Pretty please?

I took the opportunity yesterday to enjoy the weather as much as possible after detoxifying my house. (It was desperate for a proper dust and hoover amongst other things!) So despite my list of things to do growing I decided to have lunch and then read my new book in the sunshine with the cat on my lap.

The book is about energy experiments that prove your thoughts are your reality. I decided that I would try it out and see what happened. I have been waiting (patiently) for ‘people’ to contact me.

I often wonder why‘people’ say they will do something within a time frame and then don’t do it. I then think is it me that’s being a pain in the arse for getting arsey with them for not sticking by their words?

Well with this new experiment underway I decided to believe that the universe would give me what I wanted and that I would hear from these ‘people’ within 24 hours.

Low and behold I did. I didn’t necessarily get the result I was hoping for but I did at least hear from them. The experiment worked.

First thing this morning I received a short mail from Prof Stebbing basically saying that he thought it was hard to tell if I can have a biopsy for the genetic test and that I should discuss with my oncologist Prof Harris. I was totally confused. If I wanted to discuss this with Harris surely I would have done that? I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t have it done unless they say it is physically not possible, especially after being told that I could potentially.

He replied asking my mobile number. I gave it to him. He called. He was very obscure and almost intimidating in the way he spoke but I have gotten used to thinking that is just the way he is. As with all intelligent men in this field we are supposed to simply trust them without question. The problem with e is that I have bloody millions of questions! He said that in his professional opinion that I should be looking at having a platinum agent rather than genetic testing. I said I thought that having the biopsy now was the right order to things. I could at least then have the genetic test at a later date all whilst I am having chemo or some other treatment. He said he feels I have paid too much money for treatment and doesn’t want me to do that anymore. He said a biopsy could cost me in the region of £50,000 if it goes wrong. How could it go wrong? I asked. He said that it could have a bleed or infection etc. Plus he said that paying in the region of £7000 for a genetic test is simply too much. Ok so why did they suggest it then? The mind boggles.

He said that I need treatment options right now and not diagnostic options. Ok hear ya..and I’m not against having a platinum agent such as gem/carbo regime (not that I am loving the idea of having my body flooded with chemicals) he said he wasn’t fobbing me off and that if his wife had  to choose , this would be it. OK I really hear ya. I am sure he said, ‘Ok darling, bye’ at the end. Ha ha!

So that was a weird start to the day. I always feel rejected when I am told that I cannot have something even if I didn’t really want it! It also makes me wonder are they telling me they don’t want to spend money because I don’t have private healthcare and unlimited funds.


I then get a call from the radiology department asking me to pay £243 for the cost of a radiologist to look at my scan to see if I can actually have a biopsy. Uh? I thought Stebbing had just said that I shouldn’t do that? I guess that they hadn’t communicated. Part of me wanted to pay the money and find out if I can at least have the biopsy. I haven’t rung them back to let them know. Still pondering.

I then called Dalgliesh’s PA. I decided this was easier than emailing. She immediately said that she had asked him to call the radiologist to tell me if I can have ablation. No such joy as yet. I then mentioned if they had heard back as to whether I can have the vaccination trial? She said she didn’t anything about it and that I have to wait till I get a reply about the ablation. For goodness sake… seriously. Its two weeks since I saw him. For people that work in oncology where time is clearly important how bloody hard is it?

I have to say how thankful I am for the NHS at this point. At least when it comes to treatments that they approve you can get them very quickly. Anything outside the normal route and guidelines however takes so much longer. I am waiting, seven weeks on to hear from the radiology department at the Churchill as to whether ablation is possible there. That said I am feeling a lot of love towards Prof Harris. He is the man right now that at least replies when I ask him something. It may not be want to hear but at least I get a reply. His PA, Emma, is a diamond too. She has emailed regularly for some time now and she is a god send.

I reckon the Universe has a plan. I don’t know if I was meant to wait all this time for my next round of cancer smashing treatment (even if it is chemo) but maybe that’s what was mean to be. Instead I have been on GcMAF. I had a batch arrive today for me to take for the next few weeks. Fingers and everything crossed it is at least doing something positive in three…. Please, please, please, pretty pleasejQuery15202801579472960667_1396455100883?

You never know how the day will pan out and what kind of news you get. I do like that about life but all these twists and turns play with the heart and the head.

I will keep digging for a reply from Dalgliesh- surely by the end of the week there will be some confirmation?