Day Four..

After a weird nights sleep (I think I took too many amino acids too close to bedtime) we got up early to train in the gym. I always feel so much better for making the effort.

I then go to the clinic early as we were having a lecture on foods.

To begin we were given the lowdown on how GcMAF works. It was really enlightening and informative.

Food then began to flow and weirdly enough red wine! At 9am in the morning? Anyway it was a nice time chatting with the other attendees. I noticed we all looked really bright and well. On chatting I find they have been asked to stay until Monday although not all are told they will be treated and certainly none were told they would be given the full treatment.

I am now not sure if I shold stay until Monday. All that extra cost for no extra treatment?!

I then find out a lady who takes naltrexone like I do but was advised to stop prior to starting GcMAF. I have not been advised to do this. Is this an oversight or different treatment?

I don’t want to feel anything but positivity about this treatment and I am very happy with the people here but feel there are missing elements. Should the Prof be here every day?

This afternoon Pete and I decided to head into Lausanne, after a short stroll we met some of the other attendees down by the port.

It was such a beautiful afternoon. Afternoon went into evening and we enjoyed an evening meal together…

Great day.

Don’t worry you’ll get to the top soon!

Today the weather has been lovely. So we took a drive Neuchatel, a beautiful chocolate box town that resides by Switzerland’s third largest lake. We were equipped in walking clothes and meant business…

The language here is predominantly French so it is hard to remember that we are not in France. Especially when surrounded by boulangeries, patisseries and so on.

The day started with tea and a croissant and we headed up to the local church. Everywhere here is hilly and by the time we ‘climbed’ to the church which has a beautiful view of Neuchatel both of our lungs and hearts were bursting out of our chests. We had to laugh when an old Swiss lady met us near to the top of the steps and said in French, ‘Don’t worry you will get to the top soon!’ Ha ha! We must’ve looked awful.

All I think is its fresh air, great exercise and I get to see the world and spend it with the man of my dreams.

After 2 hours walking by the lake we drove to Morat, an equally divine town bathed in history. Here they had a town oompah band really going for it! I had a little wiggle to it before we left to go ‘home’.

This evening we decided to eat in Lausanne again- boy walking to the Cathedral was such a challenge- my little legs.

Everything is expensive here. Time for bed…

Ladies what lunch…

Today was a real treat. For a long time I have been in contact with a lovely lady who contacted me through the blog. She is kind and helpful and up until now just hasn’t found time to meet. We don’t live a million miles from each other so for the first time we met over lunch. A friend of friend came too and it was so refreshing to talk openly about canSer. We are all on the same path, slightly different circumstances and stages and canSers but we are the same. We are driven, we are doing similar treatments and going to lengths many others do but thousands don’t. We have all been to see Doctor Nesselhut, are experiencing different drugs and have all had horrible stories to tell about how awful doctors have spoken to us because we don’t conform to their ideas. But then became amazed at results and the extension of life.

I felt inspired to keep trying. I was given advice on my trip to Switzerland for GcMAF and what to expect. It’s very helpful speaking to someone who has already been.

I have been ensured the Professor at GcMAF is great and could even help with looking at my scans. Well that would be nice!

We were gassing for hours before I knew it three hours had passed. How time flies!

Once back I had to get ready to travel to Switzerland. Kitty knows something is up. She plopped herself on my lap for a cuddle. Bless her. Luckily for me Kitty has a kind ‘aunty’ who takes care of her….

Today didn’t quite as planned…

Grrr… Today should have been a really good day. I didn’t have anything planned other than driving to have acupuncture in Farnham then pranic healing in Langley.

Being ever conscientious I ensured I had plenty of time in-between appointments to ensure I would get there in time just in case of accidents and tailbacks, especially with this crazy wet weather we have been having. I did perhaps over cook it by leaving two hours in between appointments but I figured I could go and have lunch or sit in my car and catch up on some admin and homework.

I had a lovely acupuncture appointment which then followed by great traffic and plenty of time to kill before my 2.15pm appointment. At 1.30pm I get a text to say that my appointment was to be postponed to 3pm. I have to admit I don’t respond well to stuff like this. I plan my days and I had to be home by 4.30pm. But I figured as I had travelled that far I would wait. I waited until 3.10pm and still no sign of the therapist. Now I hate moaning and I am sure there is a good reason for the delay… but I am just letting off steam. I’m home now and happy but I won’t get those three hours back plus I could have really done with the treatment as I start day 8 of my chemo cycle tomorrow.

I have been getting a lot of response about the GcMAF treatment from a few of my followers and have been avidly reading. It does seem promising in many respects and that it could work potentially very well with DC therapy.

Essentially GcMAF is a protein in our immune system that activates macrophages (white blood cells that eat cancer cells).   But viruses and malignant cells like cancer send out an enzyme called Nagalase that blocks production of your GcMAF.

Prof Harris said yesterday that if GcMAF was that good that it would have been distributed globally much like Herceptin which has made over 5 billion pounds! It clearly isn’t that good. But it does make me wonder is it because it is a simple vaccine immune boosting thing and it is only now that they are coming into favour? He said that I had something very similar to GcMAF when I had chemo a few years ago. They supplied me with injections that I gave myself daily to raise my white blood cell count. He said that GcMAF is essentially what that is. He also mentioned that Goliec which is another GcMAF offering is simply from Olive oil and that it would be best to get it from our nutrition. This made me smile. A doctor telling me about nutrition when they have always shied away from it?!

Anyway on reading through blogs and research it isn’t as simple as that. If you would like a firsthand view on GcMAF then click on this blog here;


Pete saw this online and it really sums up the last year for Triple Negative Breast canSer research in the eyes of a fellow blogger and author of Surviving Triple Negative Breast Cancer;

Hopefully now Ihave had some green juice, green tea and am making a homemade parsnip soup I will be able to reflect on today and look at the positives. Hey ho!


Frustrating start to the day but I got there in the end…

Phew what a mental day… I had a really early start as I was first in line to see Prof Harris today. I wasn’t sure why I had yet another appointment but all the same I got up to battle the elements. It frustratingly took an hour and half to go a twenty minute journey…Argh! I’m not sure how I am ever going to learn patience. It was all good though seeing the Prof wearing his leopard print tie! It cheered me up no end.

It was good seeing him and he explained that if I can take more chemo then it could be beneficial which is why he upped the dosage. He said if I start to feel rough or my bloods come back depleted then we will reduce it down again. Touching everything wood… I feel great.

The only downside to having early appointments is that I don’t have time to do my morning rituals. Now I know I could get up earlier but last night was such a good night’s sleep. Sigh… we both agreed this morning how good it was. One of those really deep calm sleeps. I put it down to the evening we had yesterday. We had a light meal, a bath listening to some soulful Eva Cassidy then got to bed really early and lights were out by 9.30pm. Bliss. I highly recommend trying to wind down in the evenings before you need to sleep. They say if you fall asleep within 5 minutes of turning off the lights you are sleep deprived.

The rest of the day has also been challenging with annoying phone calls to companies and trying to get things done like home insurance quotes. All necessary things when watching the pennies.

In the midst of all this I have had some great communications with people that have been reading my blog and are offering me advice and further links to more research as well emails from companies who supply products that I am interested in using for my clients; such things as supplements. As I am training to be a health coach and as I use products regularly I can only highly recommend that others do the same. This is an exciting time for me and I hopefully will be able to help many people.

This afternoon though I had time to catch up on my rituals like exercise and heat and air. I tried out Davina McCall’s new exercise DVD and I have to say I was well exercised and out of breath. I then felt that I should do another coffee enema. I don’t usually do them on consecutive days but really felt the urge to do so today. Besides it gives me time to listen to my lectures online.

The course I am doing is really interesting and I learning so many new ideas and diet approaches.

I actually feel quite tired now but I am excited as I have prepared a cauliflower and coconut milk curry for this evening’s meal. I love Thai food and this is going to amazing. Hurry up bear come home!

Boom back to reality!

Today was the first back to reality. I have to admit dragging myself out of bed what with the weather being so miserable was a hard task not because I was reluctant to get on with my rituals but because it meant applying myself. It’s so easy to let things slide. Once up though I as raring to go. I knew today was going to be a mix of chores and getting myself sorted for the year ahead. There is so much to be done, but it’s better than having nothing to do right?

I began my day with meditation, stretches then bounced away for a good half hour. I have to admit that it was hard work! I didn’t realise how quickly the muscles used become out of practice. My core and inner thighs were crying by the end of the session.

I had a coffee enema to start the week off well and used the Gerson blend of coffee that had arrived at the weekend. It was ground Turkish coffee. It looked great and I felt quite buzzy after having the enema. It spurred me on to clean the house from top to bottom and once that was done I then began my phone calls and research. I am trying to tie up lots of loose ends and look into the new treatment that I mentioned previously.

The treatment is called GcMAF. I am still finding out lots of info but if you would like to check it out here is the website;

So far I am less than satisfied with the information provided even by the staff on the telephones. They have little medical knowledge and the answers to my questions were all too flaky. I am assured that at their treatment centre in Switzerland there is very well known oncology doctor of thirty years. I am still at the stage of finding out more information and am awaiting first hand feedback from a friend of a friend who is currently receiving treatment there as we speak. I won’t dismiss it yet. I am keen to keep all options open. You never know it may be something I don’t need!

I have placed a number of orders over the last week for many new supplements and gadgets to make my life even better and easier. I am feeling a little overwhelmed with all the new information and things I have discovered in the book Mum’s not having chemo but it is all such good useful information.

Over the next week I will detail the new things whether it is supplements or treatments that I am looking into. I feel I am chiselling through so much potential good stuff!

One of my new year’s resolutions is to transfer all my makeup, cosmetics and more, to natural no nasty products. I have come across a few really good websites that supply so many amazing brands such as Love Lula, the natural place to shop;

So as not to scare Pete with the amount of new things I am going to order I aim to start slowly. I have also decided that I will do the same for my business, Live Love Glow. I have seen a no nasty nail range called Zoya. The products are Free from Toluene

• Free from Formaldehyde and Formaldehyde resin and toluene

• Free from DBP (Phthalates) and Camphor

• Vegan friendly

• Cruelty Free

• Safe during pregnancy

This is brilliant and I urge anyone to think about making positive changes to avoid toxicity in their lives and body’s.

So much to look into and let’s face I have plenty of time… this year is a big one for me I just know it.

The Bear is home now and I am looking forward to chilling with him. He’s going to get some cuddles tonight!


The day in the life of… Me!

Today I have been for my pranic healing session. Following on from the last treatment I have abided to the new suggestions Les made with regards to removing all crystals. I really like the healer as he has such a calming effect. I trust him, which I guess is essential if you want to be healed. It can be odd going to these types of therapies as the changes can be subtle, especially with pranic healing as it there isn’t any physical contact but I definitely do feel something. A few funny things happened today whilst he was working. My ears popped at one point then when he was working behind me my spine clicked. It never does that. I have an incredible heat rising in my chest area too and I feel a bit woozy.  At one stage he said he was going to be putting energy into my lungs and I may feel something. I didn’t think I would but I had a definite aching sensation. It’s weird but I love it. I truly believe that he is healing me. He said that he felt my base chakra had already changed size since I saw him last and was quite amazed. He said it has reduced in size and is the size it should be now. He also said that he felt my lungs were better but that the top right still had more there than the rest of the lungs, but he felt the scan results should still be good. I hope that he is right!

Now I am home I have the house to myself for the evening whilst Pete is out working. I have decided I am going to make the most of my time alone and have a coffee enema and another salt bath. This time I am going to try my new ila spa products.

I had a lovely surprise today whilst scouring twitter. I noticed a tweet from Nicola Jane mastectomy lingerie who was promoting their blog with me in it!  It was all about a day in the life of ME! He he… If you’d like a read here it is;


I have had a reasonably easy day today with a good friend visiting bearing gifts! She shouldn’t have but what a treat. We put the world to rights… Just as we should!

Got to go the cat is going nuts… she must want feeding again!

Three month scan already here! Urgh.. I don’t like this day. Everything can change.

The weather this weekend has been a tad windy to say the least. We went to Brighton to see our friend and check on our boat… Oh the poor boat. It is being bashed and thrashed by the elements. Worse still we had to sleep on her through the stormy winds and waves too.

It made for a very unsettled night but by morning despite the wind it was very crisp and bright. It certainly made us feel alive. My hair looked a state but I felt the stinging on my ears from the cold wind and it made it all the more comforting to go into a warm house.

On arriving at home we decided to settle down catching up on TV programmes all snuffled in our winter lounge. It sounds like we have a mansion… we don’t but we do have two TV areas. The snug is my favourite. Small, cosy and seaside themed and then our lounge where it is womb like and earthy. In preparation for the week ahead and the end to the weekend we both had an Epsom salt bath, with lovely aromas from incense and chilled tunes playing. You’d think that after that I would be floating away but I became really unsettled. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I can only assume it was because of the dreaded CT scan that was booked for today.

It doesn’t matter how much self talking and pepping I do I still get anxious before the three month scan. It’s because I worry about what may be. I think you have to be a very strong person to be able to stay calm and not fear the future. I am good most of the time… just not last night.

It didn’t stop me from sleeping probably because I was so wrecked from the lack of sleep on the boat (that I was sure was going to sink!)the night before.

Today has been great. I love getting back into exercise and all my morning rituals. Today I did rebounding and I find it such hard work which is great. I love knowing it working every cell in my body.

I try to weigh things up in my head. I know there are things I am slack on but then I think of all the things I do religiously. Ever the perfectionist, it makes life difficult staying positive and not being critical. I’ve tried to think if I know deep down what is going on inside of me. I have had funny sensations in my chest recently but then when I think when they happen it is usually when I am feeling a little stressed, so could be nothing.

The CT scan came and went today. It is always so fast and I don’t get time to really think long and hard in the hope that I willing my body to reflect itself as being in perfect health. I hope so very much that my results are good. I won’t get them for a week. As always this coming week will be a tough one. I am going to work harder at meditation and hope to buy a new mediation cd from the pranic healer tomorrow to start using a fresh. It’s good to keep things interesting. A bit like changing supplements and diet every now and then. The body likes change and it keeps it guessing. Variety is the spice of life and all that.

It’s done now… I say the same things every three months. It just goes to show that it never gets easier. Well it doesn’t for me as I care so much. I think I make such an effort that nothing less than success is enough.

Success is what I currently have I know. But I want more! At least I will keep trying for more but feel very satisfied with what I have. I don’t want to look back and feel disappointed. The key is to live in the present and be grateful.

Pete is great when I’m uneasy. He held me so tight last night that I couldn’t move. Just how I like it. I’m his teddy bear!

This week is a good one with a lot to look forward to so I am simply going to put the scan tot eh back of my mind and know that everything is going be ok…. It always is.

Whats the Universe got in store for me?

I have been having a lovely week with clients. I really love my job and I can’t seem to get enough. I have however had a few cancellations this week that has left my diary gappy. I normally see this as an opportunity to fit other things in. Usually it happens when I just need it for example if I am feeling unwell, tired or am trying to squeeze in other things. The Universe usually sorts things out for me one way or another. I was unsure why I was being given the time this week though. I figured it was so I could get my homework done. Yes, homework even before starting my nutrition course! Well I have ploughed through it and am ready to get going on the course, starting in a few weeks. I am yet to receive my pack though. I’m excited and nervous all at the same time. I wonder if I have bitten off more than I can chew? Time will tell I guess.

I have had some great night’s sleep this week and I love my bed. I never want to get up. I have spent some time in the early hours when waking to visualise.  My visualisations have changed again. I now see many mini mes’ inside working on each individual tumour in my lungs and one in my lymph nodes. I am using a powerful hoover to suck up the canSer cells and the tumours finally disappear. The canSer cells are grey and floppy. I then see big strong cells bowling around guarding the area to ensure no canSer cells come back. I see myself polishing the lymph nodes and making sure no more canSer cells get stuck to them and turn on a tap to ensure they are working properly. Bizarre, I know!

I have noticed that I feel really sleepy soon after taking my chemo drugs and think that it could be the anti sickness medication. So I have taken the plunge and stopped taking the anti sickness drug. A bit risky I know but I thought as I take the chemo drugs with food I should be ok. So far, so good. I haven’t experienced any sickness and the way I see it the less my body has to try and process, the better.

Today I have a few clients and then I’m off to have my nails done. My treat to myself. This weekend looks pretty good weather wise but I have plenty of things to be getting on with. One thing I really want to get back into is doing some artwork. It’s been ages since I used my ipad and did some scribbles. I feel like I have a mental block with what to draw. I want a theme to work to. Hmmm must get thinking and be more creative?


Light hearted and happy…. :)

Yesterday was one of my better days. I felt bright and breezy. I didn’t experience any tiredness and I felt rally buoyant.  I put it all down to the food and detox that I have been having. I didn’t sleep much last night and when I woke at 2.30am my mind was whirring. I couldn’t stop thinking of all sorts of things. One thing swimming around was the thought of becoming a health coach. I am really interested in training with the integrative institute of nutrition. The course is a yearlong and it’s mainly an online course. I feel it would hugely benefit me and my family and of course other people of all backgrounds but mainly canSer survivors.

I felt really excited generally and lots of happy thought were flowing. I even laid there and did a long visualisation session too. For the first time in ages my chest area really pulsated and had a huge warmth to it. I believe that toxins were making me feel bad physically and mentally and I think that becoming weakened in that sense made healing harder in every sense of the word. I now feel a real rejuvenation and know everything is going to be ok. I had a real strong feeling that everything is going to be ok.

Actually yesterday was the first time in ages when I didn’t want to think about canSer. It needn’t be part of my daily life as I only have now to enjoy. Anything else is a bonus. I like feeling like this and hope it stays….

I would ordinarily feel grumpy at only having four hours sleep and I am sure I will be wrecked later but I don’t feel grumpy. I feel light hearted. I have so much to be thankful for and I really appreciate the love and support that I receive. I feel inspired to get better and know more than ever that the body is an amazing thing that can surely show me the way. I aim to stay clean of toxins for as long as possible.

I am continuing to make more wish charity bracelets and soon there will be a whole new bundle for sale. I will keep you posted.

In the meantime we need to raise more funds for the boys and girl from local company VTUK. They are going to be competing in the Spartan Race on Sunday 25th August all in aid of the two chosen charities, Breast Cancer Breakthrough and The Cancer Vaccine Institute.

The Spartan race is a normal 5k run. It has fire, mud, obstacles and is generally tough going but Peter my husband and his colleagues are prepared to battle on to show support and raise all important funds. To show your support please click the link and make a donation;