It feel like it has been ages since I last blogged. I’m not ignoring everyone I am just simply having too much fun living and relaxing and being away from home and out of routine. I’m into my second week away and it already feels like I have been here an eternity. Friends have left and more friends and family have joined me.
Sadly Pete has gone home for five days. He has to work. I am so lucky to be able to be on holiday but it feels so weird that Pete is not here.
What is there to report?
I have been battling with my meds and supplements still. But think I am conquering my nausea by eating something with them. I have had a few days break from green juice.
Sleep is still really hard. The other night it was very very windy and it felt and sounded like the house was going to fall down. The heat is crazy here but I am soooo not complaining. It is now September and the sun is still shining and the heat is immense.
I wish I could sleep better but at least I do not have to anything much during the day. To be honest I could sleep all day if I wanted!
I am not writing this to make everyone jealous. This is a once in a life time for me. I have never stayed in one place for this long and it feels great. I will want to go home though. Just not yet.
I would like to feel healthier. I don’t like having stomach aches, head aches, nausea and more. A lot of how I feel is down to anxiety too I think. What have I got to. BE anxious about? Nothing really but old habits die hard.
Whilst here I am still doing my weekly module of the health coaching course. Funnily enough it has been focussing on the importance of sleep. Oh sleep… How I miss you. I miss cuddles with my Bear and I am counting down the days till he returns.
I have been getting really brave driving here and yesterday had the wing mirror replaced. For a short moment there it looked like it wasn’t going to happen but thankfully the lovely French mechanic sorted it for me. Phew. So now the car is as good as new but our credit card balance has been hit hard. Boo.
Today I am going to try and eat well, stay well hydrated and rest. I have been doing lengths of our little pool here. Although not as many as my friend. She did 140 lengths this morning!
Last night I had copies of letters emailed to me by Pete. They were letters from my oncologists sending update letters to my GP. It was quite nice to read that they think things could be going in the right direction but that my next scan in October will be one to confirm that.
Prof Harris also wrote to say that he couldn’t give me mebendazole but gives his consent for me to proceed and have that treatment if I can get it. He also said he doesn’t believe a PET scan will be any better than a CT scan but if that is what Professor Dalgliesh would like then he will happily organise that for me.
It seems that the oncologists are all very agreeable at the moment! I like it!
Lying here getting browner by the day ( I do love a tan) has given me time to think about the forthcoming months. There is a lot to look forward to. Social events, trips away, treatments and more. I am even going to a spa at a London hotel with my old school friend when I get back. Not that I need pampering.. But any excuse for a good old catch up and gossip.
I have emailed Professor Vogl informing him of my current status and asked his advice. He is also so quick to reply and his emails do make me laugh. They are so short but to the point. He is very keen to get me to go there and have a scan and then if I want and need have TACE immediately.
I am not sure about this as I am in Duderstadt the week after I return from France. I may try to tie in after my scan around October time if we can make time for it. I’m obviously hoping I don’t need to go there but I have to say I am quite intrigued about meeting the man himself.
So my iPad just overheated whilst I typed this outside. I have now taken my iPad out of the fridge to finish off!
I feel so grateful and so very lucky to have this life in every way. I am so very grateful that despite my annoying niggles of nausea, diarrhoea etc, that I actually do not have any canSer symptoms. I look up to the sky from the lilo I am floating on at the deep blue sky and think to myself, don’t ever let this end. This feeling of calm, happiness and serenity. Give me back my Bear and then I will be complete.