A day of two halves…

Yesterday was a day of two halves.

 

In the morning I had a lovely lady come to the house to do The Journey process with me. After having read Brandon Bays book Pete thought it may really help me to uncover what may have been buried deep within me to cause canSer. Nicky Hague was friendly and very approachable and I felt immediately comfortable with her.

The process is a bit like hypnosis but you go deeper into your feelings and let them wash over. At the same time you allow yourself to travel anywhere in your body and where you end up may bring words or thoughts to the forefront. Sometimes it can uncover tings that you thought you had dealt with but actually haven’t been let go of.

It took about 2 hours and after much expression and relaxation felt great at the end. Like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Nicky felt it went really well and said she would email me what happened during the treatment. Her details will be on the resources page. I highly recommend her. Obviously it isn’t just for cancer it’s for anything emotional or physical.

Sadly I didn’t have time to chill out after as instructed by the Prof the day before I had to get to the hospital to collect the chemo drugs to get started. Once at the pharmacy they tell me there isn’t a prescription only a referral letter?! What?

I had to go to oncology, they made phone calls and they told me it had to contact Prof Harris- who isn’t in til the following Tuesday! Then they decided to get another doctor to sign the script.   This could take hours and did. To be fair the pharmacy staffs was amazing. During this time I just felt gutted again. It was like a poke in the eye. So I decided I would contact Prof Harris secretary. I discussed everything that had happened and ended up in tears. I had had enough. She came down to meet me and said that I should email; her with any questions or requests and she will get them to the Prof ASAP.

I eventually got my drugs two hours later and actually felt like I had achieved something by having to wait and discuss things out.

In the evening I drafted a huge email to the secretary and also copied in the CEO of the hospital.

I’m still feeling emotional and very upset and confused. I haven’t started taking the drugs. I just don’t feel confident in the decision until I speak to someone- anyone at this stage!

The Negative Health Service

Today  I had oncology appointment with the consultant to discuss more in detail and to collect results of MRI and CT scans. I don’t mean to sound off but to be told the scans were nothing scans and brushed over was a little alarming- to me that’s an amazing thing. The canSer hasn’t gone to my liver or my bones! Whoop de whoop! I almost think the doc would’ve been more impressed had there been some metastases. The plan is to wait for results and go back in September. There was no urgency or worry that time is of the essence. We discussed our ten point plan but as expected water off a ducks back. The look in her eyes was defeat. She advised me to enjoy alcohol and any food I like- although she did think alcohol could be a factor. She doesn’t believe changing my diet would help. I walked out as expected, deflated. I am having another ct scan at end of August – I really want to know if the nodules are growing. Moving on from that- there is no point expelling thoughts or emotions on it.

 

Time for me this afternoon- I had acupuncture to help with energy flow and also on a spiritual level. I really enjoyed it but couldn’t help wanting to see what I looked like with needles in me!