A tense journey but we can finally relax….

It’s been a busy few days for Bear and I. Friday we took our friends at 5am and drove to the Eurotunnel. We had a little euro tour planned again but not for treatment this time. For the next 3 weeks I am on vacation. I know 3 weeks right?! How lucky am I?

As I couldn’t fly due to having had ablation less than two months ago we decided to drive to the south of France stopping en route. France is so beautiful and the changes of scenery are breathtaking.

Sadly our journey down here was more than we bargained for.

I stupidly forgot our passports and left them in the first hotel we stayed in. We stopped in a place called Beaune. It was so traditional and beautiful. We got up nice and early to get to our final destination in plenty of time to be able to settle in then I got a call to say I had left them behind! Doh! That added on a couple of hours to our five hour journey. Oops…. Then the whole of France must have decided to descend onto the motorway we were on. The long and short of it was that throughout the journey the estimated rival time extended to 11 hours and to top it off a large holiday caravan type vehicle decided to drive at us. Yes at us, taking our whole wing mirror off! It made such a loud noise we all thought something must have gone through our windscreen or taken the side of the car off!

Driving on the opposite side of the road is hard enough in a foreign country but driving without the wing mirror you so depend on is well, driving with a death wish! But we had no other choice. We have found a garage and in our broken French spoke to the mechanic who has sourced the mirror but we have to wait five days before it can be fitted. And the cost, well, it’s sickening!

We have tried to not get too upset by this and have ploughed on at having fun.

The weather is changeable but lovely and I have been doing what I love the most-sunbathing.

It has been quite a topsy turvy time for my bear and I. Having people with us means we don’t cuddle quite as much and the heat at night has meant we sleep at a distance. We miss each other and tempers have been flaring. I have been told that I am more agressive than normal and even though I don’t think I have I can only put it down to feeling under par.

I have continued to struggle with drinking green juice and taking my meds and supplements without the want to vomit. I have had stomach aches and upset tummies. Today though I feel much better. Maybe it’s because I am calmer and happier or maybe I have just got over myself and letting my mind dominate.

Where we are staying is very relaxing and yesterday I got to meditate and do a spot of yoga, I hope to get into a routine whilst here. Pete has to return to work so I will be here with my mum and some friends. I have already been losing sleep about driving here! But I am sure I will get myself sorted out eventually.

Yesterday we spent some time lazing by the pool and I got to read some really interesting documents that kind followers have been sending me.

I am hearing and reading a lot about mebendazole still.  I think I will need to book to go to the clinic in London that uses it.

Mebendazole disrupts the glycolic pathway while at the same time it can cause the cell membranes of mitochondria to rupture and cytochrome C, which leads to apoptosis.

I read though that not only that but other things like NSAIDS such as Ibuprofen (not sure it is the type you can buy in the chemist) are very helpful for treating cancer.

NSAID’s formulated in lipids which would be preferentially taken up by cancer cells, due to elevated levels of LDL receptors on cancer cells. Such a form of ibuprofen exists. The dose would be 400mg three times a day.

Ibuprofen binds COX1 and 2 and PPAR Gamma receptors in cells. Activation of these receptors in cancers cells particularly invokes apoptosis of those cells.

In addition the benefit of ibuprofen would be to treat inflammation induced by cancer, the ascites that sometimes results and the attends pain.

This seems quite exciting because these things should be easily added to my protocol if they are effective and if they are useful are relatively cheap to take.

I am definitely going to pursue this when I get back and in the mean time book an appointment.

My cough has been pretty bad since I have been away but today, touch wood, it seems to be much better. I hope it is what Pete says, that it is only the lymph nodes effected by the dying tumours. I don’t feel ill other than that and the fact it comes and goes is a good thing. I am hoping by the end of this break I will be as good as new.

I have continued to take scorpion venom along with reishi and more. The boot of our car was full of everything I need to do on a daily basis.. Lucky we drove really.

So today I am going to rest by the pool, listen to some music and maybe take a stroll along the beach later. Then I think I will do the same the next day, then the next and well, you see a pattern forming here.

Au revoir!

A dreaded phone call from the secretary….

I have been feeling really good the last few days. I feel like a different person compared to the one I was last week. The only thing I can put it down to is the injections of il2 and maybe combined with the IMM101, because who knows what that is doing to me?!

My day was bumbling along nicely when I got a call from a secretary at the hospital, here in Oxford. I hadn’t emailed asking for my scan results in the last two days because I thought they would get there in the end. The secretary said that unfortunately Professor Harris, my oncologist, has decided he thinks it is best that I receive my results in person on this occasion- In a week’s time. Oh god…. I felt sick. Adrenalin pumping around my body, then I started shaking. I said to the secretary, ‘But surely he does realise that I will feel absolutely awful for the next week?’ She said her hands were tied. I tried to probe her by saying, ‘I take it the results aren’t good then?’ She said ’I don’t understand the results and what they mean so I cannot pass comment.’ OK, I reluctantly wrote down the time and day that Prof wants to see me, next Tuesday. I asked if the Prof could at least call Pete and talk him through the results today. This would give us time to digest the information before we see him next week?  She said she would ask him then call back.

All in a flap I emailed Pete the title saying, Oh God… I then got a call back saying that due to the trust policy Professor Harris was unable to call and discuss my results. These are MY results aren’t they? Not in the mood for arguing or causing more aggro than necessary I just agreed that next Tuesday would be D Day then.

I got a reply from Pete saying quite bluntly. ‘The results won’t be all bad Kitty.’ The radiologist only has my last scan to compare it to. They have no idea that I have ablation because that was done somewhere else. I have small lumps all over my tummy from the il2 injections; not sure what they would look like on a CT scan and so on… He’s got a point. He said ‘This battle is far from over and we have so much to fight it with yet.’ So matter of fact and well.. normal. He’s brilliant.

Actually by the time I read his email I had calmed myself down quite a bit. I thought to myself it could be anything. It could simply be that the tumours that were there have grown. My mind initially was thinking that there were lots of new tumours, in new locations… You know the worst. But I have to keep reminding myself that despite the niggly feelings of illness I don’t have any symptoms still. Surely this is a good sign?

I refuse to let my 60,000 thoughts a day go on worrying about what might be. I am not using my imagination on worry. So when Pete came home we had a big cuddle and continued on as normal. I have to admit it was on my mind a bit but I didn’t express it much.
Ironically I slept like a log! The deepest sleep I have had in a while now! Go figure? I simply don’t understand the patterns I go through. Weirdly enough whilst lying in bed before I fell asleep last night I had the urge to public speak. I hate standing up in front of people and talking. In fact I would call it a phobia. I blush and feel terrible. I must be having a mid life crisis or something!



Today I have decided to revisit a few things that have popped up recently and I always think when they keep coming forth then it is worth investigating again.

Mebendazole is a worming medication. Usually children who get worms take this form of simple medication. I was kindly offered this information by a virtual friend who has got my back, (Thanks Daniel) and I also heard from Pete Trayhurn (Another canSer go-getter) that he is also taking it.

Mebendazole apparently combined with cimetedin which I already take should be goer, straight away. On that basis I think I will get myself some ASAP. What harm can it do? Stop me from having worms? Ha ha!

Here is a short explanation as to why mebendazole is useful for canSer treatment that I took from the information on this link;


‘If you have ever cared for young children then you are probably familiar with this medicine under the name of Vermox, Ovex, Antiox, and Pripsen. It is usually prescribed to treat pinworms, roundworms, whip worms and hookworms — organisms that find an unwelcome home in our intestines. For some time now, scientists have known how it works, but the method of death meted out to the targeted parasites was of little interest to them. But that has since changed.

How it works…

This next part gets a little technical. I’ll try to explain things in a general way. I’m by no means a scientist or biologists but I’ll share with you what I have learned.

One of the misconceptions that people have about a cell is that it contains a nucleus, a cell wall and everything inside (cytoplasm) kind of sloshes around in a liquid or gel. In fact, the inside of a cell contains a kind of scaffold made of micro-tubules, also called spindles that have the ability to assemble and disassemble quickly. This network of rigid micro-tubules inside the cell gives it shape, structure and also has the ability to transfer organelles and various molecules to different parts within the cell, functioning like a railway system. But its most vital function is cell division.

Mebendazole is known to interfere and inhibit the assembly of the spindles, thus preventing the ability of the cells to divide. The cell eventually dies of old age or aptosis. Mebendazole is highly selective and somehow targets only cancerous cells (as well as a host of intestinal parasites). At the end of this article I will post a few of the many scientific papers acknowledging these facts.

You will also see why there is virtually no pharmaceutical interest in mebendazole. The big pharmaceutical companies are promoting more toxic chemotherapy drugs because there is no profit margin in mebendazole. It’s yet another example of corporate profit outweighing human benefits.’

To read the full article click on the link above.

There are a few other things that I have listed that are also looking very beneficial. Once I have done the research I will share the information on here. Watch this space….