Ha ha! Me feeling balanced?!

I had acupuncture today and although I thought I was feeling pretty good Michael said he thought my pulse seemed stressy but not for long.. as once he had finished he felt it was strong again.

I had a double appointment with him today as the second half of the session was on ‘focussing’. Once explained it seems that focussing is very similar to the techniques in the book I have just read called ‘The Journey’. Fundamentally focussing means you listen to how your body feels and not your head. I closed my eyes and Michael relaxed me by talking me down a bit like meditation. Then asks me if anything comes up, anything I want to pay attention to, any feelings, visions or anything. Things like this are really hard generally. Some poeple have lots bubbling inside and others don’t. For me I found it quite difficult probably because I am feeling quite balanced at the moment (Ha! That’s laughable with all the spontaneous tears but for me I’m feeling quite balanced! :)) Once really trusting myself I did start to feel things. Initally I felt like my heart and blood were rushing round my body, really loud in my ears and almost like my body was moving in time with it. Then I felt really excited, fit to burst! I don’t know why I couldn’t explain it but I had lots of colours and the picture of pegasus bursting right out of me with bright golden light! (I know, I am weird!) Then once that passed I felt like energy was moving downwards from my tummy to below my navel. I started to feel sadness, and teared up (no surprise there then!) Then moving on I felt tired and my legs and arms were having like I had been exercising. There a few moments of peace and calmness and I did feel better. It sounds like the feelings were very obvious but they weren’t- it was all very subtle. I don’t know if things like it work but I do understand that we create habits and personalities with things, that we say and do and trying to release ‘old’ emotions let’s us move on and become happy and free.

I really believe in that. I believe that my fear of public speaking and not wanting to do games or anything that will embarrass me comes from some hang up I must have created when I was younger. And it could be that it isn’t the fear of standing up in front of people and making a mistake or blushing but that it could be a fear of not being perfect and being criticised. The blushing thing happened once probably and because I associate it with public speaking or taking risks and being out of my ‘comfort zone’ I now blush every time I am in that situation. In fact the problem probably just lies with me not wanting to try that bit harder and that people aren’t being critical.. (Tell you what that fear is going to get a hammering later this month! Eek!) That’s just an example.

Now I am not one to ever say I had any traumas as a child, I always I say I had the best up bringing a girl could want. I have 4 brothers and 1 sister and you would think that would mean I got all the hand-me-downs but because of the age difference when we relocated when I was 11 years old it meant I was like an only child because all of my siblings had moved out. Bonus! Spoilt rotten. 🙂 But was it all hunky dory? Why is it then that I cannot get my dad out of my head? And why was it that the medium asked me twice if my father is in the spirit world? Oh crap.. what ‘stuff’ do I need to get rid off to release myself and change old thoughts and habits?

Anywho… I felt today was really good and a great skill to use regularly on each other- yes Pete -sorry your turn next!

I have finally received a reply from Professor Dalgliesh regarding the microwave treatment. After two months of having my scan, the radiologist has decided that ‘due to proximity of the lesions that the treatment would not be useful at this time’. I am of course not surprised. I had a feeling that now was not the time for it. But, I keep plugging with things that may help me long term. I think for now I will just focus on my plans over the next few weeks; Germany on Monday and Tuesday and then reiki the following week as well as acupuncture, reflexology and reading and self development. I plan to drink less alcohol as I am sure that cannot be doing me much good stripping me of my goodness (nutritionally not personally!)

I am willing this all so much that I don’t want to forget to enjoy myself. I have been feeling so much love and happiness I really don’t want my head to take over and ruin all the fun! The point of it is this; I am to focus on how I feel NOW. That is easy, I feel great. I am to focus on what I do each day is the best that I can do- Great I can answer that- I feel much calmer and less hard on myself. Infact I haven’t written a list of to-do’s in a few weeks! I must ignore what the next scan I have says to some degree because now is that matters. Keep it simple. My biggest rule in life. The only thing I need to drum into my head is to trust myself. I am doing everything right at the best of my ability.

I love to draw so here’s a little pic I did last night ‘The importance of a cat in meditation’… 🙂

Night! X

The signs are there I just need to believe in myself…

Awoke feeling tired wishing that I could stay in bed. And I could if I wanted to.. But that’s just not me. I didn’t rush my morning rituals but I really should eat a lot earlier than I do. Yoga was a real treat this morning as Kitty joined me. It was relief for her to be so cute as yesterday she was a bit under the weather with a dodgy eye. Bless her. But today she decided she would tuck herself under my armpit whilst I was lying doing some breathing… Thankyou!

I’m a little frustrated today as Prof Dalgliesh still hasn’t got back to me to confirm if I can have teh microwave treatment. After more than two months of him having my scans from August, he has said its been sent to a radiologist for their opinion but as yet no reply. I don’t massively feel uptight about it as I don’t feel any major urge to have the treatment (I think everything is working) but I do not want to rule anything out. It could be essential in combating this disease for me.

The weather isn’t as nice today so I am pleased I am not going anywhere. I have a good friend coming over this evening so for today I am going to be reading another new book. Pete can’t believe how much I am reading but when it’s this interesting and I really feel like things are unfolding and coming to me as I need them.

I really would like this website and my blog to more well known. I think if I can obtain more interest and exposure then I gain more knowledge from others and share with mine and hoepfully together we can find a solution to this canSer. I don’t think there is just one thing but what I have noticed on forums is that you don’t hear from very many people that have recovered fully. It’s normally poeple looking for answers. I can tell you when I have the result I want then I will be shouting it from the roof tops. I don’t simply want to raise money for canSer research I don’t believe that is the answer. I believe that many things within the ten point plan are the answer and that is in us. But still I think I could help people recover. I think I would prefer to help individuals intially survive than to plough money into research that really takes so long for the money to be used and have an affect.  I want to make the positive changes on someones life. I now know that you cannot be cured of something without wanting to be cured and changing your ways. And the chances are always positive ones..so it’s a win win situation.

I also cannot believe that only a week ago I was feeling awful with a cold and now there are no signs of it.. not even a sniffle or a cough.. now is that the power of the mind or the body? I know for sure that yesterday I should have had a hangover but I told myself that I was going to feel fine. Ok I was a bit like Bambi for an hour but after that no one would have known… Woop! The signs are there I just need to believe in myself….

Right time to go and talk to myself..! Ha ha!

Finishing the week on a high…

Finishing the week on a high, I had antother day at home, with a friend visiting ( bagging herself most of my clothes! I should have shares in Karen Millen), followed by a new client (despite me not taking on new clients as a rule, this particular lady was lovely and so persistent I decided to do her brows for her. Another satisified customer) as well as preparing for our friends visiting tomorrow. We have decided to have a Halloween and Fireworks party. It is a small affair but as usual we don’t do things by halves. I spent a couple of hours decorating the place and delegated the cooking out to the guests (all veggie of course).

I have to admit I felt pooped by the time Pete got home when I was carving a pumpkin. I had prepared one for him as he had never done it! Bless him.

But I have been feeling really tired. I feel like I am coming down with another cold.. only its just the nose running bit at this stage. This has put the fear into me. I dread this as I keep thinking well i shold be so healthy.. how can this be happening? I decided a hot bath was the right medication and have been spoaking for a good half hour. I dread getting sick as I really wonder if it is symptoms of the disease. All this week I have been feeling so positive and really thinking I have cracked it but as soon I feel slightly poorly I get so worried! I long not to worry please!


This is the list of all that I am doing to ensure I beat canSer surely I it must be working:


Meditate every day- making a kinder mind and being more thankful

Green juices- all vegetables

Alkaline diet- rich in raw, fresh, organic vegetables. Avoiding acidic foods and drinks such as sugar, meat, dairy and alcohol

Avoid sugar which breeds canSer

High oxygen levels in blood from foods and supplements as well as airnergy machine.

Vitamin d3 -activates the immune system to work against rogue cells. It has the ability to normalise and correct cancer cells. So it boosts the immune system, prevents cancer.

CLA- can block canSer.

Chlorella-prevent cancer through its ability to cleanse the body of toxins and heavy metals. Some web sites describe it as the perfect food, saying that it regulates blood sugar, kills cancer cells, strengthens the immune system, and even “reverses the aging cycle.”

Selenium-potent antioxidant or scavenger of carcinogenic free radicals.

Bromelain- anti-inflammatory and blood thinner

Red clover-antioxidant, blood thinning and lymph cleanser

Astralagus-Supports immune system and protexts body against diseases.

Ashwaganda-anti inflammatory, anti tumour, anti stress, immune enhancing.

Cleavers- lymph tonic, detox immune and tissues.

Chaparral-Antioxidant, ised for respiratory ailments, clears mucus.

Biobran-enhance depleted immune systems

Curcumin- stops the growth of blood vessels in tumours.

Mushrooms-stimulates natural killer cell activity

Omega 3 oil

IP6- boosts natural killer cells.

Coenzyme Q10

N-Acetyl  cysteine- a modified form of the amino acid cysteine, is a powerful antioxidant that helps your body to generate glutathione and prevent cellular damage.

Dipyridamole- helps to keep blood flowing by stopping platelets from clumping together and by keeping heart blood vessels open.

Superfood and wheatgrass and barley grass- highly alkaline, full of chlorophyll which is filled with oxygen.

Apricot kernels-amygdalin, which is also known as vitamin B17. This attacks cancer cells,

Reishi spores and mushrooms- massively immune boosting and improves natural killer cells.

Exercise daily- 30 minutes keeps illnesses at bay and is proven to promote good health.

Acupuncture-works on the immunity and getting everything working at its most efficient.

Reflexology- healing

Yoga- deep breathing and clears mind. Opens me up to the universe to listen to my heart my truest guide and to become more intuitive.

FIR heat- and Hyperthermia- heating cells to above 42.5% disturbs the canSer therefore killing it.

NDV- avian flu kills canSer

P2X7- found in every cell except those which are canSerous. Kills the canSer cells.

Dendritic cell therapy- using my own defence mechanisms to teach and kill the canSer

Positive thinking and visualisation- exercising my mind to extract negative thoughts and habits to believe that I am healing myself.

Baths and essential oils- remove toxins and soothes.

Be happy- try to do things that help myself and enhance my mood. Helping others and making them feel good too.

Affirmations and hypnosis- reinforcing my strengths and the positives.

Love- find the goodness and be thankful – removes hostility and negative thinking. Love comes in abundance and the more I give it the more I receive it and feel it.

Blog/Journal- Writing how I feel and how much I want this to work to help others.

Knowing I have support from everyone I know. I never knew how much love I had.

I am one lucky girl.


Off to bed for us – party animals all the way.. well we are saving ourselves for tomorrow. X

Water horse, water dragon and a warrior- Me?

We had the best nights sleep. Apart from staying in the biggest bed, we were staying in rural Northumberland- no light or noise. It was so peaceful.

I drove myself to Dr Kate James’ house which was also out in the countryside by a farm.

I have to be honest I wasn’t sure what to expect. First impressions (anyone that knows me, knows that I am quite OCD about certain things!) were ‘oh god, I’m scared’. It was a very ‘floopy’ home; very spritual and hippy- not what I expected from a conventional doctor. However, I know I was meant to be there and couldn’t wait to get started. The day was filled with discussing nutrition, diet, supplements and more.. To be honest there was so much talking it’s hard to remember what was said!

Dr Kate works very intuitively. She ‘feels’ what you need, which sounds totally crazy but the herbs she recommends she has done her homework on as she knows and studies the scientific background to each thing. It made me realise that she may have a ‘feeling’ she should offer it, but also knows the effects on the human physiology.

A lot of Kate’s basis is from Chinese medicine. She massivley urges me to have acupuncture more, Chinese herbs, and tonics as well as Chi Gung.

She likes to know what ‘type’ of person one is on a Chinese astrological chart. It works by taking your date of birth including the hour you were born. It gives her an insight into what elements are stong in your character as well as the animals. Each animal and element has certain characteristics. So I discovered I am a water dragon and water horse with a lot of earth. Apparently that means I am very intuitive, protective, always on the go (hence the water, more like a waterfall than a lake as it’s always moving) fiery, driven but also a warrior! Or maybe she meant ‘worrier’ as I am certainly that!

I actually felt better knowing that I was actually born this way and haven’t become a neurotic, high maintenance, pain in the backside! ha ha! Knowing that ultimately helps with how she treats and teaches me. It was fulfilling knowing that I am intuitive. I just need to trust myself more. Listen to my heart and not battle my head.

After a hearty home cooked organic lentil and root veg soup we carried on with Emotional Freedom Technique. EFT is really intersting, otherwise known as tapping, I repeated words and sayings that Kate said, as if it was from me and my thoughts. Blimey what an effect! I totally felt overwhelmed and started crying. I think what got me was to know that I felt so out of control and that I don’t really know the real me, as I always want to please. I felt a sense of calm after we finished. 6 hours really have flown by!

Marijuana could help stop canSer spreading!?

As usual the search for a possible cure or treatment that may extend my life and the lives of others continues and it’s amazing what one can find on the internet! Just so you know I didn’t find the info below… Pete did. It gives new meaning to getting high! 🙂

A pair of scientists at California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco has found that a compound derived from marijuana could stop metastasis in many kinds of aggressive cancer, potentially altering the fatality of the disease forever.

“It took us about 20 years of research to figure this out, but we are very excited,” said Pierre Desprez, one of the scientists behind the discovery, to The Huffington Post. “We want to get started with trials as soon as possible.”

The San Francisco Chronicle first reported on the finding, which has already undergone both laboratory and animal testing, and is awaiting permission for clinical trials in humans.

Desprez, a molecular biologist, spent decades studying ID-1, the gene that causes cancer to spread. Meanwhile, fellow researcher Sean McAllister was studying the effects of Cannabidiol, or CBD, a non-toxic, non-psychoactive chemical compound found in the cannabis plant. Finally, the pair collaborated, combining CBD and cells containing high levels of ID-1 in a petri dish.

“What we found was that his Cannabidiol could essentially ‘turn off’ the ID-1,” Desprez told HuffPost. The cells stopped spreading and returned to normal.

“We likely would not have found this on our own,” he added. “That’s why collaboration is so essential to scientific discovery.”

Desprez and McAllister first published a paper about the finding in 2007. Since then, their team has found that CBD works both in the lab and in animals. And now, they’ve found even more good news.

“We started by researching breast cancer,” said Desprez. “But now we’ve found that Cannabidiol works with many kinds of aggressive cancers–brain, prostate–any kind in which these high levels of ID-1 are present.”

Desprez hopes that clinical trials will begin immediately.

“We’ve found no toxicity in the animals we’ve tested, and Cannabidiol is already used in humans for a variety of other ailments,” he said. Indeed, the compound is used to relieve anxiety and nausea, and, since it is non-psychoactive, does not cause the “high” associated with THC.

While marijuana advocates will surely praise the discovery, Desprez explained that it’s not so easy as just lighting up.

“We used injections in the animal testing and are also testing pills,” he said. “But you could never get enough Cannabidiol for it to be effective just from smoking.”

Furthermore, the team has started synthesizing the compound in the lab instead of using the plant in an effort to make it more potent.

“It’s a common practice,” explained Desprez. “But hopefully it will also keep us clear of any obstacles while seeking approval.”


We will keep our eyes and ears to the ground for the next new development.

Have a good weekend Y’all. Ours is weekend of chores, fresh air, shopping (fingers crossed) and possibly a visit to the Global Retreat Centre for some meditation. (I won’t be dragging Bear there- he offered!:))

Love and Light. X

Vaccine number 2-Cocktail of cells and proteins

Second day in Germany for treatment. Good news came from Dr Nesselhut. We were all ready to ask as to when I could have the new vaccine containing P2X7. Two reasons for being apprehensive; 1.He may say I have to wait. 2.The cost. Once the words were spoken he looked a little puzzled and said, ” You are already having it”. This did confuse me as he said last time I had to wait and had ommited the new antigen had been already included in my cocktail of cells.

Apparently I am having primed dendritic cells not only for NDV but also for nf-P2X7 which is non functioning death program within cancer cells only. This should in theory mean, the canSer cells within me, die. Normal cells have P2X7, which when the time is right, activates the death of cell. Woohoo! Bonus- double whammy! It’s cutting edge and has only been used on 30 patients at their clinic in the last 3 months.

We discussed forward planning. Dr Nesselhut says really if I feel well, I should do at least 3 if not all 4 treatment months before having a CT scan to see if it has worked,.

We discussed chemo- he said some low level chemo drugs can help if there is a shortage of some sort of cells (can’t remember what) But he says my levels are fine.

This time 8 million cells were injected- a littele less than the 15 million last time but more than the average 3 million.

Whilst I was being treated Pete bought the Angel Lady a heart made of slate to thank her for her kind words and asked more about the angels. She said that there is lots to tell but wants him to read a book which she will give him next time.

One last thing was Dr Nesslehut mentioned the vaccine includes an immune boosting protein deriving from a South Sea Island snail which is so far removed evolutionary from European homosapiens that it really gets the DC cells twitching.

Booked for October and November for the last two months of treatment.

Drove to Hanover- now in bed at 8.30pm ready for an early start to go home… 🙂

Even more vitamin D?!

Back into the clinic today for my next NDV and oncothermic treatment. As the heat treatment is performed by radiofrequency it made me chuckle as I could feel myself vibrating. Had a good conversation with Cindy today regarding diet and nutrition. She reaffirmed that an alkaline diet is essential for everyone but also focused on the needs of vitamin D3 which I had already been recommended to have by Professor Dalgliesh. Cindy asked my vitamin D3 levels and I explained that I had a test and it said I was above average and I am only taking 2000IU per day. She recommended my levels should be at 95 and that I should increase my intake of the vitamin to 10,000IU per day- Whoa. I decided there and then to buy some vitamin D3 in liquid form. Taking tablets is getting pretty hefty on the tummy. I also bought a water bottle to make the water alkaline- perfect when I am out and about. The brand is by Nikken and its called a PiMag sports bottle. I tested the pH levels when I got back and it was in the 8’s- this is brilliant. Check it out:www.nikken.co.uk/p/pimag-sport-bottle.html

I think it may be wise to get my blood analysed to see what I am lacking if anything. That will reinforce all that I am doing.

The sun has been out here today and so having an afternoon free we sat beside a lake eating organic salad and drinking coconut water reading The pH Miracle and soaking up the warmth like meercats. We even swam in the lake with a cormorant that was catching fish. I felt very alive and in touch with nature- totally refreshing. Ahhhhhhhh………….


Harvest Festival (of White Blood Cells!)

Today was my first treatment at the German clinic. As you would expect they were ready and waiting. I was being treated by Cindy a lovely friendly and perfect English speaking nurse. The room was immaculate all set for a two hour treatment with a DVD player and funny movies to watch (specifically funny so as not to upset your blood pressure). I have to admit I was a little scared. Leukapheresis sounded like a doddle- all they had to do was separate my white blood cells from my blood. Then they will be targeted at the cancer and re-injected as a vaccine. This can be further enhanced by adding antigens in future treatments in response to the cancer activity.

So going back to today’s treatment- removing the white blood cells. They literally removed the blood from my body- twice! Sounds mad? You should have seen me, well you can in the images attached. I had tubes coming out of both arms. I was unable to move the whole time as my blood was removed, circulated through a machine and then reinserted into me minus the white blood cells.

There was risk to the treatment but fortunately all I felt was tingly in my hands and face. This meant I needed calcium replacing in my body- so I was given calcium tablets. Other than my vein collapsing during the procedure it was all pretty pain free. It was helped by being distracted watching Bradley Cooper in the Hangover. 🙂

Day off tomorrow when Bear and I will have a small lie in and get back to nature. It really is beautiful here.

Met Dr Nesselhut in Duderstadt

Had a 6 hour drive through Belgium, holland then finally arrived in Duderstadt in Germany. It’s so beautiful and quaint. We could have flown to Hanover but then where is the adventure and excitement in that?! My first appointment was simply to have my bloods taken to test it to see if I have HIV, Hepatitis b and c and to provide a blood count. The test has to be done by law to ensure the staffs safety but the blood count is important to ensure I have enough blood cells to do the treatment. We met Doctor Nesselhut (Junior) who explained everything in detail. So far we are very impressed. I’m due back there tomorrow at 8.30am for my first part of the treatment. I’ve been given an itinerary of all the other treatments I will be having over the week and will report more on those as they happen. Off to bed for an early night.

Scientists and Dendritic Cells….

Early start off to Reading to see a group of doctors who specialise in dendritic cell therapy. It was a very exciting meeting with lots of information on nutrition, how the immune system has such a huge part to play and how mood and stress levels affect it.  It was good to know our ten point plan has been given the thumbs up. One of the docs really emphasised the importance of acupuncture, yoga and mediation for improving healing and boosting the immunity. Pete and I left buzzing. We just have to mull it over then if I choose to go ahead with it off to Zurich I go! As if that wasn’t exciting enough I then get a call from Prof Gus who says that my nodules are so small radio frequency ablation or microwave are not an option however he has spoken to a doctor in Germany who combines dendritic cell therapy with another immunotherapy( it’s all letters and numbers- very confusing) The prof says as my nodules are so small now is a great time for this type of treatment. So we have the German fellas details and will call first thing Monday. As well at that he said he had been doing a lot of research and has seen a drug called dipyramidole which is used for blood clotting and has other functions has a positive effect on triple negative breast cancer, available from doctor with no side effects or danger to my health. The prof says it’s worth a go! He is going to write to my doctor ASAP.

Oo also my infrared lamp arrived. The doctors we spoke to all agreed that cancer cells are very sensitive to heat, now maybe a lamp won’t work but it says it should heat up to 2 inches deep. I’m only 4 inches in depth so heck it’s worth a try until I have an actual professional heat treatment.

All in all a great day (plus I had the Bear with me all day) 🙂