. That’s nearly three weeks of waiting….

Anywho…. The afternoon is sunny and I have been reading a little and had the pleasure of my kitty’s company. Life really isn’t bad when it’s like this, is it?


I must be doing something right?!

Mondays… don’t you just love them? I do. It’s the day that you get everything all back to normal from the weekend and get ready for the week ahead. The house is cleaned from top to bottom, the washing done and bits and bobs all organised. It’s very cathartic and de-cluttering for the mind.

I have done all of the above today and I must admit I feel a bit pooped. I have a stinker of a cold now too. Friday I had a sore throat and thought that I wouldn’t let it get me but by yesterday the nose started to run and I was sneezing like a goodun’! I did the usual panic moment and had to ask Pete if everything would be ok. I always dread getting any illness whilst having canSer as I can’t help but suspect it could be more sinister. Pete said he thinks it could be a good thing. Gettting the immunity to have a response could be the thing that helps rid me of canSer.  I have to admit in my gut I think it isn’t anything to worry about. I don’t feel that ill. It’s simply a head cold. Picture me with a streaming nose and eyes! It’s not going to stop me from working tomorrow or going to my hospital appointment either. In fact I feel well enough that I did some light exercise this morning and yoga too. I believe that when exercising the body releases good hormones and I think that can only help my body recover from this cold quicker.

The cold has probably been brewing for a while but thankfully I didn’t really feel it too much over the weekend as we had our new friends visit. We met them whilst skiing in Austria in February and this is the first time since we got back that we have seen them. We had such a laugh and felt very relaxed with them. Some people are no effort at all and being around them is so very relaxing. That’s how it was this weekend. We had so many laughs (being complete goons!) I am sure our neighbours must love us ringing a fire bell at midnight! I know, I know why have we got a fire bell? It’s a long story but let’s just say our house is full of fun and surprises! I am sure the late night on Friday didn’t help my cold but life is for living. I am kind to myself as much as possible but sometimes I simply cannot miss out on all the fun!

I have been chatting today with a friend about canSer and how it affects the individual. We both agreed and believe that canSer is about ‘letting go’. Of course there are the physical elements and factors to be taken into consideration but letting go of the old stuff, the old you, the old habits, is the only way to evolve and the biggest part of healing is on the inside and in the mind. It’s funny because I have been thinking this a lot recently. I feel like a different person that I was 9 months ago. I can honestly say life is great. I know there are things we would all rather not have to endure and to put up with and always think things could be better, but actually my life is just peachy. Yesterday afternoon when our friends had gone and Pete and I were having our afternoon TV snuffle, I couldn’t help but tell him how very happy and grateful I am to have such a wonderful man in my life. I said that when we are old and grey we would still be tucked into the corner of the sofa holding hands and snuffling closely. Pete interjected and said that he is already old and grey! Ha ha! But I corrected him by saying old is when he is 95 years old. I honestly believe that we could both live to that ripe old age and if we get that opportunity to be together for that many years then boy, life has been wonderful. I hope that the Universe lets that happen and we live healthily for many many decades yet.

Just think by the time I am 95 years old there will definitely be a cure for every canSer going. It’s inevitable. Its right under our noses I think. Drugs and treatments aside I believe the cure is right under our noses anyway. Unlocking the mess we hold inside is the first step to our future health…

Tomorrow I am at the hospital for my next clinic appointment. I received a letter last week for my next ct scan which was booked for Monday 22nd April, but as I am going to be having treatment in Germany I have now postponed it until the 8th May. I am sure Prof Harris won’t be too pleased as he has wanted the scan done of the past five weeks but the radiology department must be busy. I don’t mind waiting. It gives me almost a month of hard work, focussed visualising and really being good with my diet. Pete and I have both decided that being vegan for a while is good way of cleansing ourselves and almost like a bit of a detox. By the time I have the scan it will be about 12 weeks since my last one.

The last few months have been really great. We haven’t been away on any little trips other than Germany and instead we have been spending lots of time with friends. I never realised how important they are in my life until now. The rest of April is the same and I am really looking forward to catching up with friends old and new. I feel blessed that they like spending time with me and my Bear.  One of the most important things for canSer patients is support and to live a normal life. I think I have the balance down to a tee. I simply do not let canSer rule me anymore.

Thankfully, as with the last 6 cycles of chemo, this cycle has been pretty much the same. I have felt great and I haven’t had any side effects. Phew…. I must be doing something right!

Healing my spirit

We have been trying to contact the doctor in Germany today but sadly he has been unavailable. We will just have to be patient. I received an email today with a list of herbal medicines recommended for me to take. Checking them out online it seems most are to boost immunity and have beneficial effects against cancer. I am seriously going to rattle! ha ha!

I am having a fasting day today- that doesnt mean not eating. it means having mainly fluids, smoothies and warm soups. This is to release more toxins that are bound up in my liver. It will prepare me for my colonic session on Wednesday. Also I had my second acupuncture session followed by healing. Wow it was really powerful. I understand energy but Lyn Ng (who is Michael- the acupuncturists wife) was really calming. I instantly chilled out and her voice was amazing. I can’t normally focus when asked to breathe with my eyes closed. My mind normally wanders but I felt such a strong feeling of happiness I felt like smiling.I had such a feeling of something pulling me and many colours in my mind. I can’t wait for next time. I left feeling centred. Lyn explained that the spirit has to be strong in my heart. Then everything else will fall into place.I think I will sleep well tonight. For details on any reference I make to treatments and books etc I will add to a page. Please contact me if you would like any details in the meantime.

Fingers crossed we get a reply tomorrow re going to Germany. No time like the present!