I twisted mum’s arm to stay another night and she has just left this morning. I didn’t take much to convince her to stay. We had a lovely day yesterday having tea and flapjacks with my friend whilst we exchanged eyebrows treatments for haircuts. Then off I went to the farm shop then onto have my nails done. It was warm and sunny enough to have the top down on my car too so a really treat getting some late summer vitamin D.
The week has flown by with mum being here and last night we had a real giggle watching TV comedy. I will miss and always hate her leaving but there is always next time…
Pete has gone away for the weekend with the boys from work to a chilli festival! So I am eagerly waiting for my old school friend to arrive for a few days of chatting and girly stuff.
I spoke to Pete early this morning whilst he snuck out and left the boys all snoring from over indulgence last night. I’m sure he won’t me saying that he has a lot on his mind and that amounts to worrying about me. He so wants me to be well and be healthy but the fear and the worry about finances and what will bes can just get too much at night. When he shows his fears and worries I can’t help feel overcome too. It brings it home doesn’t it when your nearest and dearest are fretful. It’s so hard on family to have to sit by and also feel what I do. I strongly urge anyone going through this with a loved one to also embark on mediation and spiritual practice. Pete hasn’t yet factored meditation into his daily routine but everyone is different and cope in their own ways. I know for me that despite all the work I do I still feel very overcome at times. I read so many success stories of people that had only one to live but then the canSer has gone and they are alive years later canSer free. I just get the feeling whenever I speak to an oncologist at hospital that this isn’t the case for me. I guess they don’t want to give me hope. It is hard for anyone around me and for me personally to actually believe I have a life threatening or worse terminal illness. For all the hard work and the treatments that I am having you would think it only fair that I should be one of the lucky ones but that’s how weird life is. Things could get much worse before they get better. Or they may simply stay the same and I should be thankful for what I have got; a great life, perfect (almost) health surrounded by love and many prospects for the future.
Deep down I know we have made the right decisions and I know we will continue to do what we can. Pete 100% believes in the cell therapy. I am willing to give it a break and see what happens on chemo alone. On our next visit to Germany I will ask Dr Nesselhut if we can extend the times between appointments. This could be useful to us financially and emotionally. It takes a lot each trip to get time off work and re gig our diaries. I just feel grateful for having the opportunity to travel there with such a supportive and loving husband.
Today is World Gratitude Day. I think this is a lovely way to tell those you love how much you care and thank them for everything they have done for you. What are you grateful for? I am grateful for so much this list is endless. I am grateful for the life I have been given and to all the support from all well wishers and fund raisers. I am grateful to Dr Nesselhut and his team and to the loving care I get from my Bear. He knows this but it still is nice to be told. Make sure you tell those around you how grateful you are today.