Last night my Bear and I got our heads together and reviewed all six scans I have had in the last year. We have now deduced that I have two nodules in my left lung and three in my right. They increased in size quite a bit last year and by February this year reduced dramatically. By May the radiologist didn’t mention much other than they had gone in my lymph nodes and the ones in my lungs were ‘too small to assess’. On yesterdays scan report another radiologist has said that the right nodules have increased since the last scan. One of them being 8mm to 9mm. The ‘contralateral lesions’ I now understand to mean the ones in the left lung, have not increased nor decreased in size. We both feel that’s a huge relief and a great outcome really although a bit frustrating as I was so keen, obviously, to have seen another reduction in size. It sends the head into a spin wondering what have I don’t differently for it not have had a better outcome.
Well no point worrying but I do. I do get concerned that forever more I will have to think about what happens next. I know I have to live in the now. But everyone else around me can go to bed at night knowing that they are well. Or at least they think are. I should see it as good thing that I get the opportunity to make amendments and improvements so that I live the healthiest life possible feeling totally aware.
I posted my good news on facebook and have been completely inundated with well wishers. I have received over 160 people comments and acknowledgements as well as personal messages from complete strangers that made me feel just brilliant, saying how my posts and blogs help them and have motivated them to live better as well as words of strength and to stay strong and how brave I am being. I don’t feel brave and courageous. I feel sometimes like nothing can stop me and other times so confused about what’s it all about? I even have moments of, ‘Why me?’ Not very often but I am only human after all. I understand life means death but not yet….. Pete unequivocally knows I will be alive for at least another 15 years doing what I am doing and that by then there will be a cure.
I just want thank everyone for their support. It keeps me going and I want to a better person for everyone else.
Today I got on as normal and have to admit I really enjoyed my morning juice. I used strawberries, parsley, spinach, ginger, cucumber and celery. Mmm. It was lurvely!
After my clients this afternoon I had an acupuncture session and had a new experience. The therapist used moxa as a form of acupuncture. This ancient art using moxa (also known as mugwort or Artemisa Vulgaris/Artemisia Leaf) is called the “doctor’s grass.” Moxibustion (the burning of moxa) is believed to emit “yang” (dynamic and active) energy when burnt. Moxibustion works so well because it allows the body to absorb the energy emitted by the moxa. By holding the moxa stick over the acupuncture points, the body is able to take in, store and slowly release this energy into the body. It felt warm and comforting and the points she used them are for the digestion, liver and kidneys. She felt that as these areas get battered by me having chemo they could do with some TLC. She has given me a moxa stick to use at home and I have to rope Pete into doing it for me maybe daily during the two weeks I am taking chemo. I feel really tired this afternoon but I think I still need to catch up on sleep. I started my next round of chemo today… only 13 more days then another cycle over- side effect free.
Pete and his colleagues from VTUK are going to be doing some charity work to raise more funds for my chosen charities. On Sunday 25th August eight of his team, including Pete and one girl, are going to be doing the Spartan Race. It’s going to be tough! Spartan Race, the global leader in Obstacle Racing since 2005, was designed by seven insane ultra athletes and a Royal Marine. It’s an obstacle course race that is designed to test your resilience, strength, stamina, quick decision making skills, and ability to laugh in the face of adversity. They tried to get me to do it but I don’t think i am up for it! I am really pleased for them but they aim to raise a £1000 each and are busily trying to get donations. If you would like to donate please click on the link here: http://uk.virginmoneygiving.
I’m so proud of them all and I know it will be really hard but so much fun. I’ll be there egging them on for sure.
One more client to go then I’m done for the day. Pete’s on his third day of juicing and he’s still going strong.. a raw meal for me I feel. Night Y’all.