Today is the day….

Today is the day… For my next CT scan. I have been remarkably calm probably because I have been so busy I haven’t had time to worry. But now I am about to go out for a few hours I have to wait till 4pm on a Friday afternoon to have the said scan. I have to admit I am no a little jittery. I don’t really know why as I won’t be getting the results until the 11th Feb! This is only due to the fact I am away for a full week. So really there is nothing to be worried about at all today. It’s not as if my life changes today but I guess I know that as a result of today’s scan my life is going to change. Well if I let it. I am ever hopeful and really have a good feeling but I can’t help that niggling feeling in the pit of my tummy that throws doubt up in the air.

I have had the pleasure of sharing info with my TNBC friend and it feels good to know we have each other’s back. That’s what is great about these kinds of networks. But this time it feels like I really have a confidante. We are so similar and our drive to survive is the same. Lots of new information is feeding forth between us and new doctors and trial names are filtering through. It’s great having a new set of eyes on the subject. It’s amazing what one person can find that I never ever heard of!

Maybe I am also a little floopy as we are leaving tomorrow. I always get a bit nervous. I am anxious of making it to the airport on time, will the flight leave ok or will the weather have an adverse effect on the travelling? Will our transfer be ok, will the hotel be alright? It’s so silly but I will never be calm about travel. I guess it’s because I have no control over it.

I am going for reflexology soon. I haven’t had one in nearly two months so I am really looking forward to it but I am anxious that being Friday afternoon will the traffic from there to the hospital be awful and hold me up… Again there is no point anticipating what I cannot control.  I am thinking of every possible route to get me there with very little trouble. Maybe doing a coffee enema this morning hasn’t helped me feel calm. I feel jittery. Initially I felt vibrant dancing around the kitchen but now I am simply just strung out! Argh! Ha ha…

Chill Winston. ….

Right I best have a calming cuppa and then get on my way to an eventful afternoon. Bye!

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