The Venetian Masquerade Ball was a huuuge success!

I’ve been a bit lazy these last few days. I’ve been meaning to write and give an update but the weekend was manic to a degree and as usual I needed to catch up on things.
The big highlight of the weekend and well I guess for the end of this year was the Venetian Masquerade Charity Ball that my friends suggested to raise money for our favourite charities; Breakthrough Breast Cancer and The Cancer Vaccine Institute.

Pete and I had quite a lot of input and helped out quite a bit by obtaining auction prizes and selling tickets and so on, so we felt quite nervous and hoped it would raise lots of money. Of course as a typical women, the other big thing was what to wear… Argh! For me I hoped that I would have hair but of course that wasn’t to be so my thoughts were, do I go bald or wear a wig or…?

The ball was being held at Caswell House, and the food and drinks and everything supplied from lighting, to the fun photo booth, to the dj, band, photographer and table centre pieces and everything were donated or provided at cost! My friends even paid for an additional photographer for me as a surprise! (Thank you ladies!)
As yet I haven’t seen any official photos but there are lots of snaps from friends…

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We arrived to a wonderful champagne reception with everyone fully glammed up and wearing masks.. I arrived in a red dress, red shoes, red and gold feathery mask and… A red sparkly bob wig! It was funny because some people didn’t recognise me! For me it was a big thing.. I didn’t want to look silly but thought it was a great opportunity to really be a bit extreme…

I have to say everyone excelled themselves. Every single man and woman looked awesome, so dapper and beautiful.

I simply cannot believe how quickly the night went. We arrived at 7.30pm and left at 1am! I wasn’t ready to leave! The food was simply divine, the auctioneer/MC was so funny and handled the night brilliantly.

A highlight of the night was how much the auction prizes went for! I cannot believe the generosity of everyone and it was so exciting!

The stand out moment was Pete’s speech..Everyone was left teary eyed and it really focused our minds as to why we were there. I couldn’t look at him for fear of really blubbing and ruining my make up! I think his message got home though. His main point was how much love there was in the room… The circle of love. I really believe that everyone felt it.

On the night I was being updated as to how much we were making.. I couldn’t believe that £2000 was made on raffle tickets alone! My numbers were called out.. I won a lovely Christmas wreath.. It’s on my front door now.


Yesterday I got an email from Kate at Caswell House to say after all costs that the total raised was £20,560.00! Oh my goodness!!!!!! This is an outstanding amount to have raised..

I want to thank everyone who came, who donated, who supplied and contributed in every way. I know the money doesn’t directly help me but I hope that it helps so many ladies and their families and I hope that they will never be in my shoes… Bring on a cure.. Please.

The following morning we headed over to Witney to see our friends and my mum for breakfast then I think we all started to feel very jaded. Pete and I and our lovely friends Alex and Lee spent the afternoon watching rugby and eating! We chilled and laughed and generally felt very grateful. Sunday was very much the same for us when our friends went home. It may seem like we spend a lot of time doing very little but that’s exactly what we need sometimes… It’s so nice to wind down and be wrapped up in a soft blanket and have my feet rubbed by my Bear… I love him so much.

This week has been going well. I have nothing much booked in so it’s brilliant. I have been getting admin done, doing my daily rituals and really trying to get on a roll.
I’ve been exercising, doing yoga and eating very well. I still look very pale and have very puffy eyes. Nothing a bit of make up won’t cure or a holiday….. He he… Which we have booked!

In true Pete fashion, he said that we have to keep living like we normally do. So despite having to travel abroad and go to hospital we should still book our trips away like we always do. We didn’t want to hang around over the new year holiday period so have booked to go to warmer climes and get some vitamin d and bliss out. I was a bit
nervous booking a holiday but now I have done it I’m really excited! Whoop!

I have had confirmation from St Barts that they finally received my tumour sample and they have sent it to be tested. Hopefully this Friday or next Monday I should know if I’m eligible for the trial… Watch this space.
I have also had confirmation from the Churchill hospital in Oxford that I have an MRI and CT scan booked for next week, so the results should be with Prof Harris the following week when I see him. So that’s good, I will at least know in detail what is going on and if the radiotherapy has worked. I have everything crossed. I have to say I feel better in myself. Still no cough, no headaches and now no shaking. That’s got to be good news?!

I am definitely getting in the Christmas spirit. I have been doing all my shopping online…Sorry Mr Postman! This weekend I am going to drag Pete to buy a Christmas tree and then we can have our ritual of singing Christmas carols around the advent candle…. Bring on the mulled wine and sparkly lights! I have started writing our Christmas cards and I have drawn some Christmassy pictures… He he… All in all this is a lovely week.

Bear and I are getting lots of sleep, eating really well and generally looking forward and loving to the max! We are spreading the love and feeling the love from all our friends and supporters… #circleoflove

Tomorrow I am being picked up by my sister, then spending a few days with my mum! We are going to finish the Christmas shopping and I get to be spoiled down in lovely Dorset by my mum….
Fun packed, love filled and generally looking forward to what’s coming next…

A massive light and love… XX

I would like to officially thank the following for their contributions and donations to making the charity ball a massive success;

My good friend Samantha, one of the Kitty’s Climbers, who thought this idea up and grafted over the last 6 months,
To Kate and Steph at Caswell House for all your hard work and making it happen so smoothly.
To Amanda and Richard for letting us host the ball at your stunning venue.. Caswell House is gorgeous and I can’t wait to be there again sometime!
To Jason and Nick from the Es Vive Hotel and Chic Villas in Ibiza for your generous auction prizes.
To Ivan and Harvey Nichols London for donating a wonderful cocktail masterclass
To the anonymous person who donated a signed arsenal shirt
To Nilam Patel for donating a spa day at her Dermaspa
To Marianna and Francesca at Soru Jewellery for donating the stunning rose quartz necklace
To Sarah Pooler and Ocean Beach Club Ibiza for donating a day/bed with cocktails

To all those who donated prizes they are featured on the ball programme attached…

Thank you to you all! You’re all amazing!


Back from the Land of Smiles.. and still smiling.. raring to go in 2013!

A big ‘Hello’ to all our new friends! You are probably wondering what this website and blog is all about. We hope to bring two things into your life.

Firstly, truth about success, positivity and a plan for all canSer (deliberately miss-spelt to stop its dominance) survivors and everyone who is supporting a survivor, not just with triple negative breast canSer but all canSers.

And secondly, as you never know when you may have canSer or any tragedy in your life, to look at life differently than perhaps you have. To never “put off” the things you want to do. Never say “I’ll travel when I retire” or put off that romantic dinner, visit to loved ones, hugs or even spending an hour exercising or in thought. Tomorrow may never come, yesterday cannot be changed and now, today is all you have.

So welcome to Making Triple Negative a Positive!


Still reeling at the number of followers we achieved before the end of 2012… I have unfortunately been distracted and havent been updating my blog so I do apologise for leaving you all in the lurch especially if you have only just joined us. The end of 2012 was a magical one spending it by the sea in Thailand with nothing to do but watch thousands of sky lanterns and fireworks going off – just me and my Bear. Nothing fancy, not sad and no expectations or resolutions. I don’t need to resolve anything. I just need to continue doing what I have been doing for the last 6 months. I suppose if I need to improve anything then that would be to have faith and trust implicitly. I must trust that everything will work out for the best.


The holiday was just what we needed and for the first time in ages I didn’t even think about canSer. I don’t feel ill and I don’t look ill so there was no reason to factor it into my life just for that short time.

The holiday was different than normal mainly due to the weather. Anyone that knows me knows I love the sun and would do nothing more than bask in its glory getting a get tan and soaking up the vitamin D and heat like a meercat. Sadly the weather was as unpredictable as it is over here in the summer. I tried not to be bitterly disappointed and tried to see what I was being taught. And I did learn something.


Due to the weather meant that we went off exploring, leisurely strolls along the beach, sea kayaking in caves, and boat trips. One morning we came across wild monkeys that were very comfortable around us humans (so much so they climbed all over me! Argh!) It was an amazing sight and so very funny. Another day we decided to have Thai massages and came across a little hut with a lovely woman called Tik Tik. She was very generous and spoke very good English. She told us she had learnt to speak English by relatives of some of those that lost their lives in the tsunami who still travel there every year to volunteer and help the children. She told us in detail about how devastating the tsunami was. It was incredibly moving yet she was upbeat and wanted to give us the nicest time. We had some more treatments! Pete had reflexology which is nothing like it is over here as they use a wooden stick. He was in agony but bizarrely felt better afterwards. He said he was being treated by the Queen of Pain! Ha ha!


Before we left, Tik Tik kept holding my hand and saying to Pete how charming I was. Pete told her that I had been ill and she said that her mother and sister have breast canSer so felt the pain and sadness too. She was very emotional and kept sniffing me (thought she was going to kiss me on the cheeks but no, she sniffed me!) Then she told me she loved me and said I was special and to be strong in my head and my heart. She insisted in us returning next year and she would throw us a party and she will cook Thai food for us. I believe her. I am going to keep in contact with her by email. I felt incredibly moved and that was the first time I had been reminded that I am apparently ill. I had a few tears….


The holiday was the first time since July that I had not exercised, meditated (well actually did it once on a rainy day), practised yoga, juiced or done any of my rituals. I didn’t feel like it. I just felt free. And it was lovely. I tried to continue with the best food choices that I could but sometimes a pancake fell into my mouth by accident and I did drink alcohol every day. And I don’t feel bad about it. I am not beating myself up and thinking I could be better. I still ate a very healthy diet better than before and I know that despite wishing for the weather to be better that it was the first time in a long time that I felt really happy and relaxed.

The holiday was topped off with a huge high. We returned to Bangkok for a day before flying home. We had a day of decadence and sunbathing followed by shopping and eating and drinking. All my favourites!


I definitely want to go back and even felt sad when it was time to come home. The Thai people are so calming and respectful. On the flight I became overwhelmed and the fear of the canSer returned just briefly. Everything seems so much more magnified. The real fear of getting sick and no matter what I think most of the time it’s those little moments of panic that really get me. Pete snuffled me and said I am going to be fine and everything is working.


I did a lot of reading whilst there and finished the book Love, Medicine and Miracles by Dr Bernie Siegel. Wow. I feel motivated and feel like this illness can be kicked no matter what I have been told. There is this excerpt that I liked;

‘To some extent, cancer is not a primary disease. It is partly a reaction to a set of circumstances that weaken the body’s defences. That is why when a doctor cures cancer or another disease without ensuring that the treatment addresses the patient’s entire life, a new illness may appear. .. One does not have to be a saint to be healed. It’s the effort of working toward sainthood that brings the rewards. As Richard Bach, author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull wrote, ‘Here’s a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you are alive, it isn’t.’


Back to reality now though; I’m off to hospital this morning for my bloods and clinic appointment and to be given my second cycle of chemo. If it’s anything like the first then it will be a doddle. I believe I won’t get any side effects. Started the day off nicely though with my green juice- oh how I’ve missed it! Then I must get the Christmas tree and decorations down for another year. Tomorrow I will start my rituals again… I’m looking forward to 2013. It’s going to be our year!!!