I’m on a journey.. (I hate saying ‘journey’- I sound like someone on the X Factor!)

This morning started with an epsom bath, meditation and yoga.

Second day at Doctor Kates. I wasn’t sure what we would cover today but again it flew by!

We discussed in detail the supplements I am taking. I have been feeling overwhelmed with the quantity and have decided to drop a lot and replace a few of them with new ones. They are all very much immune boosting. Kate discussed the effects of foods on the body. A lot of what I have currently been eating and drinking are having a ‘downward’ effect which means they are hugely metabolising and although they are massively antioxidant and immune boosting the overlap could be making my body work harder. (it makes me think of my favourite saying ‘Keep it simple’) It’s funny because she mentioned how sometimes I may be drawn to warm rather than raw foods. She really taught me to learn what foods help certain organs. I have come away with many recipes, info and yet more supplements and tonics.

Kate discussed the scientific evidence some of the supplements have, in particular reishi (especially for triple negative breast cancer) and reishi spores. Reishi spores are difficult to obtain but a well know Chinese doctor swears they will fix canSer!

She discussed a lot about how although I feel better and well, that my pulse was weak in places. That I have to start stopping! I mustn’t do any hands on treatments as I’m too depleted. She recommends I start recieving more treatments particularly acupuncture and reflexology. She urged me to have more baths but to use dead seal salts and pink himalayan salt not epsom, and to place crystals in them. I get the feeeling that she is suggesting things that wil be softer, nurturing and kinder to me.

I discussed that I used to be so holistic and somehow I have moved away from it. She believes I know a lot and I am already doing and making the right positive changes but I must try to listen and trust my heart.

She played devils advocate by asking, ‘What would happen if you just stopped worrying about your next scan and whether the canSer had got bigger? I said I had to know so I could deal with the next problem, She replied, ‘ because there will always be a problem?’

We did EFT to release the feelings of anger I have against the comments from the specialists at the hospital over the last year. She made me look at everything with a different view. I do feel ‘lighter’ now.

I feel her strong sense of belief with the reishi spores and acupuncture is amazing. I didn’t think she could really teach me much but she has, and now I have a clear plan- 6 weeks on reishi, reishi spores and chaga then 4 weeks off. If by my next scan things haven’t improved, the dose will be doubled.

Kate said she woudn’t normally notice with other people but she felt and could see, that I am protected. She said, ‘Whether you call them light beings or angels, whatever, you are being protected.’ OK- that got me. She hasn’t seen and doesnt know about my blog. She said that I have a lot of glow and great energy. 🙂

I do feel that the things I have been drawn to are right, although I may not have thought they would benefit me in a such a way, such as youga, acupuncture and meditation.

So there it is- I’m on a journey, the fog is lifting, things are becoming clearer. I have to trust, believe and be kinder to myself or if I don’t then I won’t be strong enough and cope as well as I could. (I hate saying ‘journey’. I sound like someone on the X Factor!)

There are miracles out there but Dr Kate really does think combining conventional treatment such as surgery, chemo and radiotherapy with alternative treatments such as tradional Chinese medicine, acupuncture, herbs, nutrition will give individuals the best possible chance of remission. and that;s the whole pint of my ten point plan!

My battle isn’t with canSer it’s with myself….

We discussed what I’d say to canSer. Do I believe that it is part of my body, since the body created it? No. So I told the canSer that I repsected it but it’s not welcome.  She tried to calm me by saying that having the tumours stop or slow right down in growth is probably better that them going altogether as this makes it a stable disease. Kate said that a study of 80 people who died from other ways than canSer, all had autopsies and over 5% of them had primary canSers that they didn’t know about. They had lived happliy with canSer but hadn’t known. I know she is right and I know I have to cope with living properly in the knowledge that it’s there, possibly- it may have already gone! 🙂  But as long as I spend time worrying about it and wishing for it to go and trying to control it, it’s winning because I am giving it power and energy.

So a summary- I need to be kind to myself. I need to listen to my heart and be more intuitive. And I have to over come the constant need to know what is going to happen to somehow change the outcome. I must continue with my plan and really help myself in every positive way. That’s an action plan I think anyone would struggle with but I am game on! True control comes from doing nothing. That doesn’t mean stopping trying to help myself. It means letting go. I can only do the best at that time and trust it is the best thing for me.

You gotta have faith!

The journey from home to Hanover to Duderstadt was seamless (as I always say, like a well oiled machine!)

It’s funny when you live in the present- fear and worries disappear. The weather has been bright and the German countryside looks amazing. It feels a bit like home; same faces, same hotel.

Pete was waiting for me after my treatment and said that something odd had happened. He seemed really stirred up and emotional. The lady who runs the coffeee shop (who gave the angels to me- we shall call her the ‘Angel Lady’ from now on) approached him.  Now I am not mad, crazy and I am not a total airy fairy nutter but I do believe in energy and I am open minded. Pete is less spiritual (no surprise there especially with the hardships he has encountered throughout his life).

Pete said to the ‘Angel Lady’, “The angels are working” (because I am feeling so well). She said, ” How do you know they are working?…” Pete replied, “Sorry?” She said, “Because you don’t pray enough to your angels.” Pete said,” Which angels?” The Angel Lady replied, ” You have two angels and your wife has three.” Pete was now a bit confused and asked, “How do you know that?”. “Because I can see them”, she said. (Boy I’m never going feel the same going to the loo again!) Pete asked, “Are they people that I might know?” He was thinking about his mum and dad. She said, “Of course you know them, they are with you all the time”, which didn’t sound like someone he’s known but a presence in his life. The Angel Lady said,” They’ve told me your wifes’ going to healthy again but you have to pray more. (But she didn’t say to God) “They are not happy that you don’t talk to them but the big thing is that you have to keep your faith. Faith is the key. Do not lose your faith”. This was strange as we had a conversation the night before that both of our belief was struggling. Pete said it felt like she had spoken straight to his soul. One line keeps ringing, ” I know for sure she will be healthy”. She said it in such a way, like it was obvious. The Angel lady then walked away.

Pete left feeling moved and a bit mad all at the same time. The thing with this kind of thing are the signs- whether you look for them or just think they are coincidence as I’ve said before. Just as he was walking up the road to meet me two dragon flies flew over his head together.- what are the chances of that?!

This story did move me- of course it did. I don’t want people thinking I’m losing my mind but it made me think of a ‘strange’ sight on Sunday.

Travelling home from the weekend three white doves were sitting in the road and flew away right in front of us. Pete said even then ‘How strange – Why would there be white doves on the A34?’ At the time I thought it odd and wondered what sign it could be but questioned if it was for meas Pete and two friends were in the car and why should I assume it was a sign for me? Or was it nothing at all?

Now I’m thinking- wow… my three angels were showing themselves? I was having a really tricky day doubting my faith …

Believer or not I’m not taking any chances. I’m praying baby!

Pete says that he has seen many things around the world. Incredible feats of strength and achievements purely because the individual was motivated and believed they could do it. The power of the mind -and maybe this gives new meaning and different view of Point Two of the Ten Point Plan- Mental Strength.

For now I’m going to get Pete to start praying to his angels and I’ll sing ‘Faith’ by George Michael to myself! 🙂 X